Avengers Disassembled
by abstract0118
Summary: Clint gets hit during a fight against HYDRA agents, which causes him to go deaf. He needs an operation, but he could die from it. Will he survive after the operation? Will any of them? Sorry this is such a bad summary. CLINTASHA! All character owned by MARVEL. PLEASE REVIEW!
1. The Battle

**Hi, this is my new story! I hope you like it and please review.**

The bullets were rapidly firing out of my guns, hitting the HYDRA agents that were across the streets of Manhattan. Clint was a couple of streets away fighting down the rest. Seven down, two to go. I was currently reloading my guns round the side of the street, leaning against the wall. I slotted the magazines into my guns and looked round the corner. I saw them, hiding behind a car, their guns pointed in my directions through the broken windows.

As soon as they saw me, they started to fire in my direction. I quickly hid behind the building again, whilst they shot bullets into the wall next to me. I looked right and saw a broken mini-car in the avenue. _Lets do this._ I told myself and gripped my guns tightly. I took a deep breath before I sprinted towards the car. I did my three aerial cartwheels in a row to get there, every shooting my gun at the enemy constantly. When I got cover at the car, I remember hearing the groan of one of my victims dying. I don't like the fact that I have to kill people, but it's my job.

I got onto the floor and looked across as the dead body on the other side of the car. One left. I looked over and saw him reloading his gun. _Amateur._ I brought up my gun and shot him straight in the head. All nine dead. "Hawkeye, where are you?" I asked into the comms. _Hurry up and reply ass-hole._ "Hawk?" He must be eating some food right now or taking a break. "HEY! Clint. What's your location?"

I am getting seriously fed up with him now. Where is he? "Clint, if you don't fucking answer me then-"

"Nat, shut up!" I heard his voice go through the earpiece. He was whispering. Why is he whispering?

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because..." he said and I heard him load an arrow and fire it over the comms. "I haven't finished the mission yet!"

"How many left?"

"About five!" he said, breathlessly.

"Are you sleeping on the job?"

"You had nine! I had fifteen!" he complained.

"Whatever, just get the job done okay?"

"Come meet me here and assist then." _He never admits he needs help._

"Where are you?" I asked.

"23rd Street."

"See you there." There in two minutes.

I remembered that I left my motorbike round the corner. I had nearly run out of ammunition, so I have two options. 1. Run to Clint now and take my chances or 2. Go to my bike to get extra support. Okay...bike.

It took me two minutes to get to the bike and start it up. "Clint, I'm on my way." I said putting the keys in the ignition.

Suddenly, I heard a huge explosion through the ear piece and in the city. I felt the ground move and I came to the realisation. Clint.

"Clint, what was that?" I asked through the earpiece. Static. "Clint?" I asked more urgently. "CLINT!"

I frantically twisted the keys, starting the engine and speeded down to 23rd street. As I drove, the thought kept running through my mind. What if he's dead? Why didn't I just run? I kept driving through the streets until I saw smoke rising from the side of a street. Not to my surprise, it was 23rd.

"Shit." I exclaimed. "CLINT!" I screamed, stopped the motorcycle and started sprinting down the streets to try and find him.

"CLINT, WHERE ARE YOU!?" I shouted. _Oh my God! Where is he? Was he in the explosion? Did he get...did he get killed?_

I quickly called Tony for assistance. "Spider woman." I heard a voice come over the speaker.

"Stark, you had better find Clint right now."

"I'm putting the suit on now. Where are you and what's happened?" he asked, sounding more urgent.

"23rd Street. There was an explosion." I explained.

"Alright calm it!"

"HE WAS IN THE EXPLOSION AND I CAN'T FUCKING FIND HIM YOU PRICK! HIS COMMUNICATION HAS GONE STATIC!" I screamed.

"Shit!" he said seriously. I saw him come up overhead in his red and golden suit. The oh so great Iron man.

"Hey, I see him."

"WHERE?" I shouted.

"1. Ouch, don't speak so loud. 2. About 10m infront of you next to the building on your left."

"Okay." I replied and ran over to where he told me to go. "Clint?" I shouted out into the piles of rubble.

I heard someone groan quietly and I looked to where the source was. "Clint?" I whispered. He was lying chest down on a concrete slab. His right leg was slightly lifted and bent at the knee whilst the left was completely straight. His shoes were scuffed and were torn at the sides. There were small pieces of rubble all over his suit. In his right hand, his bow, lying in his loose grip and both of his hands were covered in bloody scratches, raw from battle. His hair was scruffy as usual and had blood matted into it. I saw a pool of blood around his head, dripping its way down the granite and onto the floor. The others around, the enemies, all seemed unmoving and dead.

"CLINT!" I screamed and quickly checked his pulse. I felt a faint pulse against my fingertips, but also felt a slimy warm mixture pouring down his neck. At first I thought it was sweat, until I brought it away from the shadows and saw my fingers covered in blood. _Oh my God._

"No life signs detected apart from Clints." I was very happy to hear the 'apart from Clints' section of that sentence.

I stared to turn Clint over. "Stark I need you right-" I began, but stopped when I saw Clint's face. His ears were covered with blood, along with multiple cuts across his face, blood dripping down them. His eyes were closed and there was a cut across his bottom lip. I saw that the front of his suit had splashes of blood over it and I wondered where the wound was and where Tony was.

Iron Man landed a few metres away and rushed over. His face lifted up and revealed Tony. "Jesus Christ." he exclaimed and came over. "Thor, I need you to come and get Romanoff." he said, obviously talking over the comms.

"I'm not leaving him." I said, my voice devoid of all emotions. I had to put them aside...for the minute.

"You have to. If you want to save your boyfriend, then you have to go separately. I can't take you both." Tony said. I ignored his comments, huffed and finally agreed. I nodded my head and then he took Clint in his arms. I sucked in a breath as he did. I didn't want to see Clint hurt.

I saw Thor thunder towards me, as Tony left with Clint. "Are you well, Lady Natasha?"

"If you mean am I hurt, then no. Not really."

"I shall take you to safety, my lady." Thor announced, putting his arm around my back and lifting me into the air. _He is such a gentleman. Sometimes I wish Clint was more like Thor, because sometimes Clint is a complete and utter immature brat. I wouldn't want him to change however. I like Clint just the way that he is._ I didn't realise how much time had passed, because we were already at the top of Avengers Tower.

"JARVIS, where is he?"

"If you are relating to Mr. Barton, he is in the infirmary Miss Romanoff." JARVIS replied.

"Thank you." I replied, trying to control my nerves. I _was_ nervous. Clint's life was on the line and I needed to get to him. Me and Thor rushed down the stairs to the infirmary room where Clint was just lying there, not moving. Not a twitch. Banner and Stark were there, Banner with medical notes and Stark fixing a tube leading into Clint's body. I hate to see him hurt.

Maria and Steve were standing at the doors, blocking the entrance and waiting for my arrival. "Report?" I asked them, my face remaining serious as ever.

"4 broken ribs, fractured hand and..." Steve said and then looked from me to Maria and then back to me.

"What is it?" I asked curious as to why they were acting so weirdly.

"Something has happened. Something...that will affect him quite badly."

"Rogers, stop pissing around. Tell me what has happened." Steve squinted at the harsh language.

"It's Clint. The explosion caused...damage to his ears..."

"Meaning?" I pressed, not hoping for the bad news I knew he was going to give me.

"He is deaf in both ears, Natasha." he said sorrowfully, not even looking at me. His gaze stayed set on the floor as he said "I'm sorry."

"It's..." I started, but almost couldn't finish my sentence. "It's f-fine Steve. Honestly. I just need to see him." I said, pushing past him. I opened the doors and did a quick walk over to where he lay. I tried to look like I wasn't worried, but I couldn't even tell.

"Did Steve tell you?" Bruce asked. I almost didn't hear him ask me the question because I was too consumed with the fact that my partner was so damaged. The bloody cuts on his face were now just cuts because the blood has been wiped away. His suit only covered his bottom half, leaving his stomach, chest and arms free to move.

More deep scratches covered his torso. I could see where most of the damage had been done though. His ears had been cleaned, and were luckily still attached to his head, but unfortunately the blood seemed to continued to pour out of the left one, even though there was a bandage wrapped around it.

"Is he sleeping?" I asked Banner.

"Unconscious at present. He should wake up after we perform an operation to stop the bleeding." Bruce explained.

"And then?"

"There are two options."

"Which are?" I asked, attempting to get straight to the point and not let sympathy of the others get in the way.

"1. Leave him in this current state of deafness."

"That is not an option Banner."

"Okay." He said looking slightly scared. "The second...is an operation that may kill him. However, there is a chance that his hearing may be repaired."

 _How are we meant to figure this out?_

 **I hope you liked the chapter! I thought I would base my story around how Clint became deaf. Please review :)**


	2. Consequences

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Thank you for reviewing! I love hearing your comments! Please review more :)**

I spent the night be his bed, on the comfortable chair next to him. I woke up and looked at the clock which read 6:15. I fell asleep at around 2:15. Assassins sleep lightly.

I looked at Clint. His wounds were beginning to heal but the scratches on his face were still red. The blood had finally stopped pouring out of his ears at around 1 this morning and his ears were now protected by bandages. Banner mentioned something about keeping pressure on the wounds. Stark explained that his eardrums had been severely damaged. He also said that he was lucky not to be killed by the explosion. Lucky? How is is luck?

I felt guilty. I would never tell anyone that I was because that would mean that I had emotions. Black Widow with emotions? That would be in the newspapers for weeks. I could've got to 23rd and helped him shoot them down quicker, instead of getting my bike. Yes, I would've had only a couple of bullets to kill the enemy with, but at least it may have solved the situation if the enemy threw the grenade.

My thoughts were interrupted by a small groan and I realised that Clint was slowly waking up.

"Clint?" I said, standing up and walking over to the side of his bed.

"Tash?" He asked, his eyes fluttering open. His voice was croaky and quiet.

"Yeah, it's me. How are you feeling?" I asked and he looked at me, confused. "What is it?" I asked. What's up with him? He lifted his hands up to his ears and then I got it. Deaf.

Before he could fiddle with the bandages on his head, I caught his hands and out them back down by his sides.

"What's going on?" He asked, panicking about his sudden loss of hearing.

"Stay calm." I reassured him, but I forgot he couldn't hear me. "Breathe." I said slowly and breathed deeply so he could see. His short breaths lengthened and I slowly withdrew my grip of his hands, knowing that I could trust him not to freak out.

"What is wrong with me?" He asked, his voice now becoming stronger with the more he spoke.

"Um..." I picked up a pad and a pen on the side table.

As I clicked the pen he said "I can lip read. It's okay." I nodded and placed them back down on the side.

"Do you remember the mission?" I asked.

He nodded and replied "HYRDA agents in the street. Just us taking them down. I had fifteen and you had nine. Unfair." He smirked, which made me smile inside. At least he still has a sense of humour, even if it does piss me off sometimes.

"Do you remember us talking over comms?" I asked.

"Yeah. You said you were coming to help me."

"And then?" I said.

"There were too many and more were coming round the corner. I was running out of arrows. I decided to take out an explosive arrow and shoot the centre of the group to take them all out. I fired the shot and was getting up to run, but...one of the enemies had snuck up behind me, knife at my throat. I managed to kick him back quickly, in the space of a second, but I only ran a couple of metres before the explosion went off." He paused on looked up at me. "Nat, what happened?"

"The explosion." I tapped lightly on my ears. "It made you deaf Clint."

He looked forward and his lips parted, looking surprisingly calm for someone who just found out information that will change his whole life. "What do we do?" He asked, his voice now breaking down slightly from emotion, and looked up at me.

"Stark has created something to get your hearing back." I said, a sad expression on his face so he would know that it wasn't all beneficial.

"But...?" He asked.

"There is a chance..." I said and took a deep breath. "A chance that you could die."

He nodded slowly in understanding. "What do you think I should do?"

"It's not my life."

"I want your opinion."

"Of course I want you to hear again, but I couldn't live with myself if you died."

"Nat it wasn't your fault." He said.

"I didn't say that."

"But you were thinking it." He said as fact rather than question. He raised his eyebrows and I rolled my eyes. "It's not your fault. I was the one who took the shot."

"I could have come for you instead of getting the motorbike."

"And why did you decide to get the bike?"

"To get more ammo." I answered.

"Exactly. You did what any of us would've done to support a team member." He explained and I just sighed, meaning that I didn't want to talk about it anymore. He caught my drift and moved onto another subject. "So what happens now? The operation or?"

"I'll go and get stark and banner. They'll talk me through what's going to happen."

"They are on their way, miss Romanoff." JARVIS said.

I looked up at the ceiling and said "Thank you."

Clint look curiously at me and worryingly said "um...Nat. Who are you talking to?"

"JARVIS." I said, but he could understand me. I grabbed the pen and paper and wrote in huge letters 'JARVIS' and he finally got the picture that I wasn't talking to God.

"You needed me?" I heard the voice of Stark call from the elevator. Bruce was behind him, clipboard under his arm, and nervously smiling as usual.

They strode toward us as I replied "Yes, I need you-"

"Who doesn't?" He interrupted, knocking Clints shoulder with his hand. Clint scowled but I continued.

"I need you to tell me what is involved in fixing his hearing."

"Oh okay, well we just cut his ear off and-"

"WHAT?" Is he crazy? "YOU WANT TO CUT HIS FUCKING EAR OFF?" I saw Clint eyes widen slightly and he and I both gulped.

"That idea sounded better in my head."

"Not helping, Tony." Bruce said.

"It's the only way to reach the section of the ear drum that we need to operate on."

"Is it safe?" I asked.

"Is crossing the road safe?" He asked rhetorically.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Clint asked and Bruce and Tony furrowed their eyebrows.

"You can hear us?" Bruce asked.

"Lip reading training from SHEILD." He answered. "Now...I want the operation. Anything to hear the sound of your voices." He said, finishing his sentence looking at me.

"Well I do have a voice of an angel." Tony said.

"Not when it comes to singing." Bruce smirked.

"Hey! When have you heard my perfect singing voice?"

"You sing AC/DC while your work and it's far from perfect."

"GUYS!" I shouted drawing back their focus. "Can you two stop talking about how shit Tony's singing voice."

Tony shrugged and quietly defended "it's not shit."

"Shut up Tony." I said, glaring evilly, and he got the picture. "You want the operation?" I asked Clint.

He nodded. "I need to."

"Will it hurt him?" I asked the science bros as Tony insisted on calling them.

"He will be under sedation." Bruce answered. "He won't feel any pain during the operation. After the operation, there should be some time that the ear feel irritated and he should get some slight throbbing. Apart from that, he will be fine."

"Then you can go back to your usual routine of training, pretending to sleep and shagging each other."

I glared evilly at Stark and there a clipboard at his head. He screamed like a little girl and complained "Hey! Don't hit people who are fixing your boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes and took the medical notes from Banners hands and read the notes.

 _Name: Barton, Clinton Francis (Hawkeye)_

 _Profession: Avenger, SHIELD Agent - Level 7_

 _Status: Alive_

 _Received treatment from: Dr. Bruce Banner and Tony Stark_

 _Damage to patient caused by: explosion by exploding arrow - battle with HYDRA agents_

 _Damage to patient: multiple scratches across body, 2 fractured ribs, torn ideogal, windpipe slightly crushed, stab wound lower back_

"What an ideogal?" I asked.

"Part of the eardrum that has been torn. It affects both ears, stopping them from picking up sounds." Banner explained. I nodded and handed Banner his clipboard back. "His recovery should only take a couple of hours if everything goes smoothly."

"And when are you going to operate?"

"Now." Tony stated and wheeled Barton to the enclosed room on the other side of the infirmary.

 **I have completely and utterly made up the word 'ideogal' because I have not studied how the ear works :) Please review!**


	3. Apologies

**This chapter is slightly Captain Hill! Sorry about that, but who doesn't love a bit of Captain Hill! Check out my other Captian Hill story if you do like that sort of thing though! There will be another one of them to come!**

I waited outside the glass box that Clint was being operated in. The procedure was about to start and I couldn't help but feel nervous. Bruce had explained that the operation could have multiple repercussions that could result in harming him even more. If they cut a little too far, then it may damage his brain. But he agreed to the terms. _It's not your problem Romanoff. Stop worrying._ If I was religious, I would pray, but I don't believe in God. What kind of God would allow such disasters to happen on earth? Earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions and al the other shit that goes on in this world.

"Ready to proceed." I heard someone's voice say through the speakers outside the booth. Bruce was observing from the sidelines to avoid any more disasters. Tony was performing the main operation, because it was his technology being attached to Clint's ear. He was the most experience one in the world when it came to completing this operation which put me a little at ease. Just a little.

"Operating on Legalos now." Stark said. _He is such a prick._ Stark picked up a calpel and started to cut at his ear. Blood was pouring out of his ear at a rapid rate and I banged against the glass.

"STARK! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" I shouted at the idiot, my fists pounding agianst the box. _He's going to kill him. That much blood should not be coming out of his head._ Some of the nurses were rushing around, getting swobs to stop the flow of blood, but some were very distracted by me and my actions. _He doesn't know what the hell he is doing!_

"Romanoff, calm down!" Steve warned me, walking over to where I was stood outside.

I didn't listen to him and ran over to the door - the only thing between me and Clint. I opened it and ran over to Clint, pushing away all the medical staff as I walked over. I got to him, his ear dripping with blood. Stark tried to push me back, urgently saying "I need to finish injecting him to stop this!" as he tried to fend me off. It was then that I noticed the needle stuck into his neck and I stopped attacking Stark, but as soon as I stopped, a bleeping went off that signified that his heart was at critical. _What have I done?_

The monitor was flashing red and I stepped away from his body, letting Stark take over. "I'm sorry." I whispered to Clint, maybe even to Stark. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I repeated as a mantra, my voice almost none existent as I walked towards the glass wall and rested my back against it. I slid down the wall, onto the floor, as the sirens continued and the medical team tried to fix Clints condition. Stark finished injecting the substance into his neck, but the sirens continued.

"He's in too bad of a condition to continue with the procedure. Abort operation." Stark ordered as he took the empty needle out of Clints neck. Tony kept pressure on the ear with some kind of bandage and I just sat there whilst the doctors and nurses fixed my mistake.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I kept saying until Rogers eventually had to carry me out of the room. _How could I do this to him? He's been through enough! I didn't even mean to. I just wanted him to be out of harms way._

 **Half an hour later**

I was sitting on one of the science stools in the infirmary, staring at the opposite wall. The box was on my left, the box where Clint was bleeding, and the others were just talking in different sections of the room. Talking about something...anything. I would get involved in their pointless converstaions, but I didn't want to talk to anyone at the minute if it wasn't to do with Clint.

"That must be a really intersting wall." Steve said from behind me. He came and sat on the chair next to me, a sympathetic smile on his face.

"You here with an update?" I asked. It's the only thing that I am interested in.

"Yes." he said and I turned my head to face his.

"Is he going to be okay? How is his condition?" I asked, my voice at a normal pace and controlled.

"Stable." he answered and I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. "For now." he added and I furrowed my eyesbrows at Steve's sudden change in the outlook of his injury.

"For now?" I asked.

"Well...if you pull a stunt like you did half an hour ago again…" he started, but paused for a couple of seconds. Then he splutted out his emotions, like always. "What the hell were you thinking Romanoff? He could have died from your actions. I mean what came over you? You are never usually like this. Has something happened t-"

"ROGERS!" I interrupted. Steve may seem controlled but deep inside he isn't. He's got a chip on his shoulder that he can't shake. He has a wildfire within him that could explode at any moment, but he choses not to let it out. The punchbags he meets everyday get a slight glimpse at the real Steve, but no one else does. No one. Maybe Maria Hill will change that. They seem to be getting close at the minute, so hopefully she will change him.

He shook his head and said "I'm sorry." He put a hand on my shoulder and continued. "I didn't mean to be so questioning and accusational. It was only because you have been so out of character today."

"I agree." I said, thinking about how I would never do that if it wasn't Clint. "When will Stark be ready to operate?"

"When Stark feels ready." he answered. Me and Clint are partners. Always there for each other. That is the only reason why I am caring so much about this and I never care about anyone, so he had god damn better wake up soon. I turned my head to Steve.

"How are you and Maria?" I asked, trying to change the subject to something lighter and make me stop thinking about Clint. He turned his head to face me too and looked confused at me, even though his cheeks were going a light shade of red.

"What do you mean?" he asked and I smiled.

"Don't fool me Rogers. I've seen the way you smile when she laughs and that's all I need to tell."

"To tell what?"

"To tell that you like her." I answered and he defeatedly sighed, putting his head in his hands.

"There is no beating you Romanoff."

"No there isn't." I answered, smiling, and after a couple of seconds he turned his head to me and smiled too. "Sooo….what's going on with you two?" I asked again, trying to find out some gossip. I would never tell anyone I like hearing gossip. I like knowing what people are feeling so I can try and understand what people are like.

He looked back at where she stood looking through the glass at a lifeless Clint. "We get along really well. We are interested in the same things and treat each other mutually, which is probably the best thing. We understand what it's like to lose people." he said, gulping afterwards. "And we understand what it's like to recover from that. We also know how to take orders." he said, chuckling softly.

I smiled at him and said "I'm happy for you."

He shook his head, laughing, and said "We're not together yet, Romanoff."

"Yet?" I said suggestively and he laughed.

Hill came over curiously and asked "What are you two laughing about?"

"Nothing, nothing." Steve said, waving his hand.

"Oh come on. No one's been laughing since Clint got in here. You two have and I want to know what about." she said, smiling. Hill always did have a beautiful smile actually. She was a beautiful person on the outside and in her heart. I can understand why Roger's likes her so much. I was jealous of her when I first came here and to tell the truth I still am. She's beautiful, funny and very skilled in combat. Yes, I may be more skilled in combat than her, but she has the perfect balance of everything.

"No, I can't. Sorry." Steve said, smiling smugly, pulling me out of my jealous thoughts. Maria turned to me.

"Romanoff?" she asked.

"Steve was just saying that he has a huge crush on you and he would like to take you on a date." I replied, knowing that it would stur something up between them. Maria was taken back a bit by my comment and Steve just glared evilly at me, without Maria seeing.

"You...you did?" she asked, a smile beginning very smally on her face.

"N-no. No, I didn't say that to her. She's just being stupid." Steve said trying to cover his tracks and going very red in the face from embarassement.

Maria gazed at the floor and said disappointedly "Oh...right okay." She started to walk away, but Steve said "Wait!" She stopped and turned to him, Steve walking forward a couple of steps to meet her. "Look, I didn't say it when I was talking to Romanoff just then but...would you…..would you…"

"Would I what?" she asked, confused.

"Would you...like to...g-go on a date with me?" he asked. _Oh my God. I never thought that he would actually ask her._

"Your...not joking?" she asked, double checking that he was being serious.

"Of course not." he said softly. She nodded and tried to act cool about it. _God, she is so stupid sometimes._

"Cool. I mean...yeah sure." she replied, placing her hand on the desk, but accidentally knocking over a metal dish containing some metal surgical instruments. It clanged on the floor and a few surroudning people looked over. She quickly picked it up and Steve bent helped with the surgical equipment. "You don't have to." she said, gathering the stray pieces together.

"No, it's fine." he said, putting them in the bowl, along with the rest. He smiled at her as she placed it back on the table.

"I'll talk to you later about it then?" she asked, regaining her pride, although her cheeks were still pink.

"Sure." he replied, smiling at her. She smiled back and for a moment they were just standing there, looking into each others eyes. _I can never have that._ Maria snapped out of it, looking at me, and said "Goodbye Natasha."

She sauntered off, to look through the glass box at Clint again, and I noticed a little more sway in her hips than usual. Steve stood there for a moment, absorbing the fact that he just asked someone out, and then came to sit back down next to me.

"That went well." I said, smiling.

"Well?" he asked, looking slightly stressed. "Are you kidding?" he said angrily, through a whisper, so no one could hear.

"What's your problem?" I asked. I thought he would be grateful.

"I've never been on a date before in my life."

"And it's good that you've got one because you are nearly 100." I retorted and his jaw dropped slightly. He snapped it shut and turned the other way, his chair squeaking as he did. I rolled my eyes and looked forward again. _He is a child sometimes._

I heard his chair squeak again and he said "Thank you." in a calmer tone than before.

"That's alright." I replied and smirked at him. "Where are you going to take her?"

"There is a beautiful restaurant. 34th street. Small, but sweet." he said simply.

I nodded. "She'll like that."

 **I hope that you liked this chapter! Please review, favourite and follow :P**


	4. Playing Spies

**Hope you like this new chapter!**

A day later and Clint was being checked to see if he was ready to have the procedure again. Steve told me during the night "There is a chance that he could go into a coma." It was my fault, because the blood loss was from a vital section of his brain - a blood loss that I caused. Nothing was damaged, but it stopped the procuedure from going through. He had to wait even longer. He was unconcsious, but the scientists needed to make sure his vitals were stable before they proceeded. That's what they were doing right now.

Maria was quickly pacing in front of me, Pepper Steve and Thor. We were all waiting outside the box watching her walk backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards and backwards and

"Lady Hill, what troubles you to be pacing with such speed?" Thor asked. She stooped walking and turned to him.

"I'm sorry." she said and jumped up onto the table surface, but her nails tapped against the metal of it.

"Maria, what is wrong with you?" Pepper asked. "Are you worried about him?"

"How could I not be?" she said, quietly. "Natasha may mean more to him than I do, but I've known him for so much longer."

"I'm sure we mean the same amount to him." I said to her. We do mean the same. We must mean the same.

"It's like Clint thinks of you in the same way Rogers thinks of me." she said, obviously without thinking properly. She stopped herself and looked at Steve. "Uh you know what I mean!" she groaned, rolling her eyes, but both of their cheeks were flushing pink.

"Clint will be fine." Pepper reassured her.

"Uh...guys?" Bruce said, appearing around the door of the glass box. I stood up as he walked over.

"Is he ready for his procedre yet?" Maria asked.

"Yes." _Thank God._ "Stark's starting the procedure in a minute." he said and went back in the room.

"Does Lady Romanoff need to be restrained again?" Thor asked Steve quietly, but I heard and then smiled turning to him.

"No, I don't need to be restrained. I'm okay." I said, laughing slightly.

"I apologise, Lady Romanoff. I was only concerned about your safety." Thor explained.

"It is fine, Thor. I know." I said, smiling. He smield back and walked to the glass with all of us.

"I'm going to get some lunch while this happens. You guys want anything?" Pepper asked.

"No, thank you." I replied, similar to the other's answers. She left and our gaze returned to the glass box.

"Beginning procedure now." Stark said and started the process again, this time without me interrupting. Stark cut his ear off, which was pretty grusome, and inserted the plastic ear piece into his head. He repeted it with the other ear, stiched the ears back up and cleaned everything up. It was a pretty quick procedure and Stark came out saying "No emotional outbursts, hey Romanoff."

"Shut it Stark." I said. "Is he okay now? Can we see him?"

"Not just yet. Give it half an hour just to make sure everything is alright."

"Okay." I replied and looked through the glass at him. Thank goodness he was okay. I don't know what I would do without him. He's always been my partner and I would not have it any other way. We always cared and looked out for each other.

 **Two years ago**

 _"That turned out worse than expected." Clint said, sitting down on the bed that we share at the motel we were staying at. We had been on a mission taking out a druglord and Clint got hit. Shot in the arm - nothing major, but still painful._

 _"You can say that again." I smirked, going over to our bags._

 _"It's just not been a good day." Clint replied, hissing from the pain._

 _"No day is a good day." I said. I stopped collecting the medical equipment I needed and added "Not any more." I brought the supplies over to him and started wiping away the blood with a cloth that was dipped in water, so I could find the exact spot of the bullet. Thank goodness there was no exit wound._

 _"Do you ever think that we'll stop?" Clint asked me as I injected the pain relief into his arm, wincing as I did._

 _"Stop what?"_

 _"Stop this. Playing spies or whatever." he said, even though he knew what we both were. Whether S.H.I.E.L.D wanted to brand us as spies or agents...we would always be the assassins that killed hundreds._

 _"We're here to do a job. We're here until that job is done."_

 _"And when will that be?" he asked, which stooped me a little._

 _After a second, I replied "Who knows." in a serious tone._

 _"It's good that we are doing the job till it's done though." he said._

 _"I agree. The civilians need protection." I said. He shook his head. Is that not what he meant?_

 _"No, I mean us. We are doing it together." h said smiling. "We work better together."_

 _I smiled and replied "I agree with that too." I picked up the extraction tool and asked "Ready?"_

 _"Nope." he answered, groaning slightly._

 _"Bad luck." I said, slowly pushing the metal into his skin. He shouted multiple swear words and I felt bad about doing it, but he had to get better._

 **Present day**

I saw Bruce leave the room and I met him at the door. "Can I see him now?" I asked.

"He needs to be woken up and I think that it's best if it is you instead of a doctor." he replied.

"Thanks you Dr. Banner." I replied, smiling, and he let me through the door. Clint was lying there, his body now void of any blood. As I got closer, I could see the little stitches on his head, from where the ear had been stitched back on. I placed my hand on the side of his face and stroked it, trying to wake him up as I sat down on the side of his bed.

"Clint?" I said and stroked his cheek a little harder.

"Tasha?" he said weakly, his voice a little croaky.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good. Great actually. You sound so clear."

"Thank God. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Look, we've been over this." he said, sitting up. "It wasn't your fault about me getting hit in the explosion okay? And I can hear you. That's all I need." _That's all he needs?_

"Yeah, I know, but...I caused you to bleed even more."

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"You had two operations. Well half operations. The first one didn't go as well as the second."

"What happened?"

"The first time...Stark started cutting at your ear, but I…" I looked down at the ground. "I stormed into the room and tried to them away from you and it…" I shook my head. "It just made things worse. You bled even more and-"

"Tash!" he said, taking my hand in his. "It's fine. I'm all better now. At least I can hear you." he said, smirking.

"Thank goodness for that." I said. "I don't know what I'd do if-"

Suddenly, the lights went down and I couldn't see anything. "Oh my God, Clint! What the fuck is going on?" I asked, as I reached out to find him.

"JESUS TASH!" he shouted and I thought I touched somewere 'innappropriate'. "God, your hands are freezing." he said, putting me slightly at ease.

"Shit." I whispered, stressing slightly at the situation.

"What do we do?" Clint asked.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, i'm feeling okay. Okay to kill for sure."

"There is a gun outside in the infirmary and I have one on me." I said, grabbing his hand. "Lets go." I whispered loudly and rushed out of the glass doors.

"At least the emergency back up is on." Clint said, referencing to the emergency light on the cieling. We made our way to the desk.

"Here." I said, grabbing the gun underneath it and handing it to him. "Where are the others?"

"Natasha? Clint?" I heard a small voice say. "Is that you?"

"Maria?"

"Yeah, it's us." she replied.

"Who is _us_?" Clint asked.

"Me, Stark, Steve and Thor." she answered.

"Where are you?"

"Behind a desk near the doors." she said and we slowly made our way over.

"OW!" I heard Clint say.

"What?"

"Table."

"Idiot." I replied as we made our way towards the door. I got out my phone and pressed the lock button. I shined it across the room and saw them hiding there.

"Clint?" Maria said and ran towards us. She stood infront of him for a second and then put her hands on each side of his face, stroking it. "Thank God you're okay."

"Come 'ere." he said, wrapping her in his arms tightly. "You doing alright?"

"I'm alright now!" she said and then pulled back. "Now what the hell is going on?"

"There's been a security breach." Bruce explained. "Someone's hacking the system."

"How the fuck did they hack my system?" Stark said.

"Shut up Stark!" Maria shouted. "That's not the question we should be asking. The question is why did they hack your system? Why did they make the blackout happen? What do they want?"

At that moment, there was a woman's ear piercing scream from another floor. "Pepper?" I heard Stark whisper. I knew that Tony was a bit of a man whore...okay more than a bit, but I could see that he genuinely cared for Virginia. My phone light was still on and lighting up everyone's faces...including Stark's. He was worried about her. "Where's Pepper?" he asked.

"She...she went to get her lunch." Maria said.

"And you let her go alone?" he asked.

"Hey!" Steve said. " We didn't know that this was going to happen."

"You still shouldn't have let her go."

"It's your defense system!"

"GUYS!" Clint shouted. "Shut it! We need to go and get her. Now, who has guns? Me and Tash have one each."

"I have 15 knives on me too."

"15?" Thor asked.

"What? I need to be prepared."

"Thor? Do you have your hammer?" Steve asked.

"Yes, Man of America." Thor answered and I heard the sound of his hammer flying through the room. My phone showed him catch his hammer and then he asked "What other weapons do people have? Lady Hill?"

"I have 6 guns on me, 7 knives and 2 hand grenades." she answered casually. Everyone was surprised apart from me and Clint.

"Where do they fit?" Steve asked.

"Watch it." she said, smiling, and I could almost feel the fire coming off of Steve's face. The red would be visible even without the light from my phone. Radiant.

"Well I don't have any weapons obviously." Bruce said.

We chuckled and then turned to Steve. "I have my shield." he answered, tapping his back where his shield was kept. "1 gun in my holster and a knife."

"That all?" I asked.

"I never needed anymore than the shield and that."

"Okay. Stark?" I asked, but I didn't realise that he was already half way suited up.

"I need to find Pepper." he said, the final piece setting into place - the mask that covers his face.

"Here." Maria said, her back turned to us. She faced us and had 7 torches in her hands. She handed them out and Steve commented "You are a genius." She smiled and handed him the final torch.

"Ear pieces." Stark said, motioning to the wall. In every room we had a set of comms just in case we needed them. Thank goodness we decided to do that. Tony already had one in his suit, so he didn't need to put one in.

"Okay. Lets go." Steve ordered and we all went up the stairs, towards the top floor, trying to seek out Pepper and anyone else in the building.

 **I hope that you liked this chapter. :P Please review!**


	5. Knives

**Previously**

" **Okay. Lets go." Steve ordered and we all went up the stairs, towards the top floor, trying to seek out Pepper and anyone else in the building.**

As we made our way upstairs, I had a nauseating feeling. This was a very bad idea. Someone broke into the Avengers Tower and we have no clue how. This has never happened before.

"Okay." Steve said when we got to the door. "Spread out. Getting Pepper is the priority. When she's safe, and only when she is safe, get the intruder. Let's go." He opened the door and we spread out, searching for Pepper. I made my way down the side of the hall, a torch in my hand, along with one of my guns.

"I've found her." Stark said, relief in his voice.

"Tony?" I heard Pepper's voice over the comms.

"I'm here. I'm here." he said. I could hear them kissing each other and I stopped walking. I smiled at their happiness and thought _I wish I had that, but I can't._ I shook my head, trying to shake away my thoughts too, and tightened the grip on my gun again. However, before I could take another step forward I felt a sharp pain in my neck. _Shit._

"Make a move and you die." a low familiar male voice said from behind me. I came to the realisation that he was holding me a knife at my throat. My right hand went straight to the one that was grasping the knife, trying to hold it back, and my left hand was restrained my his left hand, as if in a metal vice.

"Bucky." I said, not even needing to ask who it was, and I heard him chuckle from behind me.

"Ah so you do remember my voice?"

"How could I forget?" I said, spitefully.

He chuckled again and said "Well, I am very memorable. Lets cut to the chase. You will come back to me…" he said, tightening the hold of me using his knife and his hand to restrain my hand going to the other weapons he knew I had. "or...you can say goodbye to your life Miss Romanova."

"Bucky?" I heard Steve ask, but Bucky didn't reply. _I forgot that there were comms right now._

I scowled at him using my real name and tried to get my hand out of his metal grasp, but he was too strong. I quickly moved my other hand to reach for one of my knives, but he intercepted me by grabbing my hand with his metal arm, the one that was holding my left. By doing that, he pulled the arm he was already holding, dislocating it. I screamed out and we both knew that the others would be able to hear me.

His lips came up close to my ear and he whispered into the comms "Now you Avengers listen to me. I am taking the Black Widow out of here without any of you stopping me. If you even try and stop me…" He pressed the knife further into my neck and I whimpered slightly not being able to speak. "I think you know what will happen to her if you do." My throat felt like it was burning and I could feel the blood trickling down my neck.

"Don't touch her!" a voice came through the earpiece.

"Who's that? Is that the oh so famous Hawkeye?" Bucky chuckled.

"You bet your ass it is." Clint said and I could tell he was saying it through gritted teeth.

"Well...I'll tell you what Hawkeye...this…" he said, pushing the blade even further, making me groan slightly. I could feel the blood pour down my collarbone and chest. "This...is what I will do to all of you...until your head...is sliced….clean...off." he finished, pushing the blade even further against me. _If he keeps going, my head will be sliced cleaned off._ "I will do this to everyone...apart from you Hawk. I've got something...special….lined up for you. I will sit you infront of Natalia Romanova here."

"Don't call her that." he said, spitefully.

He paused for a moment and then began again. "I will sit you infront of Natalia Romanova here...and then you will watch...while I slice her up...limb...by...limb…" he said, chuckling when he finished. Bucky may not have heard it, but I could hear Clint breahting heavily through the ear piece.

"You getting a little sweaty there, Hawkeye?"

"I am gonna kill you…" he said. "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" I heard his voice echo through the building.

"Oh I don't think so. See I don't think you can even find me in this dark lit-" Suddenly, the 'Winter Soldier' let go of my wrists and caught Steve's shield, which was thrown at him. I heard a clang as Bucky dropped it on the floor and I elbowed his stomach, unfortunately causing him to slice my throat as he withdrew his arm. I fell to the floor, cluching my throat to stop the flow of blood, but it still poured through my fingers. I noticed that the lights were flickering back on and Steve was running towards me. I was in so much pain. _God, i'm gonna leave Clint behind and I've only just got him back._

"I've found Widow." Steve said, over the comms, still sprinting towards me.

"Anyone got sight on Barnes?" Tony asked.

"No, he's gone." Steve said, hurrying over to my side.

"Mr. Barnes is not currently located in this building." JARVIS said, over the comms.

"Start a trace on him." Tony ordered.

"Oh my God. Tony, we need to get her down to medical right now!" Steve ordered.

Clint came running round the corner and over to me. "SHIT! I am going to kill him." He stroked my hair as Tony came rushing over, which calmed me slightly, even though I was dying.

"Thor, get her to the medical room now!" Tony ordered, half picking my up, but Thor came over and fully picked me up bridal style. My neck was bleeding out and I could hardly breathe, my lungs filling up with blood too. We took the lift down and Stark said something about super speed for the elevator. Even though I was being held by Thor, Clint seemed to stroke my head the whole time. We got down to the medical floor, I think, and Thor probably placed me down on one of the beds. I could feel my eyes shutting and I suddenly felt very tired.

"Come on Tasha." Clint whispered, as someone pressed something against my neck. I guessed that Bucky had cut into my windpipe, because the blood was continuing to seep into my lungs.

"Natasha?" Clint asked. It was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

 **Sometime later**

 _Ow. What the hell is that? Is that a boa constricta around my neck, because that's what it feels like!_ I slowly took a breath, if you could even call it a breath, and started choking uncontrollably. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Clint searching frantically for something. _What is he looking for?_ I could see he relaxed, obviously finding the thing that he was looking for, and came a bit closer to me. Our faces were very close as he propped up my bed, so I could sit up.

"Here." he said, passing me a cup of water and sitting on the bed next to me.

I drank the water quickly, suddenly feeling a sudden quench for thirst, but it burned my throat as I did. However, my stomach felt better as I did drink it, so I carried on, regardless of the pain in my throat. I stopped coughing and placed the cup back down on the side.

"What happened?" I said...or tried to say. As I said it, I heard no words. Nothing. "Wha…" I said again, but not even a whisper came out of my throat. "I don't…" I said. Nothing. No sound. What the fuck is going on? " **What's happened to me?"** I mouthed.

"Don't freak out okay?" he asked and I nodded. "Your throat needs a few days to heal, because of the damage that twat did to you." Clint said, angrily. _He's always so controlled, so why is he so different right now?_

" **How many hours have I been under?"**

"Just…" He bit his lip, knowing that I wouldn't like the answer. "A couple of days."

" **Days?"** I mouthed, shocked. " **I've been under for 'just' a couple of days?"**

"Well, the bleeding from your neck was pretty bad. The damage to your neck was extreme and we had to make sure it was properly healed. He cut through your skin and trachea." He shook his head and whispered "I was so worried about you."

I caught his hand and squeezed it. " **Don't be"** I mouthed, smiling. He turned his head and was about to say something else, but someone entered the room. Tony came in, staring at his iPad, followed by Bruce and Maria.

" **Is Pepper okay?"** I mouthed and Clint nodded.

"Pepper's fine. Isn't she Tony?" he said, catching the billionaire's attention.

"Yeah, Pepper's great. She's already back in my bed and we-"

"No more information thanks!" Bruce said, holding up one of his hands.

"Agreed." Hill said and came over to sit on the other side of the bed. "You okay?" she asked quietly.

I nodded and mouthed " **For now".** She smiled and said "We can't trace James Buchannon Barnes." Just the name gave me chills. "But we all know that you know something about him." She raised an eyebrow. "Please don't say that I have to interrogate you to get the information that we need."

" **Don't worry about it."** I looked over at Clint who was now stroking my hand, which was very distracting. " **Are you sure you want to be here for this?"**

He nodded. "Yeah why?"

" **It's...personal."** I mouthed and he knew what I meant. He still nodded though.

"Are you stable enough to walk, because we should really be discussing this all together." Maria said and I mouthed " **Yes".** Stupid voice box.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." Maria said to Clint.

"Thanks. I'm just glad everyone is okay." Clint said and she agreed. They hugged and I didn't feel jealous exactly. Their relationship is just a friendship, but I've never been that close with Clint, because I'm not as open as Maria and even Maria is not open with a lot of people. She is very cold and controlling, but of course it is what her job description required when she was the deputy head of S.H.I.E.L.D. She has been getting on with Steve quite well recently...maybe I should talk with her about their date.

Once I got up to the living room, I saw food on the table and walked quickly towards it. It must've been morning because there was toast and other fruit on the table. And waffles with golden syrup. "You want waffles?" Clint asked. He knows all my favourite foods. I nodded, not wanting to mouth anything if I didn't have to. Once Clint made me the waffles, we all sat down around the table, Thor on his tenth box of poptarts. I really don't know how he does that.

" **Okay…"** I started. " **About 22 years ago, I was recruited for an agency called the Red Room."** I place a small piece of waffle in my mouth, knowing that I wouldn't be able to swallow a bigger piece. Even though it was only tiny, it still hurt. I decided to give up and pushed the place of waffles away from me. _Damn it, I want waffles._

"What did you say?" Pepper asked to which Clint replied "She said that 30 years ago, she was recruited for an agency called the Red Room."

"Ah okay."

" **They trained me to be the assassin that I was."**

"What?" Stark asked.

"She said that the Red Room trained her to be the assassin that she was." He sighed and I was about to continue when Clint said "Look, I will act as a translator, because I can lip-read the best. Hawkeye remember! Okay?" We all nodded and I continued.

" **James Buchannan Barnes was one of the trainers there."**

"She was trained by Bucky there."

"But how is that possible?" Steve asked. "Bucky was frozen in ice and then brought back to life by HYDRA only a couple of years ago."

" **The Red Room developed a serum that could stop ageing. There was only one trial run of it and it only worked with Barnes' blood, like the super soldier serum only worked with yours Steve."**

"The Red Room developed this serum that could stop the ageing process. One injection that only worked with Bucky's blood, like it only worked with Steve's." Steve nodded, but I could see the look in his eyes. He was disappointed that he didn't find Bucky sooner.

" **So he trained me and we got very close."**

"Bucky trained her and they got close to each other." Clint said, almost straining out his words, which I found suspicious, but obviously I couldn't say anything to him because no one else would understand me and questions would be raised..

" **We ended up getting married in secret without the Red Room knowing."** I could see his eyes building with anger as I went on. " **Sleeping with someone else is against the rules, so marriage is basically a death certificate handed to you instead of a certificate of marriage."**

He cleared his throat and spat out "They got married in secret. Sleeping with someone is against the rules without their knowledge, so marrying someone...basically results in death."

" **The Red Room found out and he was taken away from me. They said they would have killed me if it wasn't for my useful skills."**

"They found out and Bucky was taken from her. They would've killed her if it weren't for her skill set." I've never told him about this and I'm kind of regretting telling him now.

" **However, a couple of days later he got out. Went on a killing rampage in the facility. Killed trainers, prisoners, other Red Room candidates...one of those being my sister."**

"He got out...went on a kiling spree which killed the trainers, prisoners and other candidates. One of those candidates...was her sister." he said, trying to remain calm. He knew that I had a sister in the facility and he knew that she was killed in there, but he didn't know by who. I bet he hates Bucky even more now that he knows that. The other people in the room were silent, even Stark for a change.

" **He had changed and I knew I couldn't be with him any longer. I saw the fire in his eyes and couldn't stand another second with him. Not that he killed her."**

"He had changed and she couldn't be with him any longer, not that he killed her sister." Clint explained.

" **So I shot him in the chest when I got the chance. And let the trainers take him away. It also proved my loyalty to them. It was a win win situation. They told me he was dead. That's how I got my name."**

"She shot him and the trainers took him away, proving her loyalty to them. They said that he was dead. That's how she got her name."

" **I thought he was dead until about six years ago when I saw him when I was covering someone on a mission. Plane crash. Then, again, when we"** I said, looking at Steve. " **were fugitives from S.H.I.E.L.D."**

"She thought that he was dead until about six years ago when she saw him when she was covering someone in a plane crash. When Steve and Natasha were fugitives from S.H.I.E.L.D, she knew that it wasn't a lie. That confirmed it that he was definitely alive."

" **He came after Steve, because he saw us together in the car when I picked him up from running with Sam. He must've thought that I was with him. I thought I saw him, but I stupidly dismissed it."**

"Bucky came after Steve when you were fugitives, because he saw you two together in a car when she was picking him up from running with Sam, when you two had a mission. She thought that she saw him, but dismissed it." He didn't use the word stupidly. "Bucky must have thought that she was with Steve."

"Me and Romanoff?" Steve asked, chuckling slightly.

"What are you trying to say?" Clint asked angrily.

"Uh nothing...nothing." he said, nervously and then I continued.

" **After that, I think he wants me back. The way he looked at me and smiled when we were battling...it wasn't anger. It was pain."**

"After that, she thinks that he wants her back. He smiled at her as if he were in pain and not anger."

"Maybe he was in pain." Stark said, shrugging.

"You know what she means idiot." Clint snapped.

"How do I know what she means? I can't even hear her."

" **Fuck you Stark."** I mouthed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that." I just stuck my middle finger up at him and I think he then understood what I meant.

 **Yes, so Bucky is evil (Sorry Sebastian Stan fans)! I really like Bucky actually, but I thought it would go quite well with the story, so I just rolled with it :P Hope you liked the backline that I put in there are her sister and how Steve was being tracked by Bucky, when they were fugitives, because Bucky thought Steve was with him. Also, the serum that I said was administered to Bucky was actually administered to Black Widow, in the 1930s (I think), to keep her young and beautiful. Just thought that I would add it in.**

 **Please review :)**


	6. Mission

**Hi guys :) Thanks for the reviews! I'm uploading a Steve and Maria fic tomorrow and will be updated that maybe once every week, but my others should be more regular than that! Have fun reading :)**

After we discussed what happened to me in the red room, we all went out separate ways, but I noticed Clint going off in a rampage. He got into the lift, looking at the ground, and I just watched the elevator doors shut.

 **"JARVIS?"** I mouthed and he still picked up the fact that I was saying something, or at least trying to say something.

"Yes, Miss Romanoff."

 **"Where is Clint going?"**

"I believe he is going to the gym, Miss Romanoff."

 **"Thank you JARVIS."**

"You're welcome, Miss Romanoff."

I took the stairs down to the gym and looked through the door, before entering. He was punching a boxing bag, almost as hard as Steve does, and that was pretty impressive. I opened the door, but Clint didn't seem to notice. He had headphones in and was too concentrated on hitting the bag to notice me enter. I walked over to him, my light feet making almost no sound, and tapped him on the shoulder, just as light as my footsteps. He swung round, almost pulling his arm back to punch, but stopped himself quickly, putting his arm back down by his side.

"Hey." he said and I smiled. "What is it?" he asked.

 **"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"** I asked and he sighed. He undid the boxing gloves and placed them underneath the punch bag. Walking over to the benches, near the drinks, I noticed him shaking his head slightly. I sat down on the bench, whilst he got this drink, but he joined me after he had a couple of large gulps. The sweat on his forehead was trickling down his face, but he didn't bother to wipe it away.

Sitting down next to me, he explained "You never told me about your sister. I just find it so irritating that you never told me."

 **"Why would I ever tell you?"**

"Because i'm your best friend Natasha." he said loudly, throwing his hands up in the air. "I've told you everything. I told you about my past, my brother, all relationships that i've had and you didn't even have the courtesy to mention that you slept with Bucky."

 **"That's what this is about? Bucky?"** I asked, slightly shocked that he was so...jealous, it seemed.

"You got married to the guy, for Christ sakes! Surely that's important. It's not on your file. I mean, Fury doesn't know about that does he?" he shouted and I stayed silent. "FURY KNOWS?" he shouted. "Fury fucking knows but you decided not to tell your best friend." I ignored the emotion word of 'best friend'.

 **"Fury found a document at the Red Room when he raided it! I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I feel quite bad about it."**

"Oh well that's okay if you feel quite bad about it then all is forgiven." he said sarcastically, in a stupid voice.

 **"I'm sorry."** I mouthed, putting a hand on his shoulder. **"I wanted to tell you, but Fury told me not to tell you specifically in case it jeopardised future missions."**

"And when he came back officially...when I told Cap that there was a tracker in his suit and he was a fugitive from S.H.I.E.L.D...why didn't you say anything?"

 **"We wanted Rogers to figure out his issues with Bucky by himself."** I explained. **"Bucky came after me because he wanted me back in his life i'm guessing."** Clint took a moment to collect his senses and he put his head in his hands. **"i'm sorry I hurt you."** I said to myself, knowing that he wouldn't hear me. **"I would never hurt you on purpose."**

"I'm sorry I over-reacted." he whispered and turned his head to me. "You had to stay quiet and I know it's personal to you. I'm sorry." I just shook my head at that.

 **"I never meant to hurt you."**

"I know." he said, his voice still quiet. "I'm sorry about your sister." he said, holding my hand in his. "I never thought about how that must affect you."

 **"There was nothing to think about beforehand because you didn't know. I just get on with my life, trying to forget about everything. But James' visit brought it all back into my head."**

"This shoudn't have happened to you."

 **"I think I can deal with a knife to the throat."** I said. Is he insulting me or something?

"I mean everything. The red room, Bucky, your sister's death. You don't deserve that." he said, standing up, looking at the opposite wall.

 **"I do."** I said to myself and then went to ask him if he wanted to spar. Luckily he did and we didn't bring it up again.

 **1 day later**

Maria Hill was sitting in the living room, reading the newspaper, and taking notes on something. I walked over, tapped her shoulder, startling her slightly, and asked " **What are you researching?"**

"I'm looking at the papers from around the world containing information on the Avengers and taking down notes about what they dislike about us. That means that we can publicise the Avengers improving on what the world thinks is bad about them."

 **"Good plan."** I replied and sat down next to her, picking up a paper. **"Want me to help?"**

She looked at me curiously and asked "What do you want?"

 **"I was just wondering how you and Steve were doing."** I said, innocently.

She kept her face stoic and replied "Nothing is going on with me and Mr. Rogers." I could see a blush rising on the surface of her cheeks.

 **"You're blushing."** I mouthed.

"It's quite hot in here."

 **"I'm not blushing."**

"That doesn't prove anything." she argued and turned the page of her paper.

 **"I can see you have a thing for him."**

"Did you just say a thing?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

 **"Do you like him?"** I asked and she looked down at the coffee table.

"It wasn't my intention to." she said and then explained. "I didn't even like the Avengers Initiative in the beginning. I thought he was in the wrong time zone and didn't deserve to be here...that none of them did." She looked up at me. "But then I got to know him and I understood what he felt. I click with him you know?"

 **"I wouldn't know that feeling, but I understand what you're talking about."** I answered. **"How was the date?"**

She smiled and replied "It was wonderful."

 **"Really?"** I asked.

"Yeah. He was wonderful."

 **"Wait...did you guys have sex?"**

"What! No! I'm not that easy. Also, he's Captain America. It takes more than just a date for him to sleep with someone."

 **"You sound disappointed."** I said, smirking, and she hit my arm lightly.

"Shut up."

 **"So, what did happen?"**

"He took me to this beautiful cafe and we had dinner and drinks there. I had to explain to him what a frapachino was. It was quite funny."

 **"What did you order?"** I said, but she couldn't see me, because she was staring out into nowhere, so she just continued and I let her. "We sat down at a table next to the window and I told him where everywhere was." She turned to me. "He said he would try and remember the names, but the city seemed so big to him. We both had fish for our dinner and water for our drink. We talked about S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers and you and Clint and-"

 **"Wait, wait, wait..."** I interrupted and she was looking at me, so she saw me stop the conversation. **"Me and Clint. Why were you talking about me and Clint? You make it sound like as if we're together. We're not a couple."**

"You're not a couple yet." she said, smiling, and then continued to talk about the topics they discussed. The list seemed endless, but I was more focussed on a certain topic they discussed...me and Clint? There was no me and Clint. Maybe as partners yes, but as a couple...definitely not. I see him more like a...well not a brother but a really close friend who I would tell everything to if I could. _Why is considering him as a brother be weird?_ I questioned to myself, but got drawn back to Maria's date. "So after dinner, we went to the park and he told me I was beautiful. We sat down on one of the benches and kissed for a little bit." she revealed, trying to hold back her excitement.

 **"You guys kissed?"** I asked.

"Yep." she said, popping the 'p'.

 **"That's great!"** I said. I raised my eyebrow and asked **"Did you get up to anything else?"**

"Let me continue with the story." she said, smirking, and I nodded. "So we kissed on the bench and then walked back to the Avengers Tower. No one seemed to notice us which was good. Anyway, we arrived back and he asked if I wanted to go to his room."

 **"What?"** I said, outstanded that Rogers would be so direct.

"Not like that. He didn't mean to sound as if we were going to have sex and he got all embarrassed about it actually. It was quite funny." she said, laughing to herself. "Anyway, I went over to his place and we sat cross-legged on his bed for a bit talking about how Stark spends way too much money on room service, but we were both grateful for the accommodation he offered us. We talked more for a while and then we were just sitting there silently looking into each others eyes and I couldn't take it. I leaned forward and kissed him again." she said excitedly, like before. "He lay on his back and I straddled his waist, while taking off his shirt. I started grinding against him and-"

 **"Woah, woah."** I stopped her. **"Too much information for the moment thank you."** _Does Steve even know the meaning of grinding?_

"Sorry." she said, shrugging. "Anyway, after doing that for a bit, I lay down next to him and we just cuddled for a bit before I retired to my room. See, nothing that bad."

 **"Yeah. Nothing that bad, because you didn't say the details."** I smirked.

"That was the last time that I saw him." she said, upset.

 **"Well, when did you have your date?"**

"Last night." she replied and I decided to look at my watch.

 **"And what time did you stop dry humping him and go to bed."**

"About 2:43am."

 **"There is no 'about' about it and also you've only been gone from him for about three hours."** It was 5:37 in the morning.

"I know, but I still miss him." she moaned, throwing the newspaper on the floor in frustration. "We didn't label anything by the way. We couldn't even if we wanted to considering we are under S.H.I.E.L.D's radar. It's so irritating."

 **"Maria, you need to go and get some sleep okay?"** I asked and she agreed, knowing that she was tired from all the drama. She headed over to the door that lead to the rooms, but turned back and thanked me.

"You're a really good friend. You know that?" she said, smiling, and I just smiled back. I've never really had many friends.

She was walking out the door when I said "You're welcome.", but I kicked myself, because I couldn't say it out loud. Once she left I headed down to the gym and began punching out my frustrations of not being able to speak.

 **2 days later**

 **"This is so irritating."** I mouthed.

"Look, i'm really sorry that you have to stay with us whilst we go on the mission, but how are you meant to communicate with us. You can't speak." Clint explained, handing me an earpiece. "Comms check?" he asked, through the earpiece. I nodded and got into position.

"You ready?" he asked and I nodded. _Today, The Avengers are fighting the terrifying forces of evil who would surely ground them down to dust._ What bullshit! We were going into a, hopefully full, warehouse, that could contain Bucky Barnes. We had been following a trail for a few hours and I don't even know how to supplied the evidence that got us here.

"Ready to go Cap." Clint said into the earpiece.

"Roger that." he said.

"Does no one find it funny that Roger that has the word Roger's in it?"

 **"Tell him to shut up."** I mouthed to Clint.

"Tasha says to shut your fucking face." Clint said.

"Jesus arrows! Calm it!" Tony replied.

"Look, lets just go okay? Three...two...one...GO!" he said and me and Clint sprinted into the complex, guns in our hands, pointed at whatever moved. However, nothing did move. The building was empty.

"Nothing from this side Steve." Clint whispered into the comms.

"Wido...s-sorry...I meant Thor?" Steve said. I feel so stupid. I could do this mission on my own, but no we have to go in as a team now.

"No midgardian dectected." he answered.

"Stark?"

"I'm not reading any heat signatures, but they could have things to mask that."

"Keep moving through the base. See anything and you report it." Steve ordered and we continued to walk through.

i saw an old door, but the door handle was shiny meaning it was recently used. I signalled to Clint that we should split. "Bad idea Tasha." He warned.

 **"We can cover more ground that way and there is no one here. We are only going to find artefacts."** I mouthed. I pointed to a door. **"It's only on there."**

Clint considered it for a second before saying "I'll check with Steve first." He said. He clicked his earpiece and said "Steve, me and Nat are gonna split up. That okay?"

"As long as she stays inside the warehouse and near you."

"She will." Clint replied, answering for me. "Be careful." He said with care. "Meet me back here in five." He disappeared down a corridor and I headed towards the door.

I tightened the grip on my gun and wrapped my hand around the cold door handle. I slowly turned it clockwise, it creaked as I did, and pushed it open slowly. I pushed it fully open and looked into the dark room, gun ready. The room contained a desk against the back wall, a couple of shelves with random documents on them and a wooden chair. There was rubbish scattered across the floor and an overflowing bin in the corner. I walked over to the shelf and looked at some of the documents.

 **Itsy bitsy spider climbed up the waterspout,**

 **Out came the rain and washed the spider out.**

 **But instead of the sun drying up the rain,**

 **The spider decided that she couldn't take the pain.**

 **So she drowned in the floods that came ahead,**

 **And now that black widow spider is dead.**

This was really weird. This was either a creepy primary school that taught death rhymes or someone put this here to warn us.

I read another and the same poem was there.

And another.

They were the same. All of them the same. I sifted through more and more on the shelf and not one single piece of paper had a different word on it. I collected some of the identical papers and put the in a small pocket that I had. I walked towards the desk and noticed a box there. This is getting weirder and weirder. It was the only thing that was on the desk and it was perfectly aligned and parallel with the table. I can't exactly call it in to the others because I couldn't speak.

I placed a finger on the side of the box and slowly lifted up the metal lid.

I noticed a little set of red numbers decreasing from 15. Shit! I began to run and the box started counting the numbers out loud.

 **10** Oh fuck! I can't **9** ring them so let's create a warning **8** I got my gun and shot **7** 5 gun shots which is mine and Clints signal **6** "EVERYONE GET OUT! NOW!" Clint shouted, getting the message. **5** Whilst I was running, I saw Clint up ahead. **4** "CLINT!" I said but obviously I have no fucking words. I could not longer hear the countdown as I escaped through the exit. So that meant that any minute now the bomb could-

I heard someone shout as I was thrown forward into the grass outside. I looked back and saw the building parts started to topple over. I quickly got up and sprinted away from the falling debris. A piece landed right next to me and I ran even faster.

"Natasha?" Clint shouted and I looked over to him. Thank goodness he's okay. He rushed over and hugged me in a safe spot away from the fire lit building. His arms wrapped tightly around me and he whispered "Thank God you're okay." relief filling his words. He pulled back and asked "what happened?" Before I could answer, the others flew over and landed on the ground, Cap being carried by Thor. Tony lifted up his face mask, his angry expression underneath.

"What the hell was that Clint?" Tony asked Clint.

"It's was Tash." He froze slightly and then nodded.

"Right." He said and then turned to me. "What the hell was that Natasha?"

"She was just about to explain." Clint said.

"Let us listen to what the lady has to say before conclusions are jumped to my friends." Thor said, trying to calm everyone down. We all took a moment to breathe before I started to explain.

 **"I was in that separate room that I split to and I saw some files on the side."** I pulled the files out and handed them to them.

"She said that she was in a separate room that she split into and saw some files at the side." Clint translated.

 **"Then I noticed a box neatly lain on the desk. It had a bomb in it evidentially."**

"There was a box on the desk that was laid there neatly and it contained a bomb obviously." Clint said, gesturing to the building.

 _"Shit."_ Bruce said, through the comms.

"What?" Tony asked.

" _You just blew up that warehouse."_ Bruce said.

"Yeah...so?" he said, as if it didn't bother.

 _"Did you not just hear what I said?"_

"Yeah...so?"

" _YOU JUST BLEW UP A WAREHOUSE!"_

"Calm down Bruce." Cap warned and Banner took a breath.

"What's the problem?" Tony asked.

" _What's the problem is that you just blew up a warehouse. That's gonna cost loads."_

"Is it though?"

Everyone was quiet for a second. "Oh yeah. You're a billionaire." I said and he nodded smugly.

"So all you found were the documents?" Clint asked.

"Yes." I answered, not sounding disappointed or happy about it.

"Okay...anyone else?" he asked. They all shook their heads. "Bruce, can you trace these files or something?"

 _"I can try my best."_ he answered over the comms.

"Okay, we need to get back. Lets go." Steve said.

"Tony, order someone to clean this shit up as you usually do." Clint said casually, as we headed towards the helicarrier.

 **Please review this piece of writing! Thank you :)**


	7. Understand?

**Just a warning I will be updating less now that school has started - maybe once or twice a week over all stories.**

 **Previously:**

 **"Bruce, can you trace these files or something?"**

 ** _"I can try my best."_** **he answered over the comms.**

 **"Okay, we need to get back. Lets go." Steve said.**

 **"Tony, order someone to clean this shit up as you usually do." Clint said casually, as we headed towards the helicarrier.**

 **"Come on!"** I mouthed. Bruce and Tony were running a trace on the paper - it's origin, the style of writing, the type of ink. Everything they could.

"Patience Romanoff." Stark said, holding up his hand to silence me, without even needing to. Fucking voice box. Wh

"She does have a point." Clint said. "This is taking a while."

"Of course you would agree with your girlfriend Hawk."

 **"Shut up!"** I 'said' giving him a death glare.

"She is not my girlfriend, Stark." Barton insisted, but he didn't sound right saying it.

"Whatever love birds." He said

"We are not like that."

 **"Love is for children."** I mouthed and I could've sworn Clint huffed as I said it.

"It's unprofessional." Clint said, as I mouthed the same thing also. We looked up at each other and then away. This table looks so interesting.

"See!" Stark shouted. "You two are so in sync."

"Stark, unless you want to get punched, I suggest you-" Maria started, but got interrupted. By me.

 **"Fuck you Stark!"**

"I'm sorry. I don't understand you." He said, smugly.

 **"Understand this?"** I asked, holding up my middlefinger.

"You and Clint are one. I get it."

"Stark!" Steve warned, but my anger was swarming me and I couldn't help but wrap my legs around his neck, pin him to the floor and put him in a headlock. It's how I work.

"UNDERSTAND THAT?" I shouted and held him tighter. I stopped myself and looked up at the others, who were looking at me almost in horror.

"Did you just..."

"Yeah." I said, starting to smile. "I have my voice back."

"Oh yay!" Stark said and I hit him on the spot on the back of humans heads that knocks them out. I got off him and brushed myself down.

"NATASHA!" Pepper shouted and ran over to Tony.

"He's just knocked out pep." I reassured her and she panicked less. "I wouldn't hurt him. Not really."

"Well..." She said, dropping him on the floor. "Because of last week, he can stay like that for a while."

"Last week?" Bruce asked.

She sighed. "He went home with a woman from a party. I haven't said anything yet, but Happy told me."

"And you haven't punched him in the face yet?" Clint said surprised. "Man, you have some patience. Not just the woman thing, but dealing with him on a daily basis without snapping."

"Believe me, it's difficult." She said, sitting down.

"It's so inappropriate." Steve complained.

"This kind of thing happens these days." Maria explained.

"Well it shouldn't."

"I agree." She added, smiling at him. He nervously smiled too and turned back to Pepper.

"You can expect it from someone like Tony, knowing his reputation." Bruce commented.

"I cannot believe the man of iron would do that." Thor said. "He would not hurt his lady in such a way."

"We don't know anything yet, remember." I mentioned.

"For all we know he could have just had a nice friendly chat with her." Clint said. We raised out eyebrows at his innocence. "Okay, maybe not." _Since when does Stark just have a friendly chat._

"So...what are you going to do about it?" Steve asked Pepper.

"I don't know whether to ask him about it or not." She said, sighing.

"Ask who about what?" Stark groaned, sitting up from his position on the floor.

"Nothing." Pepper said, smiling, but behind her smile I could see the sadness that was reflected through her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've just been knocked out." He said, reaching to grab her, but he fell down again.

"You sure you are alright?"' She asked, as she kneeled over him. His right hand went to her cheek and stroked it.

"God, I need to mention to you that you are beautiful more often." He said, lost in her eyes. _God, he's a prick._ He leaned up to kiss her, but she pulled back. He looked confused and worried as he said "What is is?"

"Did you...are you...are you sleeping with someone else?" She said, saying the last bit quickly to get it over with.

"What?" He said, shocked that she would ask such a question. He looked round at us, surrounding the pair, and then back to her. "Why would you even ask that?"

"She knows that you went out with a woman last week and went back to her house while you were away on business." Bruce said, a little bit of anger underneath the surface of his calm expression.

"It was nothing." He said, but it sounded a little too quickly.

"Oh really? Well if it was nothing to you then you can tell me what it is then can't you..." She said.

He sighed and shook his head. "I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't tell you."

She stood up and I could see the tears streaming out of her eyes, down her face. "Then we are over." She said and walked out.

Stark got up quickly, but the pain in his neck pulled him down. "Wait! It's not what you think. Pepper! Please don't! Please" he shouted, but by the time he finished, she was already out of the door and in the elevator. "Someone stop her." He said, slowly getting up.

"I can't believe you would do that, you pig." Maria said, slapping him.

"Ow! If you would just-"

"How could you hurt he like that?" Clint asked...and then the shouting match began.

"You bastard."

"She was the most perfect woman for you. She put up with you."

"How could you hurt such a lovely woman?"

"God, I can't believe this. You such a-"

"HEY! SHUT IT!" He shouted and everybody stopped. "Listen to me.."

"Why should we?" Steve said.

"Because I didn't sleep with that woman." He said quickly, before anyone could get a word in. We all looked round at each other and then back to Stark. "What?" We all asked. "You heard me. I didn't sleep with that woman."

"So...what did you do with her?" Bruce asked.

"Don't you know what's happening next week?" He asked.

"Your funeral?" I asked and he chuckled.

"I hope not." He said. "What's happening on the 18th?" He asked.

"Nothing that I know of." Clint said.

"Peppers birthday?" He said, as if anyone could forget that.

"Nothing that you know about either, it seems. Her birthdays on the 19th." Maria said, face palming.

"Oh...please don't tell her I said that."

"We won't...if you tell us what you were doing with that woman!" Steve said.

"She's a celebrity party planner. She's done everyone. I wanted to throw Pepper a party."

"Ohhhhh...right." Bruce said.

"What do we tell Lady Pepper? If we don't tell her then the surprise shall be ruined." Thor said, dramatically.

"Don't worry Thor." Maria said. "We will think of something, because we can't go with you sleeping with someone. There won't be a party if you go with the that.

"How about we say that she is a personal technological friend of Maria's and her and Stark were discussing business about a new arc reactor. That way, Pepper doesn't find out, Tony has a good reason to go to her house and Maria is your back up so that when she asks you," I said, looking at Maria. "you can say that you arranged the meeting for Tony."

"Why don't we get you to do more of the work around here?" Steve asked and I smirked at him. Clint however lightly glared at Steve for the compliment given to me.

"Oh so now i'm shipping Romanogers." Stark said, nodding.

"What the hell is Romanogers?" Bruce asked.

"Are you kidding me?" Maria said.

"What is the 'Romanogers'?" Thor asked.

"Romanogers. Romanoff and Rogers." she said, almost spitting the words out.

"I'm sorry." Tony said, unsympathetically. "Is someone sad because Captain Hill isn't being shipped?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." she said, sternly, but her red cheeks gave it away.

"We need to be focusing on the real problem here." Steve said, bringing the group back to the room. "Bucky is still out there and we need to find him."

"Before he finds us." Thor finished.

"Great. And we'll all become Liam Nesson's." Tony said sarcastically.

"I understood that reference." Steve said happily.

"Did you know that the Taken Series is a prequel to Batman?" Sam asked.

"No way..." Rhodes said.

"Yeah I heard about that." Clint said, raising his hand slightly.

"GUYS!" Steve shouted. "Going off topic here again." We all mumbled an apology and looked towards the ground. "Natasha, how do you suggest that we go ahead?"

I looked at him curiously. "Why are you asking me? You've known him for longer."

"Maybe before he came back, but now..." He said, unable to finished those last few words, but I imagined they went along the lines of "But now...he's different and I don't know him anymore." I always felt bad for Steve. I wanted to tell him Bucky was still alive but I couldn't bring myself round to it. He was so pained by it when we were fugitives and he knew. If I told him during that he would've gone mental that I knew before him, although I can't imagine what's going through his mind right now.

"Well...he's angry. Has a chip on his shoulder that he couldn't shake. Thinking about it...he's very much like you Steve. I think that's why he was so hard to defeat when we were fugitives. Actually, we didnt even beat him did we." I explained.

"He's like me?" He asked and I nodded.

"He is a leader. Can give orders easily and likes to be surrounded..." I looked up at Rogers. "Likes to be involved with the concept of war. Wants to find out the dark secrets that lurk in the corners."

"I don't want to do that."

"You want to know S.H.I.E.L.D's secrets don't you." I argued and he kept his mouth shut. "It doesn't matter how he's changed. It matters what he is going to change." I said. "What does he want? What will happen if he succeeds? Is Bucky really Bucky or is he acting on someone else's orders?"

"Before he was being controlled in his mind." Steve said, remembering our time with him and the whole 'who's Bucky?' Incident.

"So maybe this could be the same." Maria added.

"However he went directly for Natasha." Thor said.

"He made it personal." Bruce said.

"But maybe he is acting for someone else." Clint said.

"Or maybe you are all wrong." Tony said. Our heads snapped round to him, the idea that we were all wrong startling us.

A bleeping from the computer made our interrogation of Hill's love life stop. We turned our heads and noticed that there was some information about the paper registered on the computer.

"What is it Doc?" I asked Bruce.

"First of all, the material is flash paper." he stated.

"What is this flash paper?" Thor asked, confused.

"Flash paper is paper that burns easily and doesn't leave ashes behind. Completely untraceable once burned." Maria explained and Steve smile at her, but she was unaware of this.

"Okay, but that's just the facts. How does it help find the location that the paper was printed?" Tony asked.

"Because there needs to be a specific ink that needs to be used for this paper."

"So how does that help us? They could've just shipped it in." Steve said.

"Ah, but there's the thing. They couldn't just ship it in. They need to buy it from the only store that sells it in New York, because it has alcohol in it. It can't be shipped."

"How clever! Did you work out all that by yourself?" Steve asked.

"I knew about the store and the alcohol, but I was unaware that it was flash paper."

"Good work Science Bro!" Tony said, clapping his hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"We are not sticking with that name." Bruce whispered to himself.

"Anyway," Cap said loudly, bringing them back onto the subject. "Where is this shop and what is it called?"

"The name is called Ink Print Industries. It's a pretty big store, but they never moved because it has become more of a tourist thing for New York now."

"So...how do we play this? Steve?" Tony said, looking at the Captain.

"Bruce here on comms as usual. We do not need a code green. Natasha, Maria and Clint go undercover and get into the room where the security cameras are kept. Natasha and Clint you will pose as members of the company and Maria, you will persuade your way back and possibly cause a diversion. We need to see who bought the ink if we can. Me and Thor will take the back entrance of the building. There shouldn't be that much security."

"And what about moi?" Tony asked.

"You can't come. Everybody knows your face and we don't need Iron Man for this."

"Oh come on. That is such a lame excuse."

"He's saying that you are too famous and important to be put in danger Stark." Maria explained.

"Oh okay...well I guess if you put it that way."

"Good. Lets suit up. Banner?" he asked, turning to the scientist. "Get us a map of the building so we can locate the security footage easier."

"On it."

"Oh and Stark I have a job for you actually?"

"Yes?" he asked, eagerly.

"Go and apologise to Pepper." Steve said, making Tony's face drop, and walked to the Avengers bedrooms with the group.

 **I have absolutely no facts about flash paper! I know it leaves no trace of ashes or anything, but the rest is complete and utter bullshit, so don't take it seriously :P I'm sure you can probably write on it in pen! Anyway, please review! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT! It means that I can update more!**


	8. Human

**I'm** **loving the feedback on this guys :) Thank you guys! Anyway, here is the new chapter! This chapter is a bit crazy...it includes Maria's flirting skills which I had a funny time writing! My updates are switching between this story and Undercover so follow that too! There should be an update for each every week :) so that's two chapters a week for you guys! Enjoy!**

We went to get changed into our suits, but before I entered the door to my room, I was held back by someone's arm blocking the door.

"Get away from me." I said, staring at the door, and he put his arm down.

"So what's up with you?" Clint asked me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, facing him.

"Well is your throat okay?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"A little sore I suppose, but apart from that I am fine." I said, rubbing my throat slightly from memory.

"And are you feeling okay...mentally?" he asked, cautiously. He knows that I've had problems in the past, considering I was brought up in the Red Room.

"I said I'm fine." I insisted and opened the door to go into my room again, but he quickly slipped inside as well. "Hey!" I complained. "Get out!"

"Not until you fully explain how you've been." he said. "Telling the others must've been hard."

"Technically you told them." I pointed out, going over to my wardrobe. I heard him sigh and I pulled out my suit. "Look, I don't care about it."

"Of course you would." he debated. "It would hurt you. No matter how much you deny your emotions, you have feelings."

"No I don't." I said, trying to remain calm and not get angry.

"How can you not?"

"I just don't."

"Obviously you do, because you're a normal human being."

"BUT I'M NOT AM I!" I shouted, finally getting fed up. "I'm not human." I said to him and I could feel my body raging with shakes. I let the suit fall, like my emotions, out of my hands. I dropped to the floor and hugged my legs tightly, whilst Clint hurried over and pulled me into a side hug.

"They may have experimented on you and injected you with serums, but you are still human."

"I'm not so sure anymore." I whispered into my arms. Clint just held me slightly tighter and came closer to my ear as he whispered back "You are. You may not believe it right now but you are. You need to believe in yourself more Tash." I always liked it when he called me by my nickname.

I would never be human, no matter what Clint says. My biological DNA is different, but my personality will never be like a human being, because to be human you need emotions and I don't tend to have those. I realised that I was becoming more of an emotional person and decided to end it. I can't be normal. All those years of training with The Red Room will be put to nothing if I have emotion. Even though the were cruel and their methods were strict, S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers can use that to there advantage. If I have these skills then I would rather use them than change and not have that extra talent that makes me less disposable. The Avengers are all I have now that S.H.I.E.L.D has closed down...well officially closed down. What use would they have for me if I was an emotional wreck? I'd have nothing...but the ledger.

"We need to get ready for the mission." I said formally, pushing myself off him. I can't have this outbreak again. "Also, have you got something against Rogers" I asked, curiously.

He looked at me confused and asked "Why would I dislike Rogers?" I couldn't tell whether he was using sarcasm or whether he was being serious. Sometimes I never can get a read on him...he's nearly as good as me. Nearly.

"The other day when he said that I should do more of the work, because I am good at it and complimented the fact that I came up with the idea about Tony going round to the girls to design a new arc reactor." I explained. He looked down at the floor, trying to think of an answer, but just shrugged. Why isn't he responding?

"Fine." I said, angrily. "Don't tell me then." Walking purposefully towards the door, I reached my hand out to grab the door handle, noticing my almost saddened expression and ignoring it. Clint came towards me and I opened the door. I knew Clint always had concern for me, however this is getting very protective over me. To be honest, he always has taken care of me whenever something bad happened or I was shot. He has always protected me and my interests, which no one has ever done for me before. Maybe he was jealous when Steve implied that I was very intelligent? _Don't think about that now._

I looked through the peephole in the door and noticed that he had his second finger and thumb squeezing his nose, whilst his other hand was on his hip. He breathed out, shook his head and glanced back at my door before walking down the corridor. After standing looking out for a moment, I slipped on a pair of dark blue jeans and a red top, grabbing my favourite jacket, black and leather of course, and trainers as I did. Slipping on the jacket, I looked at my pedestrian appearance in the mirror. _You may look normal, but you never will truly be that way._

I tied up my hair in a black hair-band and then put on the trainers, in case I needed a quick getaway. I looped up the laces and pulled them tight, so they wouldn't slip off my feet. I finished the double bow and stood up straight, smoothing down my leather jacket.

 _Time to pick weapons._ I smiled at the thought, because what is the Black Widow without her weapons. Walking over to my weapons board, I pushed a button underneath my bed post, allowing the bookcase to slide to the side, revealing my huge stash of equipment.

I picked up four of my knives, placing one in my bra, one in my right hand side inner pocket, one hidden in between my hip and jeans and a small one in the underneath of my shoe, where a hidden compartment was made especially for it. I picked up a gun and stashed it into the back of my jeans, making sure that my top covered it and, more importantly that the safety was on first. _I remember Agent Cooper not exactly being the brightest agent in the world._ I put extra ammo in my side pockets and picked up a fake phone, so if I needed to I could pretend I was texting, because props are always important.

I met the others, apart from Tony who was apologising to Pepper, in the living room, dressed in similar attire, Thor looking very out of place, but he was only going through the back entrance.

"Got your badge ready." Bruce said, handing it to me. This was so that I could get through any security doors. Samanda Greyworth - Customer advisor. Interesting cover.

"Thanks." I replied. My eye caught briefly with Clint's and his eyes flickered to his badge as soon as ours connected.

"Weapons ready?" Steve asked.

"Ready and back ups with me. Fake phone in my pocket and the knowledge of how to kill a man in 283 different way with my fingers."

"Good to know." Bruce said, sarcastically, beginning to hand out earpieces.

"Is Maria not coming?" I asked, noticing her absense.

"They'll be having Pepper fighting the fight next." I spun round, hearing the voice from behind me, and saw Hill, dressed in a black vest top with blue jeans, wearing combat heels. _Damn_.

"Uh...y-you look..." Steve tripped over his word like a one year old trying to skip.

"Yes?" Hill asked, walking towards them, collecting an ear piece from Bruce.

"Yeah...I mean...no..." he said, stumbling over his words. "Sorry, I mean do you have your weapons ready?"

"Yep. Seven knives and two guns. Also have back ups on me."

"Wow." he said and then shook his head. "I mean that's good."

"Going back to your original statement, I'm sure that Man of Iron would not like Lady Pepper to go into battle with us." Thor said, worrying about Virginia.

"Where is Tony out of interest?"

"Mr. Stark is with Miss Potts in her bedroom, Miss Romanoff."

"Well they've made up then." Bruce said, smirking, giving Thor the last ear piece. "Keep on the comms and I'll keep you up to date about security as I can see the cameras and heat signatures."

"Thank you Bruce. Lets roll." Cap instructed, as we all walked towards the elevator, Bruce opting for the stairs to save us the trouble of stopping the elevator on the way down.

"Ink Print Industries has low security, but does have security cameras so make sure that you look normal at all times." Steve reminded us, as we neared the entrance of the store. We took three undercover cars, all different makes and colours, to make sure no one recognised us. Maria going by herself, me and Clint going in one vehicle, with me driving, and Steve and Thor going in another, all of us parking in different places also.

"Hawkeye, Widow, Hill, you're up first. Hill, engage with one of the members of staff to go behind the desk. Use Romanoff's technique to get there."

"You mean flirt with him?" she asked, simply, hearing her get out of the vehicle.

"I..uh...I mean...it's a..um..."

"I'll flirt with him, but just make sure you don't go red with a blush. Someone will suspect something." she said and I could almost see her smirk. I saw her walk through the door and I really could see her smirk. She walked through the store, going straight to the desk, making it appear like she wanted a direct order. She stopped for a second, pretending to check her phone, but was discretely looking for the lowest life at the desks.

She set her target and walked towards her, immediately catching his eye. "Hi gorgeous." she said with a smile and giggled slightly.

"Uh...um hi." he said back to her, getting a little giddy.

"Looking across the store, I saw you and I couldn't help but come over."

"R-really?" he said. "I uh...I noticed y-you also..."

"Well...I was wondering whether you wanted to go somewhere more private." she said, smiling.

"Uh.." he said, looking to either side of the store. "I could have my break early." he said, smiling, and took her hand, walking her to the back end of the store. He swiped his card and as soon as they were behind doors, I heard a single punch and Maria said "Too easy."

"We're coming now." I said, under my breath, taking my card out of my pocket. Me and Clint had taken our time to get to the doors and we wanted to enter after Maria did. The doors opened and we saw Maria standing with her hands on her hips.

"The body is in the cupboard. Lets go." she said and starting walking. "Bruce, where to?" she asked.

"Keep heading down this corridor. There should be a sign saying 'Security', two doors from where you are right now."

"Got it." Clint said, jogging towards the door.

"Three heat signatures behind it." Bruce said, over comms. "Hang on..." he said, hesitating. "That's weird."

"What's weird?" Clint asked.

"There's now only two." Bruce said. I looked at the others and I had the same thought that they did... _What is going on?_

"Fellow Avengers, what is your location? We have already reached the room of security." Thor said over the comms, causing Clint to open the door.

"Natasha, now's your time." Hill said, as I walked over to the computer. I quickly hacked into the system and located the files that contained the security footage.

"How old was the ink Bruce? You got a date?"

"The fourteenth of July."

"Doing a facial recognition scan now." I said, opening up the USB stick and running the program to reference those HYDRA.

"How long will this take?" Steve asked.

"Five minutes tops. Then we need to get out of here. Our cover might blow if they are short on staff or if someone recognised us." Maria said.

"Done." I said, finding a facial match. The others looked over my shoulder and Maria shouted "Bastard. I knew he was trouble."

"Don't blame yourself for letting him in." Steve said, trying to make her feel better.

"So you think he did this to Bucky?" Clint asked Steve.

"Perhaps. I've heard rumours he is the head."

"Of HYDRA?" I asked and he nodded.

"Lets go. We have our information. Copy it and we'll trace the feeds from where he went after that." I downloaded the footage onto the USB and ejected it. I slipped it into my bra and we headed out of the room. The others took the back entrance out as me and Clint took front entrance to make sure that the security feeds were playing as usual.

"Make sure you give the receptionist a hallucinogen before you leave, so he forgets everything. He'll probably think that he fell asleep on the job. He's in storage room three." Hill said, giving a hallucinogen to the security footage guard and handing one to me, before leaving with Rogers.

"Lets go." I said to Clint and walked with him.

"Hang on, I haven't got any information here. I can start the trace as you make your way back. Who is this guy?" Bruce asked.

I could feel Hill narrow her eyes in hatred as she spat out "Grant Ward." over the comms. Clint put his hand up to his ear and muted his comms. He gently pulled me to a stop and put his hand to my cheek.

"What are you doing?" I asked, looking and sounding confident, but feeling nervous on the inside, probably because I was unaware of his intentions. He stroked back a bit of my hair and pressed the mute button on the comms.

"Aren't we gonna talk about this?" he asked, as he began to walk slowly back to the store. I followed and re-straightened the sides of my jacket.

"There is nothing to talk about." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I think there is." he argued softly. "You've been through a lot and I think that we should...you know..." he said, almost fearing the words he was about to say. "talk about it all."

I rolled my eyes and walked towards the door that said 'Storage Room Three'. I saw it on the way into the complex. "Like that's going to happen." I said, scanning my card and opening the door.

"HEY!" the guy said, evidentially regaining conciousness after Hill knocked him out, but I soon fixed that by head-butting him quickly.

"Idiot." I said and injected him with the hallucinogen.

"Okay, well can we discuss it at some point."

"There is nothing to discuss." I said, exiting the room. "You think i'm human, I don't. We just have different sides of the argument. We're not discussing anything." I said, swiping the key card to the final door to leave. "Ever."

 **Hope you liked this and the link between Avengers and agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Can't wait to continue this story :)**


	9. Jewellry

**Thank you for the reviews :) I hope you like this! It's a bit of a break from the missions and dramas. This is a very big chapter. I'm really sorry about the late update but I wanted to make sure that this was okay!**

A week had gone by and the 'Missing persons case' had gone far. Sam was brought in on it, as he has been tracing Bucky as well apparently, so he has been helpful when searching for Ward. We have been searching all security feeds from the day he was seen leaving the Ink Print Industries building and have traced him back to the building that we set fire to the other week. However, we also traced him to another building in San Francisco that we are investigating tomorrow. Over the past couple of days, the team has been doing miniature missions too.

Tonight, however, was one of the most important nights of the year - Virginia Potts' birthday. Tony said that the only day above it was his own birthday. I took a long time selecting Pepper's birthday present. It's very difficult to know what to get your best friend, even though you know hardly anything about her.

 **Flashback through to present day**

"I can't believe we are doing this now." Clint said, huffing.

"We're doing this instead of finding James and Grant. We needed a break and there is nothing that we can do to help. If something important flags up then they shall report to us about it." I told Clint. "Now, what are you thinking?"

"What's her favourite colour?" Clint asked.

"Blue." I replied, as we walked down the street.

"Any hobbies?"

"I know that she likes swimming and tennis, as well as shopping. That is her favourite."

"Anything she doesn't like?"

"Time wasters." I replied, smirking.

"I think I might get her some blue earrings. I noticed that her earring stand only had a few on."

"You really do have Hawk eyes."

"Thanks." he smiled.

"Jewellery is the safe option for gift buying. At least you didn't say something like a video game. She despises them too."

"So what are you going to get her?"

"I don't know. I don't really know her that well."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "You're kidding me? You just listed about her hobbies, favourite colour, etc. I bet you know more about her than Tony does."

"I wouldn't know what to buy her." I said, honestly. Out of all of the gifts, what would I get her? Sentimentality isn't my thing.

"Think about something personal." he said, almost reading my mind. I looked at him, as if to say 'really?'

"I'm not really a personal person." I replied truthfully. We continued walking down the streets of New York, looking for any gift shop or anything that looks interesting.

"Surely you've had moments with her?" he asked me.

"Not really." I said, lying to myself. We've chatted many times. There was one thing that she did need and it wasn't a weapon. "I have an idea, but you promise you won't tell anyone."

"I promise." he said, seriously. He looked deep into my eyes, into my soul, and made me feel nervous for a moment. He really sounded like he meant it.

"Lets go." I said, turning left down an alleyway to the shop.

"Pandora?" Clint asked. "You were talking to me about it being a safe option for gift buying and now you're getting her the same thing."

"This is different." I said to him.

"Okay." he said, believing me.

We walked into the store and a smiley woman came up to me. "Hello, what can I do for you?"

"I would like to buy a bracelet." I said simply.

"Okay, is this a gift for a friend or for yourself?"

"It's a gift for a colleage."

"A friend." Clint corrected, smirking at me.

"Hang on...are you Hawkeye?" the lady asked, whilst getting the bracelet, smirking at him as she did.

"Yeah. I am. We're Black Widow and Hawkeye, but don't tell anyone." he said, smiling at her.

"Don't worry." she said to Clint. "Your secrets safe with me." She turned back to me, her smiling drooping slightly.

"So what sized wrist is she?" she asked, her fake smile returning.

"Small." I said and Clint whispered "More like extra small." I smirked, laughing slightly and the woman looked at me, irritated.

"What style?" she asked, trying to get the attention back to her, I bet. So what if Clint pays attention to me...

"I would like a plain silver plated bracelet please with one charm."

"And what charm would you like?"

I smiled. "A silver ice cream please."

"An ice cream?" she asked. "Bit childish for your age, isn't it?"

"Who doesn't love ice cream right?" Clint asked, smirking at me.

"Chocolate is my favourite." the shop assistant said, smiling. What a change of heart...

"Cookie dough all the way." Clint said, smirking. "Yours too right Tash?" I nodded and smirked at him. I knew that it was just part of Clint's acting skills, because he wanted the assistant to stop flirting with him.

"Oh I forgot about that one. Ben and Jerry's is the best." she agreed, conveniently, putting the ice cream charm on the chain. She placed the bracelet in a box and gave it to me in a bag. "That will be one hundred and sixty pounds please."

I gave the lady my card and she put it into the machine. "Just type in your PIN number and press enter please." I followed the orders that she said and put in my PIN. I heard Clint's text tone sound as I pressed ENTER on the machine and gave it back to her. "Any news?" I asked him.

"Bruce just messaged me about tonight." Clint said, sighing that it wasn't bad news. "Pepper still doesn't know about it, so if you see her don't say anything. Also, he says that the venue is on the top floor, below the rooftop."

"Nice location."

"Stark tower huh?" the assistant said, passing me the bag. "I wish I could go up there." she said, but even though she was flirting with Clint she meant it in a truthful sense. "All the power that he has, his life is just one big plate served to him with no cost. He acts like another version of Thor, but he has no real power at all. He just has money." she said, staring into space. She snapped her head to us. "The rest of us have to earn our money. It's not given to us on a silver plate."

"You don't think that we have to earn? I started off in the circus." Clint said.

"You think that's funny?" she asked, sneering at him, changing her attitude towards him.

"No, he really did. He started off in the circus with his brother Barney and then some stuff went down…" I said, not trying to go into too much detail about it all. "Then he joined S.H.I.E.L.D and became an Avenger. Lots of hard work, probably the one who works the hardest out of all of us. He's human just like you, but works harder than any of the others." I said and picked up the shopping bag. "Thank you for your service." I said and strutted out of the store.

Clint came after me and I didn't care whether he said goodbye to the tart or not. "I can't believe you said that."

"What?" I asked. "I usually kick ass. This time it was with words rather than fists because I don't want to be arrested. Like they could even try."

"I mean, I can't believe you just told her all that stuff."

"Did I say too much?" I asked, worrying that I had hurt him.

"No, no. It was fine what you said. I can't believe you said that I work harder than everyone else."

"Well, you do work harder than all of us." I explained as we started walking back towards the car that would take us back to the tower. "I think it is easier for the others to train and for me to train, because I have the serum in me and the others are Gods and super soldiers. Tony doesn't have to train and Bruce doesn't need to either. He has an already built six pack with his suit. So technically, out of everyone, you work the hardest."

"I have to, I'm human." he argued. "Anyway, what's the time?"

"15:30."

"And what time do we have to be at the party again?"

I looked sideways at him. "I swear to God you forget everything that I tell you."

"I know I do." he smiled at me. "Anyway, what time does it start and finish?"

"It starts at 8 and finished at 2 in the morning. Before the party starts, Tony is taking Pepper out for dinner, so that she doesn't suspect anything."

"Awesome." Clint replied. "So what are we going to do for the next couple of hours?"

"Train, shower, get ready?"

"Those were my thoughts exactly."

"You training alone today or both of us together? Sparring?"

"Sounds good." he replied, smiling. We walked in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, before he asked "Do you know what the others have got her?"

"I have no idea who has got her presents apart from Bruce, Thor and Tony. Bruce has got her some form of handy science self-cleaning gadget, Thor has gotten her a present from Asgard and then Tony has got her something like a car."

"Wow. I wonder how much that cost him."

"A small fraction of what he earns I am sure." I said.

"I would not even be able to buy my girlfriend chocolate when it came round to her birthday and on top of that I would probably forget or I would have a Facebook reminder halfway through the day."

"I am sure you would be a very realiable boyfriend."

"We could test that theory one day." he said, smirking and raising his eyebrows.

"Shut it Barton." I said, stoically. "Having a girlfriend for you would be breaking the rules."

"Coulson has a wife...or had a wife."

"Yes, but she wasn't a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. She was outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. She was a cellist for Christ sake. Can you imagine me dating a musician?"

"I can't imagine you dating anyone."

"That's because I won't be." I said, sternly.

"Never say never." he said to me. We got back to the car and drove back to the tower, stopping only to get a coffee. I swear Clint cannot get five minutes without a coffee. By the time that we got to the tower, it was already 17:08.

"JARVIS, where is Pepper?"

"Pepper is on the rooftop." he replied.

"Can you tell me when she is a room away or twenty metres?"

"Of course, Miss Romanoff. Is this until the party starts I am assuming?" he asked, catching on. JARVIS was very intelligent.

"Yes please." I said and exited the elevator with Clint.

"I am going to go and get changed now. I will meet you in the gym in half an hour?" Clint asked.

"Sure." I replied and walked down the corridor of rooms to my bedroom. Clint went into his and then I opened mine. I always made sure that he was okay first, but I do not know why. Maybe as insurance that he was alright. He always gets into trouble, even if he is only a metre away from his room.

I put the bag, containing Pepper's present in one of my drawers, and proceeded to put on my suit. I never felt at home anywhere, but in my suit fighting alongside Clint, I did. The other Avengers were a comfort on the battlefield, because I know that they have my back and have the skills to defend me properly.

Going down to the training room, I noticed Maria and Steve talking on the balcony. They seemed to be having some kind of domestic. Maria looked very angry and Steve looked like a turtle cowering back in its shell.

Steve noticed me and Maria turned her head in the direction of eyes. I saw her mouth 'just give me a but of space.'

He nodded and exited from the balcony. He looked at me, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, and I asked "Steve, what's wrong?"

"I...I can't." He said, quickly walking out of the room crying. I looked at where Maria was stood at the balcony looking out at New York. I stormed to the balcony door and opened it.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked. Maria was a good friend, but Steve meant something to me as well. He was my partner during his problems with Barnes and I always got along with him. I understand how to take orders and stand with them, but to do the right thing. I think he is a brilliant leader.

"Something happened on a mission we did last week."

"Something?" I asked, trying to get her to go straight to the point.

"He tried to kiss me on a mission." she said, hitting the nail on the head. She rubbed her hands together and pressed her lips.

"Tired to? Implying that you stopped him or he was really shit at it?"

"No, I tried to stop him."

"Why?" I asked, confused. "You've been crazy about him for weeks."

"It wasn't appropriate. We were on a mission and we should have been focused on that."

"I need some kind of scene here to figure out whether you are being over-dramatic or not."

"So we were doing a small mission, taking down a HYDRA base, and we were hiding in a cupboard about to make our attack. I was re-loading my weapons and just as I was about to leave, but I tripped. He caught me and I was just in his arms. He slowly pulled me up to stand, but held me really close and he was going to kiss me, so I just..." she said, pushing herself off the rails. "pushed him away from me."

"Why would you do that?"

"I was thinking about staying there, but I just thought about the mission. My mind should not be emotionless. I'm called Agent Chill for Christ sakes. I'm called it for a reason."

"I know, but you can change. Rogers can help you." I said, trying to persuade her to change her mind. "You deserve someone like him. You've already been on a date with him. You've kissed him before."

She looked up at me, frozen, and then down at the floor. "You have kissed him right?" I asked.

"Well...he kissed me on the cheek."

"The cheek?" I asked. "That is probably the biggest step he has taken in life. He is definitely a virgin."

"Shush!" she said, smirking. "But seriously...I just want to be with him, but sometimes I think, because of who I am, I can't."

"You can." I said and rubbed her shoulder. "You will be." I smirked and she laughed slightly. I walked out and Clint was waiting for me outside of the door.

"What was all that about? he asked.

"Girl stuff." I replied, trying not to give too much away.

"Maria wants to be with Cap, but she thinks her lifestyle choices and persona make her not want to show any of her emotions."

"How did you know?"

"I heard the last bit and made my own assumptions. You guys usually talk about girl stuff?" he asked, pressing the elevator button.

"She doesn't like to. It's more like she needs to, because she doesn't have another choice. Her feelings for Cap are very...mixed. She wants to keep her persona, but she also wants to let him into her life. I don't have that problem." I said, as the elevator opened. We both climbed in and he looked at me curiously.

"You don't?" he asked.

"Nope. No emotional attachments for me." I said. I heard him sigh slightly, but I just ignored it. We got down to the changing room and stretched and warmed up before we began to spar with each other. The punching, kicking and knife throwing went on for about fourty minutes until Clint said it might be good if we stop before we go and get ready.

"You think that Pepper will like my present?" Clint asked me, sipping his water.

"Of course she will. Even if she didn't she wouldn't say."

He chuckled and smiled. "Thanks." he said sarcastically. "That makes me feel like my present is going to be really appreciated by Ginny."

"I'm sure she will love it." I said, smiling. I looked at him, whilst he wiped the top of his forehead with the bottom of his shirt, revealing his gorgeous set of muscles. I could hear my breathing get a little quicker and subconsciously bit my lip.

"Liking what you see?" he asked. I released my lip and he stepped towards me, pressing his chest against mine. "You think about me a lot?" he smiled.

"You occasionally pop into my mind, only to remind me that your useless arrows are the only thing keeping you alive."

"You keep me alive." he said, pouring passion into his words. "And they are not useless. My arrows shoot straight." he smirked.

"I'm not sure i'm the only thing that supports your existence." I replied, smiling, and turning my head slightly, his breath brushing the side of my cheek.

"Believe me you are." he whispered, his hands touching my hips. I stared into his eyes and my palm pressed against his chest. "You are the only thing I live for." he said.

"Just me?" I asked.

"Just you." he replied and kissed my cheek slowly. As he pulled away, I felt his breath sweep across my cheek and his arms loosen slightly. "See you at the party." he said, smiling, and brushed past me, tracing his hand over my stomach as he left.

I stayed in the same place as he left me. As soon as I heard the elevator doors close, I breathed out a shuddery breath and dropped onto my knees. What just happened? I thought, but quickly regained my mind and stood up slowly. The only thing that you can do is get ready for tonight so leave and do that. Take your mind off it. I walked over to the elevator, forgetting my moment of emotional weakness, and got in it. The ride up was silent and I couldn't bear it so I asked JARVIS a pointless question. "JARVIS, where is everyone?"

"There are guests waiting in the lounge area. Mr. Stark and Miss Potts are out in a restaurant. Steve, James, Sam, Maria and Jane are in the kitchen. Thor and Bruce are on the balcony. Mr. Barton is in his room getting ready.."

"Thank you JARVIS." I said, as the elevator doors opened. I walked out and everybody looked at me, their happy faces faltering slightly when they realised that it wasn't Pepper and Stark. I rolled my eyes and walked through the crowed, my body not smelling of sweat, because it isn't in my nature to.

"Widow, you going to get dressed now?" Falcon asked, running out of the kitchen to see me.

"Yes, I'm a pretty quick dresser. Also, they're not here for another hour."

"I know, but people got here early just in case." he said, casually, but got distracted by a blonde walking past behind me.

I looked at her as she smiled at him and he returned the smile. He turned back to me and said "Sorry, how are you?"

"Good." I said. "Now go after her." I ordered and walked away as he smiled at me before putting on his "game face" as he likes to call it and darting after the girl.

As I walked down the corridor, I thought about going into Clint's room and talk about what happened in the training room, but I decided against it assuming that he was in the shower.

Once I was in my room, I showered, got changed into a strapless bra and black underwear and then walked across the room, once my body and short red hair were dry, which didn't take very long. I straightened it quickly, so it didn't go curly. Then I opened my wardrobe and saw the dress. Red strapless with lace around the bodice. Nobody has seen this dress yet because I have never worn it...until tonight. I purchased it a couple of days ago, with some left over S.H.I.E.L.D money, specifically for Pepper's birthday party. I saw it in the shop and I would've fallen in love with it if it were possible for me to do that.

I lifted up the hanger and ran my hand over the material, appreciating the work that was put into creating such a brilliant design. It was a four thousand dollar design, but still, it was worth it. I unzipped the back and easily pulled the dress up my body, zipping it back up once it was in place. It fitted perfectly and I made a reminder in my head to go and purchase more clothes from the shop.

Walking over to my desk, I looked over the selection of necklaces and earrings I had. Deciding against the necklaces, I picked up some small red stud earrings and attached them to my ears, making sure not to aggravate my ear lobe. That is not an attractive look, not that it would matter because I could get my hair to cover them if I really wanted to.

I looked at myself in the mirror once I had slipped on my black heels. I am beautiful. I wasn't being vain about it, it's true. The serum they injected us with contained a chemical that advances your beauty somehow. It's good that the formula never reached the public or the press.

A week had gone by and the 'Missing persons case' had gone far. Sam was brought in on it, as he has been tracing Bucky as well apparently, so he has been helpful when searching for Ward. We have been searching all security feeds from the day he was seen leaving the Ink Print Industries building and have traced him back to the building that we set fire to the other week. However, we also traced him to another building in San Francisco that we are investigating tomorrow. Over the past couple of days, the team has been doing miniature missions too.

Tonight, however, was one of the most important nights of the year - Virginia Potts' birthday. Tony said that the only day above it was his own birthday. I took a long time selecting Pepper's birthday present. It's very difficult to know what to get your best friend, even though you know hardly anything about her. I confidently walked out of my door, collecting the present on the way out, and shut it behind me. Show time I thought as I neared the entrance to the living room.

 **Hope you liked this huge chapter! Thank you for review! Keep it up :)**


	10. Ice cream

**THANK YOU FOR READING! Sorry for the late update! I have been swamped with school work :P**

 **Previously:**

 **I confidently walked out of my door, collecting the present on the way out, and shut it behind me. _Show time_ I thought as I neared the entrance to the living room.**

Once I opened the door, I found everybody staring straight at me. The music was still playing in the background, but everyone was looking, even the DJ. I heard someone clear their throat behind me and I turned to see Clint there, looking smoking hot in his suit. He smirked and offered his arm. I can't exactly say no. It's rude and he will be embarassed in front of everyone.

I smiled back and hooked my arm around his. We graciously walked down the stairs, me more strutting than walking, and the guests began to slowly start conversation again. Clint came down to my ear and whispered "Pretty fit for the world's smallest agent."

"Pretty fit for the world's largest dickhead." I snapped back, smirking, and he gave me glare as we arrived at the kitchen table.

"Damn Romanoff. Lookin' fine." Falcon said, sliding across the table to me. "Dump this Hawk and run away with me instead." he said, jokingly.

"There is nothing to dump. I'm not with anyone." I said, smiling.

"Oh babe, you're killing me." Clint said and chuckled, high fiving Sam in the process.

"You guys are idiots." Maria said, weaving her arm around the back of Steve.

"Are you guys…?" I asked, gesturing to how close they were.

Steve smiled and Maria replied "You were right Natasha. I need to let people closer to me." She looked up at Steve. "That's exactly what i'm doing." She kissed him and Clint and the others cheered.

"I bet they're gonna get married first." James said in my ear.

I nodded in agreement and asked him "Unless Tony pops the question first."

"Or Thor." he said.

"Does Bruce have anyone?"

"I knew he had a girl one called Betty Ross." War machine said, taking another sip.

"Colonel Ross' daughter?" I asked, taking his drink and having a sip.

"HEY!" he shouted and took it back, smiling. "And yes I mean Colonel Ross' daughter. She was in a relationship with Bruce before he became all hulky."

"Hulky? Is that a proper term?"

"Yes." he said. "I just invented it. Anyway, then she was able to control the hulk somehow."

"How?" I asked.

"By using animal kingdom tactics I think. Showing him respect."

I suddenly had an idea. "Why don't we try that?"

"What? Animal kingdom tactics?" he asked and I nodded. "Yeah, we could try I guess. We _could_ , but it would be extremely dangerous."

"Extremely dangerous is in our job description." I argued and he chuckled.

"I'll put in a word to Tony."

"Thank you." I said, smiling. "Anyway, why don't we hook them back up."

"I think Tony's already planning on that." he said, knowingly.

"What do you mean?" I asked suspicious of his word choice. "He's invited her here?"

"Yep. She should be coming later on tonight."

"That's either going to be disastrous or interesting. Or both."

"Probably both." he smirked and finished the last few gulps of his beer.

"Mr. Stark and Miss Potts have entered the building." JARVIS said over the comms.

"Tony had a warning thing put in so everyone would know when they would be coming up." Falcon said, going into the living room to greet them. "You know the plan right?"

"Of course I do." I said, smiling, and watched as the screen next to the elevator counted down from five. The sign saying 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEPPER!' showed as the doors opened and we all shouted the message. Pepper looked at us in pure shock, but after a second it turned to happiness and she started crying slightly as she always does. The crowd echoed with awwwws as she threw her arms around Tony, holding him tightly. I could see him smiling as he closed his eyes and appreciated the woman he was lucky enough to have. He pulled away and kissed her lips. I saw him whisper happy birthday to her and say that he lover her. They were such a good and unusual couple. I could see the tension burning from when I saw them when they were dealing with Ivan.

Tony grabbed a microphone as he does and shouted "HELLO EVERYONE!" They all cheered in response as he expected and he walked out a bit with Pepper. The music died down and Tony spoke up again. "I hope everyone is having a good night and it is about to get better, obviously now that I'm here." he said and everyone cheered again, louder if that were possible. "Now this…" he said, gesturing to Pepper. "is one Virginia 'Pepper' Potts and she is one of the best human beings on this planet." he said, thoughtfully, and her eyes clouded with tears. "She means everything to me. Everything. I couldn't live without her, not just for the company's sake, but for my sakes too. I wouldn't be here without her."

"What is he doing?" Clint asked me quietly, suddenly appearing next to James.

"No idea." he replied.

"Pepper, I know that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You don't know but I've already travelled to the future and discovered that." he said, joking, and she choked out a laugh through tears. "So…" he said, kneeling down onto one knee in front of her. "if you'll have me, which obviously you will…" he said, causing Potts to roll her eyes. "will you marry me?" he asked. There were multiple gasps from the audience and some people were in tears. But I just stared at them. How can they love each other that much? To put all that faith in one person and trust them not to turn their back on you? I don't think I could ever do that. I looked across at Clint who was witnessing the event, smiling sweetly at the couple. Did he have that person already? That 'special someone' who he thought he could spend the rest of his life with? Is that person me?

He turned his head to look at me and was about to turn it back, but kept his eyes locked with mine. I could almost feel the tension rising in the room and I knew that I should've turned my head away to look at the proposal, but I couldn't draw my eyes away. Something made me keep my eyes drawn to him, almost pulling me towards him.

A loud clapping erupted and my head snapped towards the noise, which was all around me, but I focused my eyeline on the newly engaged couple. "Thank you for coming. LET'S PARTY!" Tony shouted over the speakers and then Skip To The Good Bit by Rizzle Kicks. Everyone cheered and started dancing, Pepper and Tony kissing in the background.

"I guess I was wrong." James said, smiling.

"I suggested that they might get married first, so I win."

"You didn't say that it was definite."

"I suggested it. I still win." I said and he laughed. Me, Clint and Sam went over to Pepper who had finally stopped kissing Tony. "Congratulations." I said and hugged her. She was wearing a blue backless dress, one which I remember Coulson talking about in his report when he spoke about recruiting Mr. Stark.

"I can't believe this is happening. You look beautiful by the way." she replied, excitedly.

"Thank you. You look gorgeous." I said, smiling, and taking in her appearance. She really was beautiful. I noticed that she didn't have any earrings to go with her outing and had an idea. "Here you go." I said, handing her the bag containing my gift.

"Awww Tash. You didn't-"

"Don't even think about saying that I didn't have to. You're the only girl apart from Maria who actually lives here. I like Jane equally as much, but still. There's only three women Avengers in the whole tower."

"Yes, but we are three women who kick ass and have all the boys under control." she said, smiling. She opened the box and saw the Pandora bracelet with the ice cream charm on it. She looked up at me, her face completely gobsmacked.

"Is it too much?" I asked, worried that I might have overstepped a line. She didn't reply at first, not verbally anyway. She wrapped her arms around me, squeezed me tightly and I hugged her back.

"Thank you." she whispered and kept me in a tight hug still.

 **Flashback**

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Five minutes ago, I saw Pepper sitting in her office, crying her eyes out on the desk. By now, she had collected herself and could speak.

"I just….this bracelet..." she said, gesturing to a Pandora bracelet broken on the table. "My mother gave it to me in her will when she died. It was the only thing that she left me in her will."

"Is there anyway you can fix it?" I asked.  
"No, there is no way Natasha." she said and swept the bracelet into the bin, among some other rubbish. She definitely wasn't going after it.

"What happened to it?"

"I was getting my coffee and it got caught on the side of the desk." she explained, putting her head in her hands. "I'll get over it. It's fine." she said, dismissing her upset emotions.

"Okay…" I said, about to walk out, knowing that she didn't want to talk about it. "I'll take the bin and empty it into the trash actually. I'm heading that way."

"Thank you." she said, smiling at me for a second, before returning to her work. I took the bin and went to the rubbish, but before I chucked it in I noticed it glistening in the bin. I picked it back up and kept it, throwing the rest of it away. Pandora I noted, silver chain, ice cream charm.

I took the empty bin back to her room and placed it by her desk. "Why was there an ice cream charm on it Pep?" I asked, using her nickname to make her open up a bit more.

"My mother used to take me out for ice cream every day when I was younger. She said that ice cream was the only thing that cheered me up then, nothing else. So she added an ice cream charm to the bracelet and kept it there. I've had it there ever since and whenever i'm down I look at it and think of her." she said, tears welling up in her eyes. I sat with her and hugged her until she stopped crying.

 **End of flashback**

She pulled back and I helped her put it on her wrist. "You are the bestest friend ever." she said and hugged me again. I went wide-eyed, hugging her back, in shock that I had just been called someone's best friend. _I don't think bestest friend is an actual term..._

"That is alright. You deserve the gift after all your hard work." I replied and pulled away. I looked at Clint expectedly. I coughed twice, but he just look at me with his eyebrows raised.

"What?" he asked and I rolled my eyes. I dipped in the jacket pocket of his tux and pulled out a small pale blue box. "This is from Clint." I said and she chuckled, as she opened it.

She gasped and pulled the blue earrings out of the box. "Oh Clint, they are beautiful." She quickly put them in her ears, because they matched her dress conveniently, not that I brought up opening the presents for that reason at all...

James gave her a pair of beautiful black pumps that were designer and had crystals on them, which she immediately swapped for her killer high heels. "Thank God for that." Pepper said. "I was almost dying in these heels."

"I saw them and thought that they would really suit you. Afterwards, I thought that it would be an even better present, because then your feet wouldn't suffer." James said, smiling.

"Awww, you're so considerate." she replied, kissed his cheek and gave him a hug.

She turned to Tony. "Very beautiful." Stark said and kissed her. "Now…let us party, bride-to-be." he said and rushed her onto the dance floor to dance.

"I need to go and speak to Bruce about that theory we talked about." Rhodey said to me. "See you later."

"Theory?" Clint asked.

"James said that Banner's old girlfriend Betty use-"

"Wait, Banner had a girlfriend?"

"Yep, Betty Ross."

"Col-"

"Yes, Colonel Ross' daughter, Betty. Anyway, they used to date and after he went all 'hulky' as James likes to describe it, she used animal kingdom tactics to calm him down and de-hulk him."

"I'm guessing that these tactics involved her acting less powerful than him." he said.

"Um...yeah." I said, quite impressed that he knew that. "We thought that someone might be able to use that technique on him."

"That sounds like a good plan, but who would be crazy enough to try?" he asked and I just kept my eyeline on the floor. "Oh you're kidding me...you think you're a good candidate to take on the Hulk?"

"I think it would be good to try. I mean I'm female, she was female. And I have a good connection with him."

"What do you mean by good?"

"I mean that I'm friends with him."

"Right." he said, acting slightly relieved.

"You think it's a good plan?" I asked him. An idea needs opinions to determine it's success.

"As long as you don't get killed, i'm okay with it." he said sternly.

"I won't get killed. Trust me." I said. I looked across the room and saw Jane walking towards us, gracefully...very gracefully. She was the most fragile delicate human being, but she has enough sass to take on any Avengers, as well as having the looks of a goddess. She was wearing a green dress with long sleeves and a small black belt around her waist. She wore green mini-heels and some kind of asgardian ring that said 'Thor'.

"Natasha!" she shouted and threw her arms around me. I returned the hug before she pulled away and hugged Clint just as tightly. "How are you guys?" she asked. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"I've been great. Mainly training and missions, but it's all good." I replied.

"That sounds absolutely horrible. Science is much cooler." she laughed and smiled, obviously joking. How is science better than combat? "What about you Clint?"

"I'm good, yeah. I think I need to work on not eating so much cookie dough, but apart from that I'm good." he laughed.

"About missions actually, Thor filled me in on this situation with Bucky. How is it going? I've only had his perspective and as I'm sure you can imagine, Thor likes to speak in riddles and with words I don't understand." she chuckled.

I looked at Clint. I hadn't thought about it in a while. What was happening with the missions? "The tech team have been following Bucky's associate's movements and we are getting closer and closer to closing the case." There were no visible HYDRA agents that I could see at the party and Stark upped security. Only people invited by him.

"Brilliant. I can't believe HYDRA is back again."

"Well hopefully not for long." Clint smiled, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. Me getting my throat nearly cut was difficult for him I think.

"Yeah! So what else have you guys been up to?"

"Picking Pepper's present mostly. That was a difficult task." Clint said.

"What have you got her?" I asked.

"I had no idea what to buy her so I asked Thor if we could get something from the both of us that was handmade." she said, picking up a small ring from a little bag she had. It was the word 'Tony' written on it. "It's pure platinum and has the blessing from a Gods of Asgard."

"What's the blessing for?" Clint asked.

"The marriage."

"Wait, how quickly did you get that thing?" Clint asked. He had a point. We literally only just found out they were going to get married. Hell, they only just had a proper proposal.

"There are future seekers on Asgard. They can tell the future. The Asgardians do not usually use them because they want to make educated decisions based on thought processes and not written timelines. Anyway, the seekers knew that we were trying to think of a gift and they thought that it was perfect."

"That's beautiful." I said, observing the ring. "I see you have the same type of ring." I added, gesturing to the ring on her hand. "Is there something you're not telling us?" I smirked.

"No, no…" she replied, going red slightly. "He hasn't proposed yet."

"Yet?" Clint asked, implications in his words.

She rolled her eyes, even though she was getting redder by the second. "I just mean that it is not an engagement ring. It is a symbol of our love." She turned her hand over, revealing the under side of the ring where a red gem was planted into it. "This is a precious ruby on Asgard that represents love."

A ring to represent love? How pathetic! The closest person to Jane was Thor. Sometimes they were completely inseparable, much like me and Clint. Not that we were together in that way. I have thought about it properly once or twice in the past when I was weak. Recently, the idea of being with him has come back. When he saved me from that hell hole, the red room of pain and shame, I never felt more powerful. My strength, stamina and mood improved when I joined shield and Clint was there for through everything. Training, missions...I owe my life to him. The bottomless debt I owe him that I will never quite repay. No one is as close to my heart as Clint. I have only now noticed that when he smiles, it makes me smile...on the inside of course. I would never tell anyone, because a Black WIdow with feelings does not sound believable and is not achievable...not in this lifetime. The Black Widow doesn't know the meaning of feelings...she doesn't deserve them...I don't deserve them...or Clint.

"I'm really happy for you and Thor." Clint said and she smiled.

"That means a lot to me thank you." she looked behind her shoulder and noticed that Thor was pouring some kind of liquid in a glass for someone else. "Oh no! That cannot happen again. I thought that pub was bad."

"What's wrong?" Clint asked.

"That is an alcoholic drink from Asgard. The last person to have it, my guardian, was completely smashed by the time he had one sip. See you guys later." she said quickly and hurried over to stop him killing all the guests.

Clint flicked his head at me and pouted.

"No." I said, firmly.

"Please."

"No, we are not doing it."

"Come on, you are Russian."

"Nope."

"No, you are not Russian or no you won't do it?"

"No, I won't do it and yes, I am Russian."

"I heard 'No, I'm not Russian, and yes we are doing it."

"We are not drinking it." I said.

"It's from Asgard. We will never get this opportunity again. Please."

"Nope."

"Just to try it." he begged and I looked at his face. Why does he always want to do the stupidest things?

"Maybe later." I said and he whispered 'Yes' quietly.

 **Hope you liked it! Will they get seriously drunk with Thor's drink from Asgard? Read the next chapter to find out :) Please review!**


	11. The Drink

**Having no WiFi at my house is such a joy :( Hope you liked the last chapter….now...for chapter 11….This chapter is VERY smutty, but I just felt like I needed to have a little fun with it.**

 **Previously:**

 **"We are not drinking it." I said.**

 **"It's from Asgard. We will never get this opportunity again. Please."**

 **"Nope."**

 **"Just to try it." he begged and I looked at his face. Why does he always want to do the stupidest things?**

 **"Maybe later." I said and he whispered 'Yes' quietly.**

"I heard about your plan." Maria said. She was looking gorgeous in a black dress with criss-cross straps. She was wearing black small heels and had her hair tied up in a ponytail. All of the Avengers had been drinking all night - some more than others.

"Which one?" I asked, smirking.

"The one about you helping Banner." she said and I noticed that she was stumbling around a bit.

"Oh yeah. I thought it was quite a good concept. We might be able to control him better if we get an understanding about how to de-hulk him."

"I completely agree." she said, pretending to be posh. "But don't get hurt."

"I'll try not to. So how are you?" I asked, Maria. It was a couple of hours in and most of the guests had gone due to the night coming to a close. I hadn't gotten to speak to Maria all night, mainly because she was dancing most of the time and kissing Cap. I was a little tipsy from the sip of Thor's drink Clint forced me to have earlier. Clint was such a light-weight and was bobbling around God knows where, but the affects of alcoholism wear off on him quickly, so he is sober after a short while.

"I have never been better Miss Romanoff."

"You and Steve good?"

"Good? We are great." she said, over dramatically. Okay, she's definitely drunk.

"That is brilliant. You feeling tired at all?" I asked.

"I am absolutely shattered. I might go ask Cap if he wants to go and sleep now."

"You guys staying in the same room?" I asked. That's a bit fast.

"Well I haven't asked yet, but i'm sure he will." she said and then her eyes brightened. "Do you want to come with me?" she asked and I was about to refuse, but she was already pulling me towards Steve, who was checking his phone, most likely for updates on Bucky and Ward.

"Mr. America?" Maria said in a low, really bad impression of an American accent, considering that she was American.

"Ms. Hill." he said, being slightly cautious of her.

"Would you like to retire to the bedroom department with me?" she asked, now in a posh British accent.

"Um...are you sure?" he asked, looking around.

"Do you not want to?" she asked, her bottom lip trembling.

"Of course I do." he said, really meaning it. His words were bleeding with truth. "Night Nat." he said and walked, more like carried, Maria to the bedrooms.

I walked over to Bruce who was hiding in the corner of the room. He looked up and smiled as he noticed me coming towards him. "Hey Banner." I greeted.

"Romanoff." he said, smiling, and sipping his water. He wasn't allowed alcohol in case of a hulk incident.

"Did James mention my plan?" I asked.

"Yes, he did."

"And?"

"There is no way that that is going to happen." he said. "I might kill you."

"Look, can't we just try it out?"

"No..." he said, but didn't seem entirely convinced with his words.

"We have to try. It will save lives." I said, making it seem as only a positive thing.

"Maybe...it might...I guess..."

"Brilliant. We can make sure that all of the training is done in a safe environment."

"Okay..." he said, cautiously.

A slow dance came on and I leaned against the wall, but my eyes were scanning the area. Clint was leaning against the wall also, but looking straight at me. As soon as his eyes met mine, he walked around the dance floor, determined almost.

"Miss Romanoff, would you like this dance?" he asked, holding his arm out for me link my arm around.

"Of course, Mr. Barton." I replied as he led me onto the dance floor. My arm wrapped around his neck and his were comfortably trapping my waist.

"Well this is nice." he smirked.

"Are you still drunk?" I asked.

"A little bit. I think." he said.

"That sounds like you're confident." I said as he pulled me a little closer.

"I am confident."

"Really?"

"I am confident that I will be taking you home tonight."

"We live in the same building. Technically I am already home." I explained to him.

"Well I am confident that I will be taking you to your room tonight then. That better?" he asked, looking like he actually wanted an answer.

"Not exactly, but I can live with your grammatical error."

"You can live with me and my grammatical errors if you wish?"

"I already do."

"I mean properly. Live with me." he said, smiling. He is not going to remember this.

"Sure Clint. Whatever you say." I said, tapping his shoulder.

Through our dance, I noticed his soberness kick in and his drunkenness fade. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"What? Are you drunk now? I thought you were getting more sober."

"I am sober now, but I really need you to stay with me tonight." he said, almost pleading. His face had gone back to being tense again, as it does when he is sober.

"Why do you need me there?"

"I just need to make sure that you are safe." he whispered, pulling me even closer so I could feel his breath running down my cheek. I am sure that he could feel mine against his neck, because of my stupid height.

"Why?"

"I don't want you taken from me again." he said and looked down at the floor. "You might think it's stupid, but I just want you with me. Just for one night. Just sleep in my room. You don't even have to sleep on the bed, you can sleep on the floor if you would like."

"Clint, calm down. Of course I will. If it will make you feel better then sure." I assured him. "When do you want to go?" I asked.

"Once this song is finished." he said and nuzzled his head into my neck again.

The song finished and we decided to leave, only leave the people who were very tolerable of alcohol to their dancing, including the lucky couple. We walked back to Clint's room, not saying anything to each other for the way, and once we got to his door, he asked "Are you sure this is okay?"

"You are asking me that. I should be asking you. I feel like i'm invading your privacy."

"Believe me, I would have you invade my privacy every day." he said and opened the door. His room was surprisingly clean for Clint. I thought it would be all messy like his character.

"Sorry, it's a bit messy." he said, straightening a bowl on his coffee table.

"Do you have OCD or something, because this is a perfectly clean room?" I asked and he chuckled.

"I can't stand things being in a mess. When I was younger, if we didn't keep everything neat then…." he shook his head and looked towards the ground. "Then my p-parents would…"

"I know. You don't have to say anything. I'm sorry I asked." I said, shaking my head for being so stupid. I forgot about the fact that if Clint didn't do what his parents told him to, they would beat him.

He went over to the to bed and collected the pillows there. "I'll give you both the pillows." he said, placing them on the sofa, and walked back to his bed. I chucked them at his head and he turned around confused.

"I'll sleep in your bed. You obviously need my help if you are that desperate to ask for it and I can't talk to you from a sofa. Also, the bed's comfier and we both deserve pillows." I smiled. He returned the smile, took off his trousers, opting the sleep in a shirt and boxers, and then got into bed. I walked over to the light and switched it off.

"Oh I forgot to ask, can you turn on your bedside light?" I said.

"Got it." he said and the room was lit up from the side of his bed. I walked back over and tried to get the zip at the top of my dress, once Clint has his back turned. I sat down on the side and tried to reach, but I couldn't get it. I stood up and attempted multiple different ways, but I could not quite reach it.

"Uh...Clint?" I asked and I heard him turned towards me. "Can you help me?" I looked back as he crawled across the bed.

"Sorry, i'll close my eyes." he said and shut them. I turned back and felt his hands trying to find the zip.

"Just open your eyes idiot." I said and I felt him find the zip, knowing that he did open his eyes. Once the dress was fully unzipped, I pushed it down my body and stepped out of it. Looking back as Clint, I noticed his eyes looking a little lower than my back. "You got something to say lover boy?" I asked as I took my dress to hang over one of his chairs.

"Uh..n-no..sorry…" he said, looking in the other direction. I walked over to the bed, only in my bra and pants, and got into bed with him. I lifted my hand to touch the furthest side of his cheek and pulled it, so he could face me. I stretched my body up so I could lightly kiss his lips. My hands went round the back of his head and his graced down my sides to lightly grab my thighs. He pulled me onto him and I gasped from his confidence. After a couple of minutes of kissing, I pulled back, placing each hand on the pillow on either side of his head, and we sat there for a bit.

I collapsed onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck, his arms clinging around my back, holding me close to him.

"I really needed to do that." I whispered and he nodded in agreement.

"Me too." he said and held me a little tighter. I slowly got off him, leaving my leg leaning over his stomach.

"That was hot by the way." he said, squinting afterwards, hoping that he wouldn't get punched.

I shook my head, laughing, and replied "I know." which made him chuckle. I love his laugh. It sounds like someone is being choked, but it is adorable. "I love your laugh you know."

"Really?" he asked and I nodded. "It sounds like I'm being choked."

I laughed and said "It might." I kissed his cheek and added "but it's still adorable."

He turned off the light and held me closer. Leaving my head on his chest and an arm around his back, I slowly fell asleep, knowing that I was safe in his arms.

 **Early the next morning**

I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt someone touch my arm. I glanced up and saw Clint looking down at me, his fingers stroking my arm. His actions were caring and I liked it, but I couldn't do this,

"Good morning." he said to me softly and smiled.

"Uh...morning." I said and went to the side of the bed, sitting up to get away from Clint.

"Hey, what is wrong?" he asked as he came over and peppered kisses up my shoulder and neck. I moved away from him and he knew that that was a sign to back away from me.

"I need to get dressed." I said, going over to his wardrobe. There was a spare set of clothes in Clint's room that I always kept in here. It was if I needed to get changed after a mission and I was stitched up in Clint's room. His clothes are also in my wardrobe.

"I'm sorry." he said, as I slipped on the jeans that were in there.

"It's fine. I never intended for this to happen."

"No, it's okay. I'm glad that it happened." he said, flashing me a small smile.

"I'm not." I said, bluntly and pulled on a top.

"I understand." he said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"You do?" I asked. "How come?"

"It's who you are." he replied, looking down at the floor. "It's what you do. No emotions is basically your motto."

I walked over to him and sat on the side of the bed next to him. Placing my hand on his thigh, I said "I'm really sorry Clint. I just can't. Not now."

"You'll never be able to have a relationship. I know that. I just didn't want to accept it I guess." he said, defeated, and got up. "We forgetting that this ever happened?" he asked.

"I think that that would be the best thing." I replied, taking back my hand. "For the team's sake as well as ours."

"Don't think for one moment that you are doing this for the team." he said, in a surprisingly calm tone. "You are doing this all for yourself and you know it. You cannot make yourself vulnerable apparently." he said, standing up to get himself some clothes, as he was still in boxers.

"You know that we can't have attachments. We become vulnerable from compassion. I can't have a relationship."

"That's bullshit and you know it." he replied, pulling on some trousers. "Coulson and Fury have attachments, as well as Stark, Thor, even Cap." I sighed and walked towards the door as he finished buttoning up his shirt.

"The Black Widow can't have a relationship." I said, sternly. "I'll see you at breakfast." I said, walking to the door.

"Wait!" he said, running up to me. "We go back to normal?"

"I said that already." I replied, confused.

"I just wanted to...make sure that you were sure." he said and smiled. He opened the door and bluntly said "See you at breakfast." He didn't looked at me, just scanned an interesting section of the floor.

"Bye." I replied and went across to my room. After pacing back and forth for a couple of minutes, I decided to stop and go to get my breakfast.

I went to the kitchen and saw Maria on the counter surface, in one of Steve shirts, with Rogers standing between her legs, shirtless, kissing her.

I coughed and they pulled away suddenly from each other, causing Maria to whack her head on the cupboard door.

"Shit." She hissed and rubbed the back of her head. Steve looked at her and she put up her hands. "Sorry." She said, knowing he would be annoyed at her use of language. Gently he rubbed her head and she smile, but they were still red from the embarrassment of me walking in on them.

"Didn't mean to intrude" I said, smirking at them.

"You uh..." Steve started. "Sorry for b-being in your way." He left to most likely go and shirt on.

I turned to Maria who just shrugged. "You told me to be more open with people."

"That I did." I replied and went to get a coffee mug. "So how was your night?"

"My night was...really...good." She said, smirking.

"Are you talking about the party or..." I raised my eyebrows and finished "the after party?"

Maria giggled and licked some coffee off her lips. "Let's just say that Captain America is a different man." She smiled. "It was a very fun night."

I smiled at her. Steve deserved happiness as well as losing his virginity. I couldn't tell whether that was the case for last night and I would've found out if another couple interrupted.

Jane came into the living room, kissing Thor, but stopped as soon as me and Maria cleared our throats at the same time. We both smiled at our synchronisation.

"What are you guys doing up?" Jane asked startled at our presence.

"Ever heard of an alarm clock?" Maria asked and sipped her coffee, still rubbing her head from hitting it.

"No." Thor said. "What is this device?"

I laughed slightly and was about to start explain but Jane said that she would tell Thor later.

"Seems like I'm not the only one who had a good night." Maria smirked. Jane was wearing Thor's shirt, but she could probably wear it as a short dress if it wasn't for the Mjolnir symbol on the front.

"It's comfier." She said as an excuse, pulling on the collar, slightly embarrassed of her attire.

"It is the finest silk in all of Asgard." Thor explained. "It cost over 10,000 dollars converted into your currency."

"Why am I wearing it?" Jane excalimed, probably worried that she would tear it or accidentally stain it.

"Jane, understand this. You should be wearing the finest materials in the cosmos worth millions." He said, kissing her hand. "You are a princess after all."

She blushed and kissed his cheek, unable to contain her smile. "Thank you Thor." She said quietly and hurried over to us.

"Exciting night?" I asked and she blushed even more.

"No comment." She smirked and got a glass of water.

Suddenly, Pepper and Tony came rushing into the room, Peppers legs around Tony's waist as they walked in. He shoved her against the wall, not even bothering to look in the rest of the kitchen and she kept moaning at his harsh kisses.

All three of us coughed, which made them stop and look at each other. "Why do I never check?" She asked.

"Because I'm just too attractive." He replied and sherolled her eyes, climbing off of his waist and smoothing Tony's shirt down that she was wearing along with a pair of black pants. Tony was wearing a pair of black trousers, but no shirt. I didn't actually realise that Tony worked out. You never would've guessed that he had the outline of a six pack and arm muscle by the clothes that he wears.

"Sorry." Pepper apologised, getting a couple if protein shakes out if the cupboard for her and Tony.

"Don't worry." I said as she chucked a bottle to Tony. "It's happened twice before you guys came in."

Tony choked on his drink. "Cap popped his frozen cherry?" A book was thrown at Stark's head, the book being thrown by Maria.

"Don't talk like that!" She scolded and walked out of the room.

"I'll take that as a yes." He said, smiling, and started sipping his drink again.

"Any developments on Bucky?" I asked.

"We are getting closer by the minute to where Grant was headed." He said. "J.A.R.V.I.S? Where are we up to?"

"Mr Ward has now got out of his car and is walking to his destination presumably."

"Keep us posted." Pepper said.

 **Thank you for reviewing guys! Keep them coming :)**

 **\- Hopefully I fulfilled what you asked for. Thank you so much! I will do a chapter about their feelings for each other, but i'm just finding the right time because in my mind Romanoff isn't exactly the emotional type :P**

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	12. Harry Forder Arekland

**Back-story in case you are confused:**

 **\- The Avengers have not defeated Ultron yet**

 **\- Ward is the head of HYDRA even though this happens after Age of Ultron**

 **\- Hulktasha doesn't happen**

 **\- Laura Barton never happened**

 **\- Agent 33 doesn't exist**

 **I really love the feedback guys! If you feel like anything needs to be changed then talk to me! This is a pretty long chapter, but it's worth it :P**

 **Previously:**

 **We kissed. So what? No big deal! It's not like we're compromised or anything. We can't be compromised.**

A day had passed and me and Tony were in the lab. "We could have ice bites and…..WE'VE FOUND HIM!" Stark shouted from the side of the lab.

"What?" I asked, placing down a gun that Stark had given me to try out. "Are you serious?"

"Yep." He said, smiling. "All my hard work paid off."

"Your hard work? Remind me who infiltrated Ink Industries to find out who was buying the ink?"

"You did it with my tech." He argued and took the fun off me, placing it on a holder. "JARVIS, get everyone in here. Top priority." Stark went over to the computer and assembled the info he needed and put it on a slide. "Finally we are gonna see where this bastards been hiding." He muttered under his breath.

"Stark." I said quietly. "You alright?"

"Wards is bringing up HYDRA again. That can't happen." He said spitefully.

"What happened to make you hate them so much?" I asked and he froze. "Stark? Did something happen?" He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

"A few weeks ago...a death threat was sent to Pepper." he said, quietly. I could almost see tears forming in his eyes. "I have always been curious that it was HYDRA."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to worry everyone." he said, almost forgetting who he was was. He blinked suddenly, coming back to the real world. "You lot worry too much. I was on the case obviously. You guys are too stupid to understand." he added, waving his hand.

"Stark...what did it say?" I asked, trying to understand. what he was going on about.

He pursed his lips and replied steadily "It said...1 month of your life remaining."

"1 month of your life remaining?" I asked. "How long ago did this happen?" I asked, not trying to sound too caring. Pepper was one of the only people that I would call a friend here at the tower and life in general. Maria, Pepper and Jane...that was it for the women of the Avengers. No wonder she was upset about breaking the bracelet if she was being threatened by HYDRA.

"She got it twenty seven days ago." he replied, worriedly. "She is being put under the most expensive security that I can afford."

"How do you know it was HYDRA?" I asked. "I mean, anyone could've sent it. Justin Hammer perhaps? Or another enemy of yours?"

"There was a name at the bottom of the page."

"Which read HYDRA?" I asked.

"It said 'Harry Forder Arekland." he said. "I had Clint check it out for me. He's an anonymous reporter who creates anti-Avengers articles"

"And?"

"He said it was a code for the first letter and then every fourth letter."

"H...Y...D...R…" I said and looked up at him in realisation "...A..…HYDRA..."

"Exactly."

"Well...Clint is good at stuff like that. An old school spy he is." I said. "Are you sure Pepper will be safe?" I asked, showing some concern.

He lifted his head, so his eyes levelled with mine and replied seriously "I will make sure she is under the best protection possible." I smiled slightly and nodded to him.

The elevator doors opened and our 'deep' conversation ceased. "Sup Capsicle." Tony greeted, going back to his normal self.

"Stark." he replied, pacing over to us. "No one here yet?"

"Nope, seems no one cares about catching HYDRA's head."

"Well I know I do." Steve said, authoritatively. The elevator pinged and Maria and Thor exited it. Just after, Clint and Pepper came through the doors from the stairs laughing about something and a spark of jealously began in my chest. They did always seem to get along quite well and I noted that over the past few weeks they had been hanging out a lot.

"We were in the middle of lunch and JARVIS says that you've found him?" Clint asked. We hadn't spoken properly for the past day. I missed our conversation.

"Man of Hawk choked on his beverage. It was most amusing." Thor said, smiling to himself. Clint playfully glared at him and he chuckled deeply.

"Where is Bruce?" Maria asked.

"Bruce is taking a well deserved break. He got stressed the other day and I told him to take a timeout." Steve said. "The Hulk may be a powerful part of the team, but we need him mentally stable."

"Unfair. How come we never get breaks?" Stark asked.

"Try hanging around with yourself for a couple of months and see how if you don't go crazy." Clint smirked and we all laughed, Thor being the loudest as usual. I always loved the way Clint joked. Not too stupid or inappropriate or serious. Just perfect.

"Anyway, our guy is currently in a hotel in Texas." Stark explained. "Should take an hour and a half to get there."

"Alright. More mission details will be given on the way there. Suit up." Steve commanded and we all left to go and change. Clint's eyes fell on me...again...but I had to ignore meeting them. I craved to so badly, but I was unsure whether I would be able to control myself or not and I decided not to risk it.

"Do you think he will talk about where Bucky is?" Steve asked, mainly to Hill because she was the one who had intel on him and overviewed him when he trained.

"He's tough. Doesn't give in. But he has a few weaknesses, one of them being his brother, Christopher Ward, and also an agent called Daisy. She works with a team run by...Agent Coulson."

"Hang on...Coulson is alive?"

"He has been running a mini team from a quinjet. He has been looking into a case, containing Baron Von Strucker, trying to track down the sceptre."

"Is it going succesfully?" Steve asked.

"Steve you knew about this?" Clint asked, angrily. It wasn't like Coulson was a father, we just trained by him, but that didn't mean that he wasn't close to us. We never really had any parents, not truly. I was trained in the red room, forgetting emotions all together and Clint left for the circus and his parents never spoke to him again. I can't believe Steve didn't tell us about this.

"I had to. I'm the team leader." he said. If Tony was head, he probably would've said this smugly, but there is only one Tony Stark. "I had to keep his identity a secret for a while."

"Also, Coulson wanted his cards back so…" Maria smirked and exited the lift when it opened. "Do you need any assistance on this mission Steve?"

"I need some feet on the ground with me, Natasha and Clint. Thank you Maria." he said, smilling gratefully at her and kissing her cheek. She still blushed about it and it was adorable. I was very protective of Steve, always looking out for him and making sure that he didn't make any mistakes, but when it came to love it seemed that he was sorted. He didn't need me to arrange dates for him. He already had Maria. I was very happy for them both.

My eyes drifted to Clint, who was actually not looking at me for once. He was looking down at the floor, almost upset about them kissing. Clint didn't like Maria did he? He can't...he kissed me? Why are you suddenly against him liking other people? You tried to set Roger's up on dates in the past...so why not Clint? I decided that that was what I should do to try and forget all my feelings for Clint. It will get my mind off of the fact that I think I love him. I need to get him dating someone else. That way I can't be tempted to kiss him or do anything else with him. I will talk to him on the way over to the hotel.

"See you on the roof." Steve said and left to change in his bedroom.

"Have you got a suit Maria?" I asked her. I was concerned about Maria coming with us. Not for her safety, because she had been in multiple dangerous situations that almost resulted in her death. That didn't really matter. It was the fact that she might be compromised in the field if Steve is also there.

"I have an old S.H.I.E.L.D one." she said. "Hopefully it will still fit me and nobody notices." she said, referring to the fact that everybody thought that S.H.I.E.L.D was HYDRA.

"No. That won't do. It is too risky. You can borrow a battle suit of mine." I said, leading her to my room. She entered and looked around the place.

"Nice room." she said, smiling. "I wish mine was this luxurious."

"Well, you should get Stark to make you one up. He was talking about it earlier and I think that you would be an addition to the team."

"You think so? And he was talking about me?"

"Sure you would. You have a brilliant skills set and the ability to be one of us. Also, you look after us just as much as Steve does. Whilst we were waiting for the tracker to find out where Ward was headed, he bored me with the design for your suit. I mean he even talked about ice bites that freeze that part of your enemy, which is quite useful considering that they wouldn't be able to move that part of their body."

She smiled slightly. "So I could be on the same team as you guys? I could be on the same team as Steve?"

"You already are part of the team." I said, handing her a suit. "You organise us basically. You are the one who gives us missions after all." We walked to the door. "But remember…" I said. "You can't forget everything that you have been taught. Being compromised in the field is a bad thing. You cannot let that happen." I reminded her. She nodded and went to shut the door.

"Thank you Natasha." she said before shutting it. I paused for a couple of seconds, my arms straight by my sides and my eyes staring forward to where she was just stood.

"That's alright." I said, even though she was gone from my doorway. I was talking to her about being compromised. I have done that enough times in the field with Clint to count. I could never have him hurt. I mean, yes, I care about the others and their injuries too, but not as much as I care for Clint.

Dismissing my thoughts, I got changed into my suit and headed towards the rooftop, meeting Thor on the way. "Lady Romanoff, what troubles you?" he asked.

"What do you mean Thor?" I asked, I didn't think anything troubled me.

"I can sense a darkness in your heart." he said, placing his huge palm on his chest. "It is changing you, I believe for the good."

"The good of me or the good of everyone else." I asked, climbing into the lift, it creaking slightly as Thor stepped into it. It was probably his armour that made up half of his weight and believe me when I say that Thor is extremely heavy. The group tried to do a lifting Thor contest a couple of months ago. No one won and i'm pretty sure Tony broke some of his bones. His red cape made him look more noble than royalty, yet fiercer than me or Clint.

"For both." he said, smiling.

"So how is Jane?" I asked, changing the subject and filling the lift up with some worthy conversation. "I trust that she has a safe journey back to England."

"She did. I spoke with her on the Facetime." he said, happily. "Such inventions are incredible for creating quick transmissions."

"I know." I said, smiling slightly at Thor's excitement. I keep forgetting that he isn't from this realm. He has birds to deliver his messages on Asgard...I think. He kept going on about how fascinating technology is until we got to the top floor.

Steve and Maria were standing there waiting, discussing something between themselves. I had a couple of predictions that they were getting together, but I still tried to set him up with other people to keep him occupied.

"Thor, Romanoff." he greeted and gave us both ear pieces. "You seen the others anywhere?"

"I did not see them on the way up here, Man of America." Thor replied.

"You looking for us?" Tony's voice came from behind me and Thor. Clint and Tony were standing behind us in full outfit.

"Let's go." Steve said, gesturing for us to enter the small helicarrier. We hurried in, our gear already on the jet and got strapped in for take off. While Tony was talking to the rest of us about the trip, I noticed Clint preparing the controls, but he didn't seem happy. His resting face was quite relaxed and he could be seen as upset I guess, but I could tell something was different about him. His eyes flickered back to me quickly and his hands slowed down setting up the controls, but he had done it so many times that his hands automatically programmed the plane, his subconscious taking over.

"The Joule in the Penthouse Suite. I'm surprised security even let me in. While you guys took ten years suiting up, I called the manager. He is in Room 115 with his security guards in 116." Stark said, my attention going back to him.

"You got access?" Clint asked.

"I'm Tony Stark. I'm the person who controls the access." he smirked.

"Anyway, Stark, Thor, and Clint will take it from the top of the building and Maria, Nat and me will go through the ground level entrance." Steve commanded. "We have approximately an hour and twenty three minutes to prepare ourselves. Here are your brief overviews if you need them." he said, handing out files to us about the missions. He and Maria retired to a room of their own to do God knows what. I went to my room, as did everyone else, leaving Clint to pilot and switch to autopilot when necessary.

I sat down on my bed and took a deep breath. Before my missions, I spend about five minutes just sitting down, thinking about how my mind should be set. Focused and not thinking about anything else, like Clint for example. I hadn't had a mission since we kissed. That kiss...that...kiss…

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. I got up, walked over and opened the door.

"Hi." Clint said and flashed a small smile.

"Would do you want?" I asked, wondering why he was here. He has no reason to be in my room.

"Nice to know you care." he said, sarcastically. "Anyway, I was wondering whether you wanted to go over the brief with me?"

"Uh...sure." I replied and opened the door further for him to come in. I don't know why he would want to do this. He was entering from the top of the building and me from the bottom. Why would he need to go over the brief with me?

"Right, what are we going to do about this?" he asked, sitting on the bed. I shut the door, joined him and tried to not look confused by his question, even though I was.

"Well, complete the mission. Is there anything else?" I asked. He raised his hand placed it lightly on my cheek, making my breath catch without the knowledge of me knowing. I felt his thumb press lightly into my neck.

"85 beats per minute." he said quietly. "That is nearly double the amount of your resting heart rate." he smirked. I have a heart rate of about 44 beats per minute, because I am an athlete, making my resting rate slower. Right now, I could feel my heartbeat at 85 and climbing. As his warm hand cupped my face and his fingers smoothed over my skin, I could feel that my heart was raging in my chest, like a caged bird trying to escape. "Getting a little nervous, Miss Romanoff?" he smiled.

"I am never nervous." I replied, sternly.

"I don't believe you right now." he said, leaning in closer. I looked from his eyes to his lips and then back up to his eyes again. I bit my lip staring into the blue eyes of Clint Barton. I knew that it would be a mistake looking into them. They were so captivating and I couldn't look away this time.

"This is a bad idea." I said, but leaned forward towards him anyway.

"Probably." he said and leant in to kiss me strongly on the lips. I pushed just as firmly back against his and my hands travelled up his muscular arms towards his shoulders, one of my hands landing on the back of his neck, stroking the short pieces of hair there, and the other landed on his chest.

His lips felt so natural and comfortable against mine and I was completely and utterly addicted, so much so that we continued to kiss for the next hour. By the end of that hour, we were lying together on my bed, him holding me in his arms and my arms were wrapped tightly around his bare stomach. My neck was stretched slightly to reach his lips, because I was too damn short. We pulled away from each other and we quietly hugged for a while. My head was on his naked chest, my thigh resting on his hips just below his belt buckle and I just sat there peacefully without a care in the world.

"My question earlier...what are we going to do about this...I was referring to me and you..."

"I think I knew that." I replied, smiling. "I wasn't really listening though."

"You should try and listen to me more often. You might learn something from me."

"Learn something from you? Like that's going to happen." I retorted.

"Oooooohhh…that's harsh." he said.

"You have seen me act harsher." I replied.

"Good point. Budapest was a good example and knocking some sense into me, literally, wasn't exactly the nicest sparring session that I have had with you."

"I didn't want to. You know that I didn't have a choice." I argued.

"Yeah, I know. I am just jesting." he chuckled, the laughter from his chest also making my head move.

"You know, I was going to speak to you about dating someone else."

"Like you did with Cap? Thought that was going to put a barrier between you and him huh?"

"I never wanted a barrier between me and Steve. We are just friends, honestly."

"Whatever you say." he joked. "Thought you were going to put a barrier between me and you?"

"I think so…" I said, placing my chin on his chest, so I could see his face. "I never wanted a romantic relationship with you. It was not part of my plan. I thought I would be killed before I would have the chance to grow old." I explained, revealing what I have never revealed to anyone. "Occasionally, I had that thought of...of…"

"Me and you being together?" he asked, almost reading my mind. I nodded and he continued. "I know some things are difficult for you to come to terms with and that's fine. Just don't ignore me again." he said, almost as a plea. "Promise?"

I smiled at him. "I promise. I won't ignore you." I said and reached up to kiss his lips once more. His arms came around me and I kissed him harder.

There was a knock at the door and I got up off of Clint quicker than a lightening bolt. I got him up off the bed and pushed him into the bathroom. "Stay here." I ordered quietly, to make sure that no one heard me.

"But-" he argued, but I slammed the door in his face and went over to straighten the bed. I heard the knocking again as soon as I finished and I went to open it.

"Rogers." I greeted, holding the door open with one hand and another was on the door frame, trying to imply that he couldn't come into my room. I was very protective over my privacy so he wouldn't think this was abnormal behaviour compared to my usual self.

"Romanoff. Have you seen Barton? A message was sent to his room, but he hasn't replied."

"He is in here." I said. Reviewing my words, I realised that they were not the best vocabulary selection. "We were going over the mission brief." I added, appealing to his interests. That is the kind of thing that Rogers would want us doing for a mission instead of kissing.

"Really? Where?" he asked, looking into my room to try and find him.

"He's in the bathroom at the moment. What did you want to talk to him about?"

"We need him to land the plane." he said, looking curiously at me. I dismissed it and continued.

"Sure. I'll tell him once he is finished. See you in five." I said and shut the door after he nodded in understanding.

I walked back into the room and he came out of the door. I picked up his shirt, shoved it against his chest and said "You need to go to the front of the plane. Steve wants you to pilot."

"Got it." he said, putting on the shirt I threw at him.

"You leave before me. It will draw less attention." I explained and gathered his documents to give to him. I handed them to him, but he took them and put them on the side of my table. He picked me up in his arms and pulled me into a heated passionate kiss, surprising me slightly. Well, that's not going to distract me or anything.

I giggled and pulled him closer, but then stopped suddenly. "Did you just giggle?" he asked, smiling at my actions. I had never done that before and I was kind of embarrassed, but of course I wouldn't show it.

"No, I didn't. You must be hearing things." I said and handed him the files containing the mission. "Now get out." I said strictly.

He laughed slightly, taking the files this time, and left my bedroom. I took a deep breath and gathered my files before heading out the door. I admit, the idea of a relationship scared me...but the idea of it being a secret brought me some comfort. Clint had always been so caring for me. I always liked everything about him, which obviously helped the attraction towards him. Our little kissing sessions that have been happening recently made me feel happier about me and Clint. I felt more confident in my body image if I'm honest. He knew about the scars from the Red Room, but I always had the impression that he hated them. I was so nervous about undressing infront of him and now I feel more at ease. Whenever in the future that I do take off my clothes with him, I know that he will respect me and not think of me as some kind of freak. I tried to hide the smile that that thought brought to my lips as I walked up to the room containing the team.

 **Thank you for reading this chapter :) It was quite a long one, but I said it would be worth it. Find out how the mission goes on the next chapter and whether Clint and Natasha's actions will affect what happens in the future? PLEASE REVIEW!**

 **\- If you have any more ideas then message me! :)**

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	13. The Real You

**Previously:**

 **I giggled and pulled him closer, but then stopped suddenly. "Did you just giggle?" he asked, smiling at my actions. I had never done that before and I was kind of embarrassed, but of course I wouldn't show it.**

" **No, I didn't. You must be hearing things." I said and handed him the files containing the mission. "Now get out." I said strictly.**

 **He laughed slightly, taking the files this time, and left my bedroom. I took a deep breath and gathered my files before heading out the door. I admit, the idea of a relationship scared me...but the idea of it being a secret brought me some comfort.**

I made my way towards the main room, where we get ready to leave the plane, and saw the others standing there around the table. "Where have you been? Playing monopoly or something?" Tony asked.

"I was looking over the mission briefing." I replied. I saw Clint look back at me from the piloting desk and smile lightly. I didn't return it in case the other Avengers saw me doing so. I also noticed that it was just becoming dark. It was about 7pm.

"Good to know." Steve said. "Once we touch down, we need to move fast. Maria and Nat take grappling hooks with an extended rope so you can hook them onto the rooftop and abseil down to the ground with me." he explained and we followed his orders. "Clint, Thor and Tony take it from the top. Go straight to floor 11 and get Ward. Bring him to extraction alive, not dead. Him dying will mean that we will have no leads as to...where to find Bucky." he said, emotionally. Hopefully he didn't become compromised. Maria kissed his cheek lightly and he smiled. I could see that she relaxed him and his mind slightly. She was good for him. "Thor, Iron Man and Nat you take out the guards. Clint, Maria and me will deal with Ward. Got it? Comms on everybody and get into place."

We all nodded and got into our positions as soon as Clint landed the plane. I took a deep breath and switched on my communicator. I looked over at Clint who was already on the other side of the helicarrier, ready for the doors to be opened. He tensed and untensed his fists a couple of times. He always did that before a mission. I think it was his way of steadying himself and not getting distracted as well as preparing his fingers and arms to fire arrows.

"Let's go!" Steve shouted and the doors opened. Our attachment hooks were already clasped onto our belts, so we just attached them to the side of the building and quickly abseiled down. Once we reached the ground, we quickly unclipped ourselves, sending the hooks back up to the top of the building to be collected later, and ran into the hotel. They had already been called about the situation and telephoned each room about it, telling them to evacuate the building, one room at a time so it did not look suspicious. Ward probably heard the sound of the elevator on the top of the building and was probably already trying to escape.

"Widow, take the lift. Me and Maria will take the stairs." Steve ordered and ran off with Maria.

"How come we have to take the stairs?" I heard Maria ask Steve whilst running.

"I'll carry you. Don't worry." he said and I heard a small squeak from Maria, indicating that she was being carried.

"Sounds like you're having a lot of fun Steve." Tony commented.

"It is for the efficiency of the mission Stark." he said as the elevator started going up.

"Whatever you say lover boy." I could almost see his smirk from here. The elevator stopped at the eleventh floor and I pulled up my gun, ready to take on Ward if he was waiting for the lift.

The doors opened and Ward was standing there, gun pointed at me too. "Nice to see you again Widow." Ward smirked, but his fake happy face dropped. "Now put down the fucking gun."

"You first." I said and exited the elevator so it didn't make for an awkward confrontation where the elevator door would keep shutting.

"Not gonna happen." he said pacing around me. It was a pretty big corridor. I heard the stair doors open and I spun round, thinking it was one of the guards, but it was just Steve and Maria. However, before I knew what was happening, Ward had a gun to my head. _Shit._ I cursed in my mind. "Nice to finally meet you Mr. Rogers. Never had the pleasure of meeting a super soldier like yourself. Well a less advanced one called Bucky Barnes but…" At the mention of Bucky, Steve's body went rigid, as did mine slightly. "You know he told me about you. Always being an idiot, getting into trouble, couldn't punch to save you life before the serum happened." he said and I could tell Steve was getting angrier by the minute.

"Steve…" Maria said so quietly that I could only hear it through the comms. She laced her hand in his and stroked it lightly. "Just stay calm." she whispered.

"Awww. How sweet." Ward said sarcastically, smiling sickly. His face dropped and I wonder what caught him. "You know, I used to have a girlfriend." he said.

"Skye?" Maria asked.

"Kara. You want to know what happened to her?" he asked and I could feel his heartbeat get faster against my back. "She died with her lungs filled with blood." He turned his head, so that he was looking at Maria. "I should've taken you as a hostage instead. Would've been much more entertaining to see the super-soldier crying in front of his girlfriend." He pushed the gun further against my head.

"Oh well, the Widow will have to do." he laughed. _Okay, he is definitely insane._

"What do you want with me?" I asked.

"Oh no, it's not what I want. It's what the Winter Soldier wants. He wants to work for HYDRA and we want him to. He is currently doing so, but only under the impression that you are coming back to him."

"You planned this?"

"Of course not, but you know it's funny how this world works." he said, chuckling. Clint, Tony and Thor came through the other door that was directly behind us. Ward spun round so he could see them, but still had the view of Cap and Maria - we were side in the corridor. I wasn't worried that I was going to die. Ward was an idiot.

"Let her go." Clint said, through gritted teeth, and he couldn't take his eyes off of me.

"Ah...who needs the iceberg and Agent Chill when you have the Hawk and his crazy girlfriend?"

"Don't you dare call her crazy." Clint said.

"We haven't started on the real degrading names yet and he's already getting upset." Ward told me, laughing near my ear.

"We won't even get to those names." he said and shot an arrow before Ward's feet. He didn't even flinch.

"Is that supposed to do some-" Ward was cut off by a high pitched sound that only he could hear. Our ear pieces protected us against the noise. The distraction allowed my to flip Ward over me and onto his back.

I picked up Clint's arrow and threw it back to him. "Good shot." I complimented and he smiled.

Me, Thor and Tony went into the guard's' room and found them packing up some other stuff as the team were arresting Grant. There were six of them and they all immediately had their guns trained on us. "Excuse me men, but I'm afraid we will have to take those packages off of your hands." The men laughed, but still kept their guns locked.

"Well then, if you're going to be like that…" Tony said, putting his robotic hands in the air. "we'll just have to take them by force.

I ran up to the nearest guard, who tried to shoot me in the face, but completely failed and actually ended up hitting Tony's suit, as I ducked. "Sorry Stark." I said, punching the guard in the stomach.

I kneed him in the face as Iron Man replied "Don't worry. I will make you pay for it." Twisting his neck, I was punched in the face by another HYDRA agent who also slashed my stomach with a knife.. I targeted my foot against his ankles, knocking him down, and kicked him in the stomach. I got down and punched him in the face, but he grabbed me and turned me over, so he was on top of me. He punched the side of my face that was undamaged, which made me very unhappy, so I kneed him in the balls and punched his left temple, knocking him unconscious.

Getting up, I brushed myself down and looked at the other dead guards. "High five." Stark said, to me, but I ignored him and went outside. I heard a big clap behind me as Thor's palm sent shock waves through Tony's suit. I heard a little "Ow." from Tony, but I couldn't imagine how much that hurt.

When I returned to the corridor, Ward was in handcuffs and being taken to the stairway by Steve. "Grab all the files and then lets go." he ordered and we all followed what he said. There weren't that many black boxes of files to carry so we did it in one trip. "I've sent in sweepers to dispose of the bodies." Steve said, an element of sadness in his voice. He never did like the thought of killing people even though he really wanted to be in the war business. I remember his flle stating that in his interview to be a soldier, when he was asked whether he wanted to kill Nazis, he replied "I don't want to kill anyone. I don't like bullies; I don't care where they're from." Such an inspiration to people.

"Get the hooks and let's go." Steve said to me and got into the plane along with everyone else. Clint flashed me a small smile before joining them. I can't believe how pure he is...compared with someone like me especially. He doesn't deserve me. He deserves someone way better.

I went to pick up the last hook, hurting slightly from the knife wound that I had gotten earlier, but noticed someone crossing the street with one of the cases wearing the same uniform as the guards. Without thinking, I clipped the rope to my belt and abseiled down the building. I ran across the street, following him, and said "Guys, there is a guard running down the street with another brief case. I think this one might be important seeing as it is one of the only one's left. The bastard must have left before anyone else."

"Lady Romanoff, where are you?" Thor asked.

"I am in pursuit." I replied. "Home in on my signal." The agent turned down an alleyway and I stopped just before the turning. I looked down the alleyway secretively and saw him open the briefcase. I pulled up my gun and said "STOP! Put your hands behind your head and get onto your knees."

The man was in a black balaclava, only allowing me to see his mouth, but I could fully see the smug smile on his face.

"Why don't you put your hands behind your head and get onto your knees. We can play a little game then." he replied, smiling. Bucky...

"I do not want to play by your games any longer Bucky." I said. The briefcase was open, but I could not see its contents because it was faced towards him.

"You do. And you will. You will be with me again." he said, stepping towards me with his hands in his pockets, leaving the briefcase on the ground.

"That is never going to happen." I said. "I will never come back to you. You changed and I cannot make you turn back to the person you were. Before you took over everything, I did love you." I added, thinking about how peaceful he was before. "But after you decided to destroy yourself, I knew that I could no longer be with you."

"Black Widow…it's my fault you have that name. I don't want you to remain in the dark or be that Widow any longer."

"It's who I am now." I replied, as he was an arms distance apart from me.

"Oh you will be here once more." he said and quickly pulled his hand up. Because of his electronic arm, his movements were much faster. I looked at my forearm and noticed a needle sticking out of it. "The real Black Widow will be here again. The real you will be here again." he repeated and I knew what he meant.

"No…" I said, panicking slightly. "No…no you can't have...you can't…." I tried to get my words out, but I couldn't believe what was happening. I pulled the syringe out of my arm and felt the pain course through my veins.

"Accept it Natalia." he said, disappearing into the shadows as I fell to my knees. "Accept who you really are." were the last words I heard before blackness filled the alleyway. My eyes felt open, but black invaded them. The serum spread through my veins like fire and I screamed out. Thor landed in front of me, carrying Clint and then Iron Man came, carrying Maria and Steve. They rushed over and I got out my knife immediately.

"You will die." I said, smiling. "You vile Avengers."

"Natasha?" Clint asked and took a step towards me. Big mistake. I ran up to him quickly and raised my knife, reading to pierce his neck, but a metallic object hit me in the face, sending me to the ground, unconscious.

 **A couple of hours later**

"Nat?" someone asked, but I felt too tired to respond to whoever it was. "Natasha?" the voice asked again and this time I couldn't stay with my eyes closed. It was almost pulling me towards the light.

"Nat…" the voice said again and I opened my eyes, realising that it was Clint. _Towards the light of a hospital room then._

"Hey." I replied, sat up and looked around to find the source of the voice, but no one was there. I realised that my wrists were bound to the chair. "Hey, where are you?"

"Don't worry, you're not dreaming about me."

"Like I would ever." I replied. That um….that's never happened in the past…..nope.

"You are in the med ward at the Tower."

"No shit." I said.

"Do you remember the hotel mission?"

"Yeah, we've got Ward right?"

"Yeah, we've got Ward, but do you remember going after someone else who was running away from the building when you were packing up the hooks attached to the rooftop?"

"Of course I do. That was Bucky. He was carrying a case containing a set of syringes, filled with...something." There was silence across the room and I wondered what had happened to Clint, but he soon spoke up.

"Bucky? Bucky was there?" Clint asked.

"He's the one who had the briefcase. My thought is that all the guards were secretly heads of HYDRA. They thought that Ward was the least valuable, considering he is the newest member, so they sent him out, after the Winter Soldier, because he has less skills than Bucky. That's why he was dressed in civilian clothing. They knew he wouldn't stand a chance out there if he was caught, so he was sent out, after the person who could defend themselves the most."

"Good hypothesis." was the only thing he could reply with.

"Why am I in here?" I asked. "Why am I strapped down and why is there a tube running from my body?"

"All those questions have the same answer. You were...you were injected with the Red Room's Black Widow serum." he said and my breath hitched. They were trying to make me back into who I used to be...back into Natalia Romanova. Well that was not going to happen.

"Did I hurt anyone?" I asked, immediately realising how caring I sounded.

"No one was hurt. Cognitive recalibration. Mjolnir hit you really hard on the head." He laughed. "You couldn't kill me if you tried." he said, smugly.

"Then why am I still hooked up if I don't want to kill you?"

"We have to make sure that it is out of your system. Should take a couple more minutes. There is only 2% left in your bloodstream."

"Okay. You get anywhere with Ward?" I asked.

"Not yet, but Maria has a plan"

"Really? What is it?"

"We're bringing in Coulson."

"Why?"

"It's all part of the-" he said, but stopped and I wondered where he went.

"Clint?" I asked, wondering where he has gotten to. Maybe there was a glitch in the system.

The door opened and Clint came over. "All done." He smiled at me as he reached down and undid the straps around my hands and feet. Feeling his thumb stroke my hand brought comfort to me. He smiled as he slowly undid the buckles holding me down, finishing on the one restraining my right hand. His fingers curled around my wrist, rubbing where the shackles had been.

"You feeling okay?" he asked as I reached my hand out to take his wrist.

"I am alright. Thank you." I replied as our hands joined to hold each others. "There's no one outside is there."

"Just me and you. I told Jarvis to tell me when someone comes this way." he said, kissing my hand. He kissed up my arm, over my shoulder and up my neck. I sighed peacefully and kissed his lips as soon as I could.

"I've missed you." I smiled, pressing my hand against his cheek and stroking over it

"I've missed you too." he replied and kissed my softly, almost not touching my lips at all.

"Mr. Barton, Miss Romanoff. Mr. Rogers and Ms. Hill are set to exit at this floor." he pulled back, his eyes still shut, and sighed.

"Great." he said sarcastically. "Lets go." he said, grabbing my hand and helping me up. Once I stood up, holding my stomach slightly, I noticed that I was wearing a white crop top, showing off my toned, but scarred, abs, a white bandage around my stomach and a white skirt.

"Errrr...when did I get changed? And more importantly who got me changed?"

"Umm…" he said, looking at the ground. "About two hours ago...and it was...umm….it was me..."

I raised an eyebrow. "You undressed me and got me into these clothes?"

"The others suggested it." he said, immediately arguing his case.

"Sure they did." I said, sounding like I didn't believe him. I knew he wouldn't do it unless he had to.

"Don't w-worry. I...I mean I didn't look or anything and anyway you were wearing underwear. I wasn't paying any a-attention to what you were w-wearing or...um...anything. I just mean I didn't look at you and-"

"Clint!" I said, trying to silence him my voice and a death glare. "It's fine. Also, I don't blame you for looking…" I smiled and strutted past him, collecting my clothes that were on side on the way out.

I exited the room and saw Steve and Maria coming towards us.

"Looking better I see." Steve said, smiling. Although his sentence seemed harmless, Maria did not find it the same way.

"Hey!" she warned.

His eyes widened and he said frantically "I didn't m-mean about her state of dress, I meant about her medical health." Maria chuckled slightly and tapped his chest.

"I know, sweetie." she said, smiling. "Are you feeling better though?" she asked me.

"Much better, thank you, but I need to change into my own clothes. I know that my wounds had to be fixed and that involved my catsuit being taken off, but I need to put on some normal clothes." I said and went into the group changing rooms on this floor.

I took off the crop top and skirt that I was in and observed myself in the mirror. I did have an attractive body, but that's because of the serum from the red room. Clint seemed attracted to me and to be honest there was no reason not to. I had the perfect curves on my body and a brilliant complexion, but my mind...my mind was different. I felt like I had a different mind-set compared to everyone else. I felt like my thought processes were abnormal. I would never fit in with the other Avengers. No matter how much I trained my body, no matter whether I was as good as the others...I would never be the same as them.

The mark across my stomach was still inflamed and there was a couple of blood specks on the wrapped bandage. I reached down to touch it, but my hand was stopped by someone else's. It was Clint. He wrapped his hand around mine and put his other hand on my shoulder.

"Have you been watching me?" I asked, as he came behind me, his chest slightly pressed against my back.

"Have you been crying?" he shot back, taking the hand from my shoulder and wiping a tear of my face. I didn't even realise that I had been crying.

"I didn't even know." I admitted and leant back against his chest. "But have you been watching me though?"

"No, I came in after knocking about five times." he said. "I was worried about you."

His cheeks flushed red slightly and I turned around to face him. "That's cute." I said and kissed his lips quickly. I was pulling away, but he pulled me close to him, his chest against mine. He smashed his lips against mine and I moaned in delight. I never thought that he could be so forward.

His hands touched all over my body and he had never made me feel more alive. He leant me down on one of the benches and buttered kisses down my neck and chest. I shivered from the sensation, but it made my stomach sting and I hissed harshly.

He looked up at me and asked "What is it?"

I held my hand out for him to pull me up and he did so. "Can we leave the serious making out session until my stomach is healed a bit?"

He looked shocked and immediately apologised. "Oh my God. I am so sorry Nat. I didn't think and I'm really sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"No, no. I'm really sorry. I was just thinking about…" he stopped himself and went wide-eyed.

"Thinking about what?" I asked, smirking slightly. Was he thinking about...stuff?

"No, I wasn't thinking about anything." he said quickly.

"So you weren't thinking about me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I was." he said, but stopped himself again. "We um...we have an interrogation to be at…" He slowly started walking towards the door and I shook my head.

"You're not going anywhere." I said and scowled.

"Well, you're not dressed, so there is nothing you can do about it." he said, grabbing the door handle.

"Don't you dare." I said angrily.

"See you in the interrogation room." he smiled and exited. _God damn it._ I quickly got dressed, without tearing my stitches, and went to meet him in the room where Ward was being held.

 **Hope you liked this chapter :)**


	14. A Wish of the Heart

**Sorry for the shortness of this chapter!**

 **Previously:**

 **"We um...we have an interrogation to be at…" He slowly started walking towards the door and I shook my head.**

 **"You're not going anywhere." I said and scowled.**

 **"Well, you're not dressed, so there is nothing you can do about it." he said, grabbing the door handle.**

 **"Don't you dare." I said angrily.**

 **"See you in the interrogation room." he smiled and exited. God damn it. I quickly got dressed, without tearing my stitches, and went to meet him in the room where Ward was being held.**

"Tell me where Barnes is." I demanded, punching another fist into his face.

"Don't you think I've already had this treatment from every other agent in your facility." Ward spat back handcuffed to the interrogation table that was now mostly covered in his blood.

"But you haven't been interrogated by me yet." I said, smiling. Suddenly, a projection came up on the nearby wall. "What is this?" I asked curiously.

"This isn't you?" Ward asked. Clint entered the interrogation room and slammed his fists on the table.

"Tell me where the facility is or…" he said, looking over at the screen and pressing a button from a control in his hand. "she dies…" On the screen was Daisy Johnson, otherwise known as Skye.

"Clint, what are you doing?" I asked.

"What we need to do to get our information?"

"By killing? Even I know this is wrong." I said, but it was no use and he turned back to Ward. "Tell me where the facility is or she dies."

"I'm sorry, I think i've forgotten." he said, smugly. Clint leaned forward to his face.

"Let's make you remember then." he said and pressed a button on his remote control. We watched on the screen as an agent came forward and stabbed her in the stomach. I heard Ward's breath catch as he watched her, trying not to scream.

"CLINT, ARE YOU CRAZY!?" I screamed.

"TELL ME WHERE THE BASE IS!" Clint continued, not caring about Daisy at all.

"I don't know. Now stop hurting her." he said, anger straining through his voice.

"Fine." Clint said and hit another button. The guard punched Daisy in the face and she fell onto the floor.

"HELP ME!" she screamed out, coughing afterwards.

"Please! STOP DOING THIS!" Coulson shouted from the sidelines, who was being held back by Thor.

"CLINT STOP THIS!" I said, trying to take the control off of him, but he pushed me against the wall.

"Please, please stop hurting her." Ward begged. He really cared for her…the same way I care for Clint.

"He's talking sense. Just stop."

"No!" Clint shouted at me and then turned back to Grant. "I will get this information no matter what the cost."

"This is not what S.H.I.E.L.D is usually like." I said, trying to reason with him, but he wouldn't have it.

"Shut up! I don't care anymore." he said, pressing another button. "You've underestimated what lengths S.H.I.E.L.D will go to." On the screen, the guard put a gun to her head and Ward looked at Clint.

"Please, don't do this." he said. "She means everything to me. I don't know what I'll do without her."

"Give us the location." Clint pressed.

"CLINT! This is not the way!" I argued.

"Shut up Natasha!" he shouted and hit me round the face. "TELL ME!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Ward screamed back.

There was silence for a couple of seconds. Just silence. Clint clicked his earpiece. "Shoot her."

"NOOOO!" I shouted, but the gun shot went off anyway. Daisy fell to the floor on the screen and I fell to my knees. "Clint...how could you?" I asked him, wiping tears off my face.

Ward was completely broken, his eyes locked onto where her dead body lay. Coulson cried at the side of the video and Grant couldn't take it. "Berlin." he said quietly. "52.5167 degress North and 13.3833 degrees East. Where it all began…" he continued. "I have nothing else to live for. Just kill me now." He sounded so desperate.

Clint picked up his gun and held it to his chest. "As you wish." he said and shot him in the chest, the shot causing Ward's head falling onto the table.

Clint walked over to his body and checked for his pulse. He lifted one of his eyelids and said, over the comms, "He's out."

I got up and scowled at Clint. "Did you really have to slap me so hard?"

"I had to make it convincing. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. Now let's just get his body out of here." I said, walking over to Ward. Me and Clint carried him outside, put him in handcuffs and placed him on a chair.

"How long does that sedative knock him out for?" May asked, walking over to us.

"At least a couple of hours." Clint replied. "Well that's what Stark said.

"Good." she replied and then punched him in the face. "I'll be on the helicarrier." she said and left us with that.

"He's going to have a lovely set of bruises when he wakes up." Clint chuckled as we walked towards the others who were coming towards us from the interrogation room where Daisy was shot.

"Brilliant acting skills by the way." Coulson said to Daisy as he came over. "Hey guys. Thor really does have a grip on him doesn't he." he added and rubbed his arms, faking pain of being held by him.

"He is a God. It's kind of what is expected." I replied.

"I should've been held by Cap." he said, smiling. "Anyway, you sure you guys can keep Ward locked up for a while?"

"It's fine. We've got lots of holding cells for him to spend his time thinking about life in." Clint smiled.

"Can I just say that it is such an honour to meet you guys?" Daisy said, extending her hand to us that was covered in fake blood. "Whoops sorry." she said and offered us the other hand that was cleaned. "My name is Daisy-"

"Johnson." I finished, shaking her hand. "We've heard a lot about you."

"Really?" she asked, surprised. "You have secret chats with Coulson a lot or something?"

"I read over your file the other day. It's some pretty impressive skills you have there." Clint commented. "It's amazing how talented you are. I'm sure that Cap will want to recruit you one day."

"You really think so?" she asked excitedly.

"Hang on, you're not taking her away from the team." Coulson said, frowning.

"Don't worry. We'll wait a couple of years. You will be truly dead by then old man." Clint smiled and Coulson punched his arm playfully.

"I'm not old yet." he warned, glaring at Barton. "Anyway, where is Stark? I need to speak to him about our helicarrier."

"I think he's in the kitchen." Clint said.

"As usual." I added and they both left after saying goodbye to us. "Good to know that he is alive."

"Yeah. I'm happy that he didn't die by Loki's hand. Damn it, I want that demi-God dead." Clint said, angrily.

"Believe me, we all do." I agreed and walked with him to the lift.

"Hey, when d'you think we'll be leaving for the co-ordinates?"

"I don't know. Maybe later today?"

"Later today?" he asked. "It's nearly half eleven." I looked down at my watched and saw the time 22:24.

"Wow. I was asleep for a while."

"Scared the life out of me." He huffed out a laugh, but I could tell that he was worried about me.

"I'm better now." I assured him.

"Well that's all that matters." he said smiling at me. I stared at him for a second, really observing the way he held himself for some reason. He had brilliant posture, but weighted himself slightly to his left, because of an injury sustained from a mission with me a couple of years ago. Why am I thinking about this? I think I was always attracted to Clint..I just never wanted to admit it.

The elevator pinged and I snapped out of my trance, exiting with Clint to find Coulson talking with Steve and Maria. "I can't believe you didn't tell me." Phil said to Maria, punching her arm lightly.

"Well, we knew that you would freak out." she replied, smiling.

Coulson looked like he was in heaven. "One of my closest friends and my hero, together at last."

"What do you mean at last?" Steve asked and Coulson went wide-eyed.

"Fury and me kind of had bets on you two." he admitted and me and Clint giggled slightly.

"Talking of that bet…"Clint started, holding out his hand. "You owe me twenty for saying that they wouldn't get together before Christmas."

"Damn it." Coulson said and gave Clint the twenty dollars.

"Actually, can I talk to you two?" Steve asked, pointing at me and Clint.

"Umm...sure?" Clint said as Cap walked past us, indicating for us to follow him. Me and Clint gave an unsure, nervous looked to each other and then looked back at Maria and Coulson who just gave comedic scared looks at us. I rolled my eyes and we went to join Roger's in an abandoned corridor Steve had selected.

"What is it Cap?" Barton asked and I raised my eyebrows, showing the same confusion.

"I saw the shirt on your floor Romanoff." he said. What?...Steve saying that almost made my insides explode and splatter all over the glass floor.

"And…" Clint said. _How could he be so calm about this?_

"I'm guessing you want it kept a secret?" he asked and Clint nodded. "It's fine, just don't let it interfere with missions. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Clint said and smiled at Steve. Steve nearly walked past us, but stopped Clint by the arm.

"I'm happy for you two by the way." he said, looking at both of us. He smiled and walked off.

"How did that go that smoothly?" I asked. "What if we do become compromised in the field? This could end terribly."

"Or it could go brilliantly." he said and kissed my nose lightly. "Think about it. Not dating me wouldn't change your feelings and even if your feelings changed, you are compromised by us just being friends, so technically it won't make a difference." He actually has a good point. He held my hand reassuringly and smiled.

"Man of Hawk and Lady Widow." Thor's voice boomed through the corridor. He was there by the doors, smile beaming out at us. For goodness sakes. These interruptions need to stop. "Such a happy occasion must be celebrated!" he said, walking up to us. "We must tell the other's immediately."

"Wait, Thor!" Clint stopped him, almost not being able to hold him back. "We're not telling anyone just yet."

"Ahh!" Thor said in understanding. "The love must be secret to exist until it finds it's time to share."

"Yeah…" I said. "That is exactly what it is. Wait!" I said, suddenly becoming a bit flustered. "I didn't mean the love bit. We are not in love."

Thor looked between me and Clint. "Whatever you say Lady Natasha." he said, smiling. "I shall leave you in peace." he said and nodded a goodbye. How come people keep finding out? We need to be more careful.

"Back to before...okay…" I said. "but we're not telling anyone still."

"Fine by me." he said, smiling, but I could tell he wasn't completely happy.

"Hey, what is it?" I asked, catching him before he could leave.

"I just...I want everyone to know you are mine. I know that sounds possessive, but you are so beautiful and talented and I just...I want everyone to know how much I-" he stopped himself. "I want everyone to know how much I care about you."

"I can't let everyone know just yet. Is that okay?" I asked, letting go over the fact that he hesitated.

"That's fine." he said, smiling. "I'd rather have you in secret than not have you at all."

I chuckled slightly and we went back to join the others. "You have a plan Steve?" Tony asked, also joining us, along with a glass of something..

"We'll leave tomorrow at 6."

"6am or 6pm?"

"6am, Tony." Tony groaned and Pepper took the alcohol off of him.

"No." she told him.

"I knew it would be a mistake marrying you." Tony said, only joking, but Pepper glared at him.

"Why do I put up with you huh?" she asked herself, as well as him.

"Because you love me." Stark replied and lightly kissed her lips. "And the financial benefits." She rolled her eyes at that and then we returned to the conversation.

"6am on the rooftop. Get all your weapons before unless they have been preloaded on to the ship. Hawkeye, your bow and arrows are up there and Stark, there is a suit up there for you to use, but I think the rest of us need to bring up our equipment. There should be a few guns up there, but obviously bring your own weapons selected to you. I would suggest everyone sleep now, because we need to be ready for tomorrow." Steve ordered. "See you tomorrow." he finished and walked back to the rooms.

Everyone else followed suit and I was about to from the back of the group, but Clint stopped me slightly. "Are you tired?" he asked.

"Not one bit." I replied, smiling, as we made our way back to my room. I opened the door and we walked over to the sofa.

"I mean, I never thought marriage and Tony would be two consolidating items, but he loves Pepper." Clint said.

"Yes, I am really happy for them." I replied, smiling at him, as we sat down together.

"You think you'll ever be like that one day?" he asked and I shook my head.

"I can never be like that." I said and he looked at the floor. "If that makes you uncomfortable, then you can end this relationship if you would like?" The thought of not being with Clint did affect me, but it was his decision.

"No, no definitely not. I mean, unless you want to, which is fine, but I didn't want to...you know it's you-" I shut him up, as much as I could anyway, with a kiss. It started light and I felt my stomach flutter slightly, not that I would ever tell him or anyone that information. He leant me down on the sofa and kissed me harder, almost desperate to do so. He was kissing me so hard and I could hardly breathe, so I had to push him back slightly.

"Clint, stop!" I said, holding him back.

His breathing was heavy and he hardly had the energy to apologise. "Sorry, I just...got a bit...carried...away…."

"Yeah, just a bit." I replied and sat up, next to him. He sat up too and I put my head against his chest. "I'm sorry, Clint. It's just too much right now." I said, feeling very comfortable against him. It is like he is my new personal mattress, almost better. The movement of his chest going up and down on a cycle relaxed me and I felt something I have never felt in a long time...peace.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to stop." he admitted and I nodded.

"It's okay." I replied and we just sat there in heaven for the next half an hour, before I said "We should go to sleep."

"I know." he said and we got up. I walked him over to the door and before opening it said "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked.

"For being here with me." I replied and smiled slightly. I kissed his cheek lightly and opened the door for him. "Goodnight Clint."

He stared into my eyes and smiled. "Goodnight Natasha."

 **Read the next chapter to find out what happens on the mission. Hope you liked this one :) PLEASE REVIEW!**

 **Thank you MiniM236, GabycatStark13, tigerlilies-and-superheroes and Qweb for reviewing this story. :) I really appreciate it.**


	15. Daydreams

**Previously:**

" **We should go to sleep."**

" **I know." he said and we got up. I took him to the door and before opening it said "Thank you."**

" **For what?" he asked.**

" **For being here with me." I replied and smiled slightly. I kissed his cheek lightly and opened the door for him. "Goodnight Clint."**

 **He stared into my eyes and smiled. "Goodnight Natasha."**

I woke up at 4:30 the next morning. No alarm, no wake up call, just natural instinct. We woke up at 4:30 every morning in the Red Room, so this morning wasn't any different. I had a shower to get rid of the sweat from my daily nightmare and got changed into my gym gear. My wound felt much better and I was definitely able to fight with the team against Bucky.

I walked through the corridor, into the kitchen, to find Pepper stroking Tony's back. "Am I interrupting something?" I asked and their heads snapped up.

"Tony was screaming in his sleep."

"Pepper!" Tony groaned and put his head in his hands.

"Honey, you knew people were going to start finding out eventually."

"Eventually? When has this been happening since?" I asked.

"After the battle of New York. Even one of his suits attacked me."

"Why didn't you tell us?" I asked him, coming over to join him on one of the chairs.

"I didn't want to feel stupid. People don't get nightmares unless their about five years old." he explained. "I'm not a box of steel like you."

"You think I don't get nightmares? I get them every night."

"Every night?" he asked, surprised.

"Every single night. Sometimes they are right at the beginning of the night so that I'm not covered in sweat in the morning. Some happened the whole night so I wake up and have to shower immediately. Occasionally...they get so bad that I cry out. We all have our demons Tony."

"But you don't understand. I need to fix this world. It's not protected enough from all the threats out there."

"Stark, you shoudn't bring that burden upon yourself. That's what we are all here for. However, no matter how much we try, we can never make the Earth one hundred percent safe."

"I can try." he said, pressing a button underneath the table. It caused a bottle of alcohol to be brought up through the table. I grabbed the bottle and placed it on another table surface.

"JARVIS, stop giving Tony alcohol for at least the next two weeks."

Of course, Miss Romanoff."

Tony glared at me. "This is not good for me."

"No, drinking yourself to death is not good for you." Pepper said, kissing the side of his head. "Please stop trying to be so responsible."

"It definitely doesn't suit you." I said and he chuckled.

"Me and responsibility? I've got Pepper to be responsible for me." he said and she kissed his cheek.

"Then explain why you feel like this."

"Loki. He took Clint, brainwashed hundreds of others and nearly killed Pepper."

"He did?"

Pepper looked up at me. "I was watching Tony on the screen one minute and then there were security alarms ringing in the plane. There were chitauri heading straight for us." I could see tears forming in her eyes. "I thought I was going to die. I thought I was never going to see Tony again. That was my biggest fear." she admitted and he took her hand. "You saved me Tony. Can't you just live with the fact that you saved the world. You don't need to keep doing it. I can't have you hurt. Especially now that we are going to get married." she said, breaking down into tears.

He hugged her and whispered "It's okay, I promise I won't get killed. I'll always be here for you. Always." he said and kissed her head as she wept into his chest.

"What about the death note?" I asked, hoping that I didn't overstep a line.

"She's leaving tonight." Tony answered for her, knowing that she was too upset to reply. "With a couple of days left, I don't want to put anything to chance. I'm going with her."

"Just try and get some sleep Tony." I said to him, trying to persuade him to calm down.

"See that's the problem. I can't stop having these visions. The world gets invaded by chitauri, the streets get invaded by HYDRA. All of the team...they're dead. I'm the only one left..and I can't...save the world." he said. I never thought I would see Tony this emotional. He never opens up to people, but this was the truth. "I look down at the pile of bodies decorating the streets and I know I can't save them. Pepper lies in front of me...her body as lifeless as a doll and I try...I try to bring her back, but it doesn't work. It's just silence throughout the streets. I turn around and find the team just lying there. All five of you lying there. Even Bruce is dead. He has shards of glass sticking out of his body and blood is just streaming down the pavements like water. Thor is face down on the ground, Mjolnir near his hand, but it's like he's lost the power to wield it. Steve is holding hands with Maria, but their bodies are covered in blood, her hair matted together and his arm is just red. You are will Clint, your hands together also...I notice...i notice his bow in his other hand, lying there between his palm and the concrete floor. I couldn't save you. I couldn't save any of you. I felt so...helpless. That's why I need to help. I can't have you or anybody else die because of me."

"But it's not your fault." I said back quietly, my voice affected by the emotion brought from his heart wrenching speech.

"I have the power to defend this world better and I should use it." he said, closing his eyes and holding Pepper closer.

I cleared my throat and said "Excuse me." politely. I pushed myself off of the stool and headed towards the rooms. I found myself at Clints door and knocked on it.

There was no response for a while, so I knocked again and this time I heard movement from behind it. The door opened and a scruffy looking Clint was standing there. He never appeared more Clint-like in his life. "Natasha?" he asked, his voice husky. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry to wake you." I said, my voice breaking slightly. He looked at me curiously and opened his door wider, inviting me into his room. I walked in and he shut his door behind me. I let the tears pour down my face, not allowing myself to cry out. I just shut my eyes and let the fall.

I felt Clints hand on my shoulder as he directed me to the sofa. He picked me up and held me in his lap. "What happened?"

"It's Tony. He says he wants to save everyone. He dreams about us all...dead...he just wants to save everything."

"And what is wrong with that…"

"It's like he won't stop until everything is perfect, when there are no threats. He's a danger to us. I can tell that now. One day I know that he will just go too far. He will create something and it will destroy us all instead of save us. It will either turn against us or get into the enemies hands...all I know is that he must be stopped. We need to change him."  
"Natasha, what the hell are you talking about here? You can't just change someone."

"You can try."

"Yes, but not morally. He is trying to save us. We just need to make sure he keeps his morals when he does it and it will all be okay. I'll observe him every second if you want me to, but we can't completely stop him from everything that he does." he said and I kept quite for a while. Tony was doing a good thing, but the nightmares were eating him up.

"Okay...but what are we suppose to do about his nightmares."

"Get him a psychiatrist?"

"Who would listen?"

"Bruce would…" he said and shook his head. "Sorry that's a stupid idea."  
"No, that might work. I will talk to him tomorrow about it." I said and snuggled further into Clint's chest. "Thank you. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay. I'm always here for you when you are upset." he said, making me realise that we were more of a couple than I thought. We were so dependent on each other and I didn't even know. _How did I not realise that?_ I stayed in his arms for an hour, at peace, not caring about the fact that we had a mission soon.

"We should probably get ready for the mission Nat." he said. I always liked that nickname.

"Okay." I said, swivelling my legs off of him. "Thank you for letting me stay."

"It's my pleaseure." he replied and led me to the door. "Come over whenever you want. I'm always here for you."

I nodded and kissed his cheek. "See you on the rooftop." I said and exited the room. I can't believe how fast things were going with us. I know that we hadn't gone very far sexually, but my relationship with him has definitely built. I just cried in front of him for a start. I've only done that a couple of times and that was because he had to be in the same room as me.

I bumped into Maria as I crossed the corridor and she smiled at me. "Congratulations." she said, smiling, looking from me to Clint's door and then back to me again. _Damn you Rogers._

"Steve tell you?" I asked and she nodded. I kind of expected him to.

"How could he not? It's Steve." she chuckled. "Anyway, is everything going okay?"

"Steadily I would say. Not to slow, not to fast. He seems to understand that I'm not used to this kind of thing."

"Well I'm happy for you two. You make a great couple."

"Oh wait, you know that we want to keep it a secret right?" I asked.

"I didn't know that. I told everyone in the meeting room." she said calmly. _WHAT!_ I panicked. How the hell am I supposed to deal with this? "I'm joking." she said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Your secret is safe with me." _Thank God._ Panic over!

"Okay, i'll see you on the rooftop in half an hour then?"

"You bet." she smiled and continued to walk down the corridor, probably on her way to talk to Steve about the mission. I entered my room and put on my suit. I was going to work out earlier and that's why I was in my gym clothes, but seeing Clint took up that time, not that I was upset about that.

I strapped my Widow Bracelets around my wrists and checked that I had a full set of bites. I walked out of the door and towards the roof. On my way to the elevator, I noticed the way that the city always seemed to be full of noise, never stopping. The city never sleeps speaks the truth about this place. Sometimes I wish that I didn't live here. Sometimes I wish I could just live in a small house somewhere with no worries in the world with Clint. If the world wasn't under this much threat then maybe I would, but I can't. I want to retire...I think I my mind I know that...but I just can't. Someone said to me that we've just had a bad day after we didn't complete one of our mission fully and I replied with "Every day is a bad day." They didn't hear me say it, but I didn't want them to. That would spark a debate and arguing with the team is a bad idea. It's true though. There seem to be no good days anymore. Some days are better than others, but none are good anymore. It's the one thing we can't stop. The darkness. I can almost feel it. Something bad is coming. Whether that comes from Tony's creations, like I was talking about earlier, or whether it be from a natural disaster, there is something coming to get us. And it will destroy us all. That's why I cannot leave. I'm stranded here almost. No breaks, no retirement, nothing. I blinked, remembering my place in the world, and went to the elevator. Stark was already in there, probably keeping the elevator open for me to join him.

"What were you doing back there?" he asked me as he pressed the button for the roof.

"Just daydreaming." I replied.

"I didn't think the Black Widow daydreamed."

"She doesn't. Natasha does. It's bad."

"I think it's good." he said and smiled. "How are you feeling? I'm sorry if I upset you earlier by the way Spidey."

"Quit it with the nickname and I am fine. What about you?"

"I'm good. Pepper worries about me too much."

"With good means. You've been having nightmares and you could be putting her in danger. She said that one of your suits attacked her."

"Yeah, I changed that protocole by the way."

"Whatever." I said and turned to him. "You need to be mentally stable."

"As do you." he snapped back. "We can't have you breaking down either."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "I would never break down in a mission or even around the team."

"That's the thing. You don't break down when you are around us. You don't let anyone into your life. Well, anyone but Clint."

"Clint is different."

"Are you dating him?" he asked, a slick grin rising on his face.

"No." I replied, firmly, acting slightly insulted by his question.

"Liar." was all he said and looked forward at the elevator doors.

"I don't date people. Anyway, Clint isn't like that."  
"So he is like a brother?"  
"Definitely not."  
"A friend?"

"Nope."

"He's not a friend?"  
"He's more than a friend."  
"So a best friend?" Tony asked in a sing-song tone.

I shook my head. "He's just different."

"Hmmm….I'll find out your secret one day Widow. One day." _Yeah right, like that's going to happen._ We exited the lift and saw all the current Avengers ready to get into the helicarrier. I glanced over at Clint who was tapping out some kind of rhythm on his thighs. He always did like music. I found out a couple of years ago that he was an incredible singer. "All ready?" Steve asked, having to shout because of the noise from the helicarrier, and the communication caused Clint's head to snap up out of his music trance.

I nodded and Tony replied "Ready as we will ever be."

"Good." he said. "Let's go."

"I can't wait to take this bastard down." Tony said to me as we entered the helicarrier.

"Just keep your head in the game Tony...and we will." I said, trying to straighten his head, and got onto 'the ship'.

We strapped ourselves into our chairs before Clint took the plane into the sky. I always liked takeoffs, something to start our energy up. Landings were also good, because you can let the anticipation build in your body while you are waiting for the doors to open so you can unleash hell.

When we were in the air, someone took over piloting and the team went over the schematics of the base, making sure that we knew where all the exits were and where the guards were stationed.

"Co-ordinates set for 52.5167 degress North and 13.3833 degrees East."

"Good. Now the guards go on a rotation every half hour. We are planning to attack just after they decide to change guards. Hawkeye you're at guard station 1, Widow 2, Iron Man 3, Thor 4 and I will be stationed at 5. We wait for the change, take out the entrance guards, go in, take out the HYDRA agents inside and then find Bucky. Whether he be in a cell, walking round or at the most guarded section of the base, you kill on site. That is the mission. Any discovery can come after taking him out."

"Rogers, are you sure?" Thor asked. "Loki was like a brother to me. He is dead and I am regretting my decisions still."

"No, Bucky has had enough chances. He threatened one of our own. It's personal." he said, looking directly at me. "He needs to be stopped. Most of the heads are cut off...he may be the last."

"Alright, well if I'm going to do this, I need a drink. JARVIS?" Tony asked, expecting a drink to pop out of the table. He turned to Steve. "What is this about?"

"Pepper permitted you drinking anything. There is no alcohol on the whole plane."

"But you know I work better after a drink." Tony whined.

"Last time, you had a few too many behind our backs and had an air guitar competition with one of the HYDRA agents." Clint argued.

"I totally won that game and I took him out...eventually." Tony smirked, slowly walking backwards.

"No alcohol and don't even think about going to change our course so that we can pick some up on the way." Steve said, making him stop.

"Damn it." Tony said, walking back to the group. "Back to boringville."

"Once Bucky has been aprehended," Steve reverted back to the original conversation. "we gather the information from their computer systems and Thor will light the place up. Hopefully that will rid the world of HYDRA."

"How dramatic." Tony said, sipping a glass of water he had gotten during the end of Steve's speech. "So that is where HYDRA ends huh...a Winter Soldier? Not a good title." Tony joked and went to sit in an area of the helicarrier, away from everyone else.

"JARVIS, keep an eye on him just in case he goes crazy." Steve said and walked out of the room also as the A.I. replied "Of course, Sir."

"I shall stay here and observe the weak points of the building. I need to locate the electronics room inside it. You two need to keep up your strength for battle." he said and bowed his head to us.

We bowed our heads back out of respect and went to the living room. When we got there, I instructed JARVIS to lock the door. He sat down on the sofa and I lay down, resting my calves on his thighs.

"I can't believe that Thor speaks that way." he said.

"Like he's receiting Shakespeare? It's just the way he was brought up I guess."

"Do you think Jane has taught him any new terms?" he asked and I smirked.

"Perhaps. We should arrange for her to come and see us again. We never see her that often."

"That's a good idea." he said and smiled. However, when we stopped talking, I noticed his smile fade and his eyes dropped to the floor.

"What is it?" I asked.

He looked at me inquisitively and said "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure…" I said. _What's up with him? Why is he acting so strangely? Whatever this question is, it means a lot to him._

"Would you be able to forgive Bucky for everything he did to you? I know that we were talking about Steve forgiving him for everything that he had done and Thor regretting Loki's death, but you've never talked about it with me. Do you think you would be able to let it go?"

"Why now?" I asked, stalling for time slightly as I tried to find the right words to explain.

"Because it seems appropriate. We are about to go into the field to take him down after all."

"We have hours."

"You know what I mean." he said and turned his head. "Could you forgive him?"

I sighed and shut my eyes. I opened them slowly, making direct contact with Clint's. "No. He killed my sister and nearly killed Pepper when he was trying to get to me. He wants me back in his life, but I don't want to be there."

He nodded and smirked. "Good. I don't want him here either."

I leaned up and rested my head on his chest. I felt him kiss my head and I smiled to myself. I felt so relaxed around him, like I could always be myself. Around the rest of the team, I put on an act - never scared, always lethal - but with Clint it is different. I know that that is the way you are meant to feel around 'the one', but I could honestly not imagine my life without him. _How did I become this dependant on someone else?_

"Are you happy with me?" I asked him, keeping my head where it was so I could hide my face.

"Of course I am. Why do you ask? Are you not happy with me?"

"I've never been happier. I was just wondering if you felt the same." I replied. "You've...you have changed me. I feel like I can talk to you about anything. I've never felt like that before. I feel vulnerable, but I don't care anymore."

"What are you saying?" he asked me and I pulled back, so I could look at him.

"I want to tell them." I said and sat there waiting for his response. His blank face wasn't exactly an indication of whether he had taken my statement positively or negatively.

"Are you sure?" he asked, smiling slightly, wondering whether to smile fully or not.

"I'm certain." I said. I think I had gotten to the point where it didn't matter anymore. People assumed we were together, so why does it matter if it's for certain. Clint was right. Our feelings are never going to change, so why hide them?

He sighed from relief and kissed my cheek. "I'm glad." Pulling me into a hug, he whispered "I can't wait to see Tony's face."

"Is that the only benefit?" I asked.

"Not the only one...but the main one." he said and I laughed. Once we pulled away from each other, we talked about the whole team and how their relationships were going. We even talked about May and Coulson and I sent a message to Maria for Jane to be sent over to the tower for our return. We discussed so much and before we knew JARVIS was over the speakers telling us that Steve was calling us in for a meeting. It was a supersonic helicarrier, which meant it only took an hour to get to Berlin.

"You ready?" he asked me and I linked my hand in his, knowing that the question was asking more than 'Are you ready to go?'

"Ready." I squeezed his hand gently as I unlocked the door and exited the room. By the time we got to the meeting room, Thor, Steve and Tony were already there. They turned around at our arrival and all three pairs of eyes shot down to where our hands were linked.

"Clintasha?" Tony asked and I rolled my eyes.

"No." I said and walked to the table, Clint holding my hand as we did. "Clint and Natasha. We are not having a ship name."

"Can I be an ass and say that I kind of like it?" Clint asked me and I glared playfully at him.

"Only if you buy me dinner."

"You didn't even need to threaten me." he said and kissed my lips softly.

"Urrrghhhh. Not in here guys." Tony said in disgust. "I am happy for you, but no kissing in our presence."

"Fine." Clint grunted and placed one hand on the table, still having one linked with mine.

"I am happy that you decided to finally reveal your emotions." Thor said smiling.

"Me too." Steve smiled.

"HANG ON! You guys knew about this?" Tony said, gesturing the mine and Clint's linked hands.

"Only for a few days." they said simultaneously.

"Unfair." Tony sulked.

"Back to the mission, is everyone prepared?"

We all nodded.

"Any questions?"

Tony put his hand up.

"Any questions unrelated to alcohol?"

Tony put his hand down.

"Good. Let's get prepared. Hawkeye, land the plane." he ordered and Clint kissed my hand before going to the control deck.

We waited in anticipation at the bay doors. Tony came to stand next to me, suited up, and said "I'm truly happy for you two. Me and Pepper have our happiness, so do Thor and Jane and Steve and Maria. It's good that you have someone."

"Thank you Tony."

"I'm still calling you Clintasha."

"Dammit." I said and turned to face the door as he laughed.

"Landing in 3...2...1…" Clint said over the comms. We landed and Clint rushed over as Rogers pressed the button to open the doors. It lifted up as Clint flicked his bow up to standard position.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Ready." he confirmed and smiled at me. We nodded to each other and ran out of the helicarrier.

 **Hope you liked this chapter :) Keep up the reviews!**


	16. James Buchannon Barnes

**Nearly done with this! Should only have a few chapters left. Uploading one every day to get it sorted so I can move onto the next story!**

 **Previously:**

 **"Landing in 3...2...1…" Clint said over the comms. We landed and Clint rushed over as Rogers pressed the button to open the doors. It lifted up as Clint flicked his bow up to standard position.**

 **"Ready?" I asked.**

 **"Ready." he confirmed and smiled at me. We nodded to each other and ran out of the helicarrier.**

All of us sprinted over to our assigned entrances, where we would wait for a signal from Steve to go out and attack out guards.

I got to my waiting spot and saw the guard still there. "Have we missed it?" I asked, over the comms.

"Any second now." Steve replied and I saw the guards switch. Steve waited a couple of seconds before ordering "3...2...1...attack."

I threw a widow bite at the arm of my target, so he couldn't contact anyone, as I ran up to him. As I was running, I saw Clint fire an arrow at the arm of his target, copying the same tactic as mine. I always say that he copies me. It makes me seem more intelligent. I smirked to myself as I punched my target in the face. I dragged him to the fire door and used his security card to open it. All the cameras had already been disabled by a bug Tony had put on the ceiling - the footage was put on a realistic repeat.

Once I dumped the body in a nearby storage cupboard, I made my way through the base, shooting down anyone in sight. My gun had a dampener on it, so it didn't alarm many people. The one's who were alarmed were quickly dealt with by me. As we made our way to the central hub, I saw Thor flying down the levels, heading towards the electronics room. Tony and Clint had the main priority of shooting down the guards where as me and Steve were on the job of searching for and killing Bucky.

As I made my way through the base, my bullet count was heading down, but I could take them out with my skills regardless so I wasn't worried. There were no guards down my section of the corridor and I reached a corridor with one door at the end of it.

"Found anything team?" I asked the group.

"Nothing." Steve replied.

"Nothing...but lots of...guards…" Clint struggled to say.

"You alright back there?" I asked him and I stopped walking, hesitant to go back.

"We're good here. Nearly finished with them anyway." Clint responded, more confidently.

"Good, just don't get killed."

"Don't worry honey. I won't" Tony said in a sarcastic tone.  
"Watch it Stark." I warned and drew up my gun as I walked down the corridor. The sounds of gunshots echoed in the distance as I continued to carefully walk down to the end door. "Steve, I may have found something." I reported.

He didn't respond for a while, which just made me curious. "Steve, I said I might have found something. Are you alright?" I asked, as I approached the end door. "Steve respond!" I near shouted as I smashed the door opened with a kick. I held my gun firmly in my hand and saw two people crouching down on the floor. As I got closer and made my way around the obstacles of boxes in the room, I saw Steve crouching over Barnes' body. There was blood spilling from a red circle in his head where a bullet was implanted from Steve's gun.

I crouched down on the other side of James' body and looked at him. His eyes were still open so I took the liberty of closing them. I carefully placed my hand on Steve's shoulder.

"It had to be done." he said, standing up and I stood up with him.

"I do not understand what you mean. Is the Soldier dead?" Thor asked.

"Yes, he had been taken out." I said to Thor. "I'm with them right now. We are heading back to you."

I switched off my comm. and reached up to switch Steve's off. Once I did, I asked "Are you really okay though?" I asked. "That can't have been easy."

"He made it easy." he replied. "He said he would kill everyone if he couldn't have you. So I put a bullet in his skull." I left it at that, nodded and we exited the room, leaving a dead James Buchannan Barnes in the room behind us. "I'll be fine. He was going to hurt more people, so I know I did the right thing." he said softly.

"You did." I agreed. "Believe me, you did."

"I'm sorry for all the trouble that he caused you." he said. "With your sister and everything that happened in the Red Room."

"It's okay. It's over now." I said and reached down to hold his hand. I squeezed it comfortingly and then pulled it out of his to switch the comms back on.

"Sorry, our comms went down. Did we miss anything?" I said.

"We were just saying that we have taken all the guards down. Thor, you ready?" Clint asked.

"Give me the signal when you are safely out of the building. I am in position." Thor replied.

"Gotcha." Tony said. Me and Steve ran to the nearest exit and met up with the others.

"We're heading back to the helicarrier now." Tony reported and we heard the build up of electricity echo around us. There was a large boom and the ground shook slightly. We looked at each other and all had the same thought - Oh shit.

We started running for our lives towards the helicarrier as the ground began to break behind us.

"Tony! Take Steve to the helicarrier and then come back for us if you can." I demanded and he did. As he zoomed off and me and Clint continued to run, I felt fear rush through my veins. The fear of losing Clint over powered me. I looked towards him and he turned his head to look at me. Not paying attention, I tripped over a bump in the ground and fell over.

"Shit! Come on Tash!" Clint shouted and pulled me up to stand. Tony came back over and Clint said "Take her!"

"NO!" I shouted, but I was already being carried away from him. I looked back as me and Iron Man flew through the air and saw the ground getting closer and closer towards Clints feet. "CLINT!" I shouted as he dropped me on the helicarrier. I couldn't see anything, but dust. Tony went out again and I asked "Can you see anything Stark? Please!"

"Natasha, there is nothing here." Tony said, sorrowfully over the comms, and I stumbled backwards slightly.

"No." I whispered, not believing it. "No, you're wrong." I said, trying to remain calm, but tears were in my eyes. "Keep looking."

"Natasha, it's pitch black and there is a hole in the ground that looks like it goes down for miles." he reported.

"I don't care. You keep going until you find him. He has to be alive." I said. Steve came towards me and placed him hand on my shoulder, like I did for him when he lost Bucky just a few moments ago. No, I can't have lost him not now. What am I going to do without him?

I felt a rush of air from behind me and turned to see Clint and Thor laughing as they landed on the platform of the helicarrier. Clint smiled at me and I ran over to him. I beat his chest with my hands, half making sure that he was real and half making sure that he regretted being an asshole.

"You idiot! Don't ever do that to me again!" I shouted at him.

"Hey, don't be silly. I could hardly hear you over the comms and I couldn't respond because we were flying so fast." he said, quickly grabbing my wrists to stop me from hitting him. "Like I would leave you." He pulled me into a hug and stroked my hair softly. I didn't cry. I just snuggled against his chest as he held me.

"Awww cute. I have walked in on a Clintasha moment." Tony said.

"D'you know what Stark?" I asked.

"Yes, my dear." he replied and I threw a Widow bite at his chest.

"ROMANOFF!" Steve shouted and I shrugged.

"He kind of deserves it." I said as some form of an excuse and Steve showed a small smile.

Once we got back to the Avengers Tower, we decided to have a shower then go out for lunch as a team before Pepper would leave to go under protection. We exited the helicarrier and went straight down to the living room where Pepper, Jane and Maria were chatting on the sofa. Pepper and Jane ran up to Tony and Thor, but Maria just stood by the sofa's waiting for him to come over. Once he did, she led him into one of the other quiet rooms that was like the living room, but much smaller, for little conversations. We all knew that Steve needed his space and we were going to let him have just that.

"How have you been Jane?" Tony asked as we went to sit down on the sofa's together.

"Good. Happier now that I've come to see you."

"You are always welcome here. Actually I've been meaning to offer you a proposition to have you work here in the tower if that appeals to you?"

Her mouth went wide and she looked from Thor to Tony and back to Thor again. "Did you know about this?"

"I'm the one Tony came directly to talk to about it." Thor smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Well…" she said, flustered slightly. "if you are sure."

"I am certain." he replied, smiling slightly.

She beamed happily and kissed Thor strongly on the lips. "That means I get to see you all more."

"That is good. God knows that we need more girls around here." Pepper said, relaxing onto Tony's shoulder.

"Now, onto more pressing matters," I started. "Pepper, are you sure you don't want any of us to come with you to the safe house, wherever it is."

"I'm sure. You guys have got a lot of work to do and Tony is there to protect me should anything come knocking." she smiled. "I will be fine. It's not like I haven't had death threats from randomers in the past. Being engaged to Tony probably means that I will only get more in the future." she joked. She didn't know the threat was from HYDRA. I could tell that Tony hadn't told her by the expression on his face.

"Would anybody like a drink?" Tony asked and we all gave him our orders.

"I see a congratulations is in order. Thor was telling me only yesterday that you two were together." Jane smiled as JARVIS sent the drinks through the table.

We picked up our drinks as Clint replied "Yeah, we only said that we were officially dating a couple of hours ago. It feels good to show off that I'm dating the Black Widow."

"Hey." I slapped him, playfully on the arm. "But I must admit it feels good to be dating Hawkeye."

"What about Bruce? Anyone heard from him?" Clint asked. "I heard he was hooking up with Betty."

"Well, as you know Steve ordered him on leave, but he has decided to return, because he feels a lot better about himself and the whole Hulk situation." Tony explained.

"Good for him." I said, raising my glass and taking a sip of my drink. We continued to talk about Bruce, including the terrible things the papers were saying about him, until a certain someone mentioned lunch.

"What's the time, because we don't want to miss lunch?" Clint mentioned.

"You are always hungry." I complained, but then smiled. "It's 12:30."

"Should I go and ask whether Steve and Maria want to join us?" Clint asked.

"I'll come with you." Pepper chirped and kissed Tony on the cheek before going to join Clint as he walked towards the quiet room that they were in.

"I never realised that Clint and Pepper got on so well." I said to Tony.

"Well, they've always been quite close. You wouldn't expect it, but they almost get on as well as me and Pepper do. Not in that way, but in a-"  
"A brother and sister way?" I asked.

"Yes, I have noticed that." Thor added.

"Is he worried about her going under protection?" Tony asked.

"I think he is. He doesn't always show his emotions, but I can read his face like a book." I explained. They came back and said "They will be joining us." Pepper said.

"So lets meet on the ground floor in half an hour say?" Maria asked and we all nodded.

Clint walked me to my room and came in for a couple of minutes. He seemed to have something else on his mind as I put my weapons back into the holders on the wall.

"You worried about Pepper?" I asked and he nodded.

"I don't know what I would do if I lost her."

"I know. You two seem to have a great connection." I said, smiling. I wasn't jealous of them at all, because I knew that Clint liked me. "I'm happy that you have those two to keep you company when I'm not around."

"But I always want you around." he said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "Always." I closed my eyes and sighed at the embrace. He was always so comforting towards me, like I could easily tell him the darkest secrets I keep.

"We need to shower." I said, placing the last gun on the my wall.

"We?" he asked, a smile on his face.

"I mean, I need to shower in my bathroom and you need to shower in your bathroom."

"Spoilsport." he complained and chuckled afterwards, indicating that he was in fact joking.

"Get outta here Hawk." I said and pushed him backwards lightly. "Go."

"Alright, alright." he said, holding up his hands. "I'm going." he smirked and shut the door after he left. I had my shower and got changed into black skinny jeans and a red crop top. I pulled on a grey zip up hoodie and left it undone. Grabbing my red trainers, I sat on the bed and looked up at the red wallpaper. I liked the one select colour that I was to the team I thought, tying up my laces. I guess Tony was gold, Steve was red, white and blue, Thor was grey, Bruce was green, Clint was purple and I was red.

Once my boots were on, I made my way to the door and down the corridor. I bumped into Pepper on the way down and started a conversation about Clint with her.

"I mean, he's been such a rock to me. Not an irritating rock like Tony, but a friendly one."

"You ever wanted to date him?" I asked, just out of curiosity.

"God no. Not my type. I would say he's too arrogant, but then again look at Tony. Maybe Clint is not arrogent enough? I've never been attracted to him in that way and I think that's what makes us such good friends."

"Well, I'm happy that you've got someone apart from Tony."  
"God, imagine if I was just stuck with him. I would go insane." she joked as we got to the elevator. "I must say, I am loving your outfit."

"This?" I asked, gesturing to my clothes. "I have had these for years. Never changed size. I love yours too." Pepper actually looked quite bad ass. She was wearing very different clothes to her usual, which was always office or party clothes. Her hair was delicately put into a side bun and she was wearing black combat boots and blue skinny jeans. Her top was loose, but so stylish. I need to try out her look.

"Aw thanks Tash." she smiled and looked down at her outfit. "I'm wearing this on the way over to the base and I've already packed the rest of my clothes for the four days I'm staying there."

I turned to her. "Just come back safe. Promise me you will."

She nodded. "I promise." She smiled at me and brought me into a hug. "I know I don't say it very often, but I just...I just wanted to say thank you."

"You don't know how often you say that." I laughed and she laughed too.

"I know, but that's for presents or little things. This time I want to say it as a thank you for being my friend." she said, hugging me tighter. "I know this won't be the last time I see you, but this death threat just makes me think about the fact that I haven't said it to you before. So thank you."

"That's alright." I said as we pulled away. "But you're not going anywhere."

"I'm just excited for us to go on double dates...wait no...triple dates because of Thor and Jane...wait no...quadruple dates because of Steve and Maria...wait I forgot Bruce and Betty. There we go. Quintuple dates."

"That will make quite a big table for a date." I said and she laughed. We arrived at the bottom floor and apparently it was just me and Pepper, because no one else seemed to be here.

"Are we having our own date?" Pepper asked and we laughed, but suddenly there was the sound of a rush of wind coming from outside the doors. We looked out and saw Iron Man carrying Clint and Steve and Thor carrying Jane and Maria.

They walked through the doors and Tony said "Thought we would use the express way, seeing as someone was using the elevator."

"That was so much fun." Jane smiled. She was always so happy.

Thor chuckled at her excitement. "Where are we going to dine today?"

"Shaw-"

"Don't even think about it." Pepper said to Tony. "Do you know how many times I have had to eat shawarma with you?"

"Hahaha. I don't know. It's not like you have count-"

"Forty six." she replied, crossing her arms. "No more shawarma."

"Wow. Okay. That's your 'stop arguing or I'm going to stab you with the nearest sharp object' face." He leaned over to us and whispered "Stay clear of her when she does that." We laughed and Pepper hit him on the arm.

"How about Royalina?" Stark suggested.

"Don't you own that place?" Clint asked.

"Exactly. It's free food. What more do you want?" he asked, smiling.

"Alright. It looks like we are going there." Maria said and we went to walk out of the door together. I completely forgot about the camera bombardment that you get when you exit, but I remembered as I saw the distant flashes of light from the camera shutters. Clint came towards me.

"Shall we?" he asked, holding out his hand. I smiled as I put my hand in his. I really don't give a shit anymore. We all walked out together me and Clint at the back of the group.

The cameras attacked us like vultures and we ended up being separated from the rest of the group.

"Are you two together now?"

"How long has this been going on?"

"Someone told me that you were dating the Winter Soldier. Is that true? Are you cheating on him?"

"How come you haven't told us anything?"

"When did this happen?"

We were being backed up against the door, but sooner or later Tony got tired of not being in the spotlight. I heard the sound of a loud lazer beam and the cameras stopped to turn towards the noise.

"Let Clintasha through will you. We are trying to get lunch." Tony said, distracting the cameras as we made our way towards the group. "Thank you." he smiled, when we were joined with them. There was a limosine around the front that we all got into - it was the only thing that would fit us all in.

I heard people shout the word 'Clintasha' at random moments outside. "Why did you have to give the public a name for us?" I asked.

"I thought it would be cute." Tony replied and I rolled my eyes. We made our way to the restaurant and there seemed to be cameras permanently following us around, however, all the celebrities do eat here, becuase the restaurant is owned by 'the one and only Tony Stark'.

We exited the vehicle and walked towards the doors. People were appreciating Pepper's new look and Tony was encouraging her to pose. She rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek, before heading inside with us.

There was one table on the roof that was reserved only for us, not even royalty could get up there. I guess if the Queen offered Tony a knighthood then maybe she could sneak up there too.

"What are we having? They cook anything. Happy is one of the chefs here."

"Happy can cook?" Jane asked.

"He is a brilliant chef." Pepper replied. "He is even better than Clint."

"Hey!" Clint glared at her and she nudged his shoulder. "Don't say that. I'm an excellent chef."

"Try saying that when you taste one of your souflees."

"Don't hate on the souflees." Clint said smiling and looked back at his menu. We spent a while talking about Clint's cooking before deciding on what we wanted. JARVIS was installed in this restaurant and acted as a waiter. Even though he was a computer program, he was still humourous.

"So I lean over the bar and say 'Hey, where's the Scotch?'. The enemy was so scared that I had taken out all of his undercover team that he even made it for me and brought it over." Tony explained, sipping his drink as we laughed. "I tell you that was an unforgettable mission."  
"I remember one time…" Thor started to explain one of his stories, but Clint leaned over to me and said "Do you remember Budapest." A smile was brought to my lips from the memory of it. It was a low key mission, which ended up in a gun fight.

A German had come to Budapest to do a business deal. He said how he had gone there before whilst he was being held at gunpoint by Hawkeye. "Just how I remember it." the German said.  
"You and I remember Budapest very differently." Clint said to the man before shooting him in the face. "I mean, the streets are filthy for a start." he said to me as we walked out of the building.

Since then, whenever one of us has referred to it, we've always said 'You and I remember Budapest very differently'.

"You and I remember Budapest very differently." I said to Clint as Thor continued with his story. He chuckled quietly and continued to eat his meal.

When we were finished, we headed downstairs and saw Happy on the way out. "It's good to see you again." I said, shaking his hand. "How's the boxing going?"

"Zip it, Natalie." he smirked and we had a short conversation about missions before the team left.

"I can't believe you guys haven't gotten married yet." Maria said, smiling, as she leant against Steve.

"We are waiting a couple of months. Tony wants something big." Pepper explained, looking up at Tony.

"I only want it big to show off how amazing you will look." he justified. To be honest, I think he did want it slightly for that, but it has been named 'Wedding of the century' by most magazines, so he definitely wants a bit of press in there too. "It's all about you." he said and kissed her head. I smiled at them. God they are so couple like. I thought. However, I was being cuddled by Clint. Cuddled? I thought. You, the Black Widow, are using the word cuddled. Let alone you are being cuddled.

I shivered, over-thinking it slightly, and he looked at me curiously. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I replied, but he pulled me closer, probably thinking that I was cold. Just get use to the word cuddle will you. I told myself, getting comfortable where I was.

 **Hope that you liked this :) Keep the reviews up and I will try and post one every day now so I can get it over with :P PLEASE REVIEW THIS!**


	17. Company

**Chapter twenty will be the last chapter by the way!**

 **Previously:**

 **Bucky has been taken down**

 **HYDRA seems to be dead**

 **Pepper being sent off under protection, because of the death threat she received.**

' **Clintasha' outed to the world**

We returned to the tower and Pepper and Tony got ready to leave. All their stuff was on the plane yesterday, so they didn't need to take any bags with them. They said goodbye to all of us and I felt slightly hurt that this might be the last time I see Pepper. _She'll be fine. Stop being stupid._ I told myself. Me and Pepper were good friends, but not amazingly close. The last person she hugged was Clint. Tony was already at the elevator, because he had said goodbye to everyone already.

"You look after him." she smiled at me, indicating that I should look after the 'Hawk'.

"I will. Don't you worry." I replied and she nodded.

"Stay safe." Clint said.

"I'll try to." she replied, her eyes filling up with tears.

"Go on. Go." Clint instructed. "Otherwise you'll never leave." They laughed and she nodded, turning to go towards the elevator. Tony and Pepper stepped inside it and they waved goodbye as the doors closed. Everyone went to sit in the living room, but we stayed near the elevator for a few moments, just the two of us.

"I hope she is alright." Clint fretted and I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about her. She has Tony to protect her and the death threat is probably from some random guy on the street trying to scare us."

He nodded and said "You are right. We can't be us without Pepper. She is going to be fine. She needs a holiday anyway after all the work that she does."

"I know. I'm surprised she can stand after all the paperwork that has been fed through her office over the years."

"God, Maria has that burden too. She complains about it when no one else is looking."

"I get that." I agreed, smirking, and we joined the others on the sofa.

"What do we do now?" Thor asked.

"Well I need to talk to Maria about her suit and Banner should be here in a bit. Other than that, I think we should take the rest of the day off." Steve said and left with Maria to go down to Tony's lab.

"I will be spending the day with Jane." Thor said, much to Jane's surprise. She smiled and he continued. "If you wish to contact us, just shout THOR!" He shouted his name, which nearly deafened me. I turned to Jane.

"You have your phone right?"

"Yep." she said, laughing and tapping her pocket. "See you later."

They left me and Clint in the room together and I said "I think I'm going to go and work out."

"Care for some company?" he asked.

"Yeah, I would love some. Thank you. And you need something to distract you from Pepper anyway."

"Well, you are very distracting." he smirked and I gave him a death glare. His smile faded and he said "I'm gonna regret that later aren't I…" I just smiled and strutted to the elevator. "You'll be the death of me." he added as the doors to the lift opened.

"Probably." I replied as we walked in. I pressed the workout floor button and the lift doors closed.

"Are your nightmares becoming less frequent?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not really. What about yours?"

"Can't seem to shake em'." he said. "How often?"

"A couple of times a week. Are you still getting yours every night?"

"I don't when you are with me. I know that no one like Loki can take you, but when you are not with me, I feel like I'm just going to lose you."

"If you think that I'm moving in with you…"

"I'm not saying that! I gave the wrong impression off there. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." he said, frantically.

"It's fine, Clint. I was joking." I said, stopping his little panic. "I know what you meant."

"I just meant that it's better when you're around." he smiled and pressed a small kiss to my cheek.

"Don't think that is going to soften me up. I'm still gonna kick your ass."

"Damn it! You ruined my master plan!" he joked and I smirked.

 **5 hours later**

"Uhhh…" Clint groaned, rolling around on the floor, faking pain.

"Oh come on. I didn't hit you that hard!" I said, crossing my arms.

"Damn it, you really will kill me one day."

"If your lucky I'll do it painlessly...if…" I smiled and he put his hand out.

"Help the defeated off the floor will ya?" he asked with puppy dogs eyes and a quivering lip.

"Fine." I said and joined hands with him. Suddenly, I was pulled down to join him and I landed on top of him. "Asshole." I cursed, my hands going flat against the floor, so I could push myself up to look at him.

"Come on, darlin'." he said, cowboy accent added to his usual tone. "Be nice to me for once."

"I'm always nice to you." I complained as he placed his hands on my hips.

"I know you are." he said and reached up to kiss my lips. I closed my eyes and pulled my hands up, so I could weave them through his hair. His hands went round my back and went under my top, gracing over my spine. I groaned at his touch and pushed my lips harder against his.

"God, Tash…" he said, spinning us round so that I was against the floor.

"Clint…" I whispered as he kissed down my neck and across my collar bone. I arched my back and he kissed down my stomach, touching the backs of my thighs. "Clint?" I said, trying to catch his attention.

"Yeah…" he said, breathlessly, looking up from the bottom of my belly.

"We should probably do this somewhere else…" I said, raising an eyebrow. He nodded and got up quickly.

"Come on…" he said, smiling and holding his hand out for me to take. We rushed to the elevator and kissed the whole way up, my hands around his neck and his strongly grabbing my hips, pushing me closer to him. The elevator pinged when we got to the living room floor and we jumped apart. Caasually walking out, we waved to Steve, Maria and Bruce who were sitting on the sofas. We quickly walked to the doors and I noticed, from glancing at a nearby mirror, that my hair was unbelievably untidy. _What must I look like?_ I thought as we shut the doors.

We practically ran to our rooms, but they were across the hall from each other.

"Yours or mine?" I asked, still breathless, probably from the excitement.

"I don't mind."

"Well, it's your choice."

"I don't really have a preference."

"But-"

"Oh my God, yours." he said and smashed his lips against mine, pushing me against my door. I opened it (multitasking is my specialty after all) and we went straight to the bed. All out clothes were off in under 30 seconds. I made a note in my brain that he was very good at undoing bra straps - I wondered whether he had a lot of practise at that.

 **Two hours later**

We were lying next to each other, him asleep and me hardly awake, and I smiled at the realisation that we had just had sex. _Fucking finally!_ I thought. I looked up at him, saw that he was snoring lightly and pulled him closer to me, because I just wanted to hug him tighter. If someone had told me last week that I would be here, in my bed, naked, hugging Clint, then I probably would've 1. punched them in the face and 2. told them that they were crazy.

I closed my eyes and listened to him breath. It seemed to relax me, the rising and falling of his chest, causing my head to do the same. I pressed a kiss against his skin, which woke him up.

"Hey." he said, sleepily, still with his eyes clothes.

"I would say morning, but it's nearly eight o'clock at night." I smiled and he smiled back.

"Did I just have a really really good dream or did we just…"

"It wasn't a dream." I whispered and reached up to kiss his lips.

"Good." he said and pulled me into a hug.

"I bet the others knew what was going to happen with us."

"The others in the living room?"

"Did you see my hair?"

"Yeah, I almost said something, but I kinda didn't want to."

"Hey!"

"What?" he said innocently. "It looked cute all tangled up."

"I'm just happy that you didn't die on the mission."

"Me too."

"Lets go and get some dinner lover boy." I said, shuffling to the side of the bed. I reached for my underwear and slipped on my knickers as Clint put on my bra. "You seem awfully good at doing that." I said suspiciously.

"Hawkeye scans the crowd for his target and he never misses. What can I say?" he smirked and I rolled my eyes.

"You can say anything you like just never use the word 'Hawkeye' in the bedroom." I said, picking out a fresh top from my wardrobe and pulling it over my head.

"Why are you so mean?" he asked. I got the spare clothes that I keep in my room for him and chucked them to him. I got out a pair of blue jeans and put them on. "I bet you can't wait to tell Pepper." I said and turned around to find him wide-eyed staring at me, fingers frozen above the keyboard on my iPad. I walked over curiously and looked at the screen. It was my messages that are sent to Pepper.

" **Guess who just slept with Clint? :)"** I disapprovingly looked at Clint and shook my head.

"I can't believe you." I laughed and there was a 'ping' sound from the iPad.

" **I'm guessing that was Clint stealing your iPad? I'm so happy for you two."** Pepper said over the message. Whilst replying to her message, I walked over my desk and sat down on my chair, whilst Clint got changed. I put the iPad down and looked at myself in the mirror as Clint walked over to me.

"You feeling okay?" he asked and kissed the back of my head.

"I'm good. My stitches didn't tear so that's a good thing." I smirked and he laughed.

"That would have been messy!" he said and his hand wandered down my arm, taking my hand and hollding it tightly. He pulled me forward, out of the chair, and said "Come with me."

"What is it?" I asked and he kept pulling me forward.

"Wait and see…" He smiled and pulled me out of the door, towards the set of stairs that were on the other side of the building. There was one on each side of the building in case of emergency situations. Clint took me up the stairs and we kept going and going and going until we reached the rooftop.

He opened the door and walked me over to the edge. The city was so beautiful, so full of life. Maybe that idea of me living in a house with Clint could come true...one day. We leant over the balcony and he slipped his arm around the back of my waist.

"I went up here, you know. After the whole 'Attack on Manhattan' thing." he said and I looked at him.

"I know you did."

He looked at me curiously. "You did?"

"Yeah, I never knew why. I know that you did though. I expected you needed some space after Loki invaded your brain." I explained. I remembering opening the door, seeing him resting his head against the balcony bar and leaving him in peace. I thought that he deserved at least that for a while.

"It wasn't entirely for that. I know that he hurt you and to know that I couldn't do anything about that...well that was the thing that nearly killed me." he said, his eyes not moving from mine.

I blinked my eyes away to the sunset and replied "You should've told me that you were so worried. I was fine."

"No, you weren't. I know that the Hulk affected you. It was my fault that he turned when I shot the arrow into the facility. You were all there."

"You didn't know that. As well as that, you were being controlled by Loki." I said, resting my head against his shoulder. "Just try and forget about it."

He nodded. "You're the one who is helping me do that." I smiled and shut my eyes, feeling the sun setting in the distance. I saw why he liked it up here. Not really because of the view, but because of the peace you could find. I listened to the sounds of distant cars and planes and people and for one moment in my life I didn't care about anything. I would have fallen over if Clint hadn't been there as a leaning post.

"Miss Romanoff and Mr. Barton, Mr. Rogers is asking if you would attend dinner with him and a few others?" JARVIS asked. _So much fpr peace._

"Of course we will. Tell them that we will be down in a moment. Who are the 'few others'?" Clint asked.

"Mr. Rogers is joined by Bruce Banner, Jane Foster, Maria Hill, Thor Odinson and Betty Ross."

"Brilliant. I haven't seen Betty for centuries and I wanted to see how Bruce was recovering. Shall we?" he asked, holding out an arm for me to take, which I did. Before exiting through the roof door, I looked back across the city...my city. I always knew that I would have to protect it, but surely I can have Clint too right?

We exited the elevator and walked over to the kitchen where the others were standing in a circle, waiting for the food to be laid out.  
"Ah, Clintasha!" Thor shouted, hands up in the air, the threat of a hug looming over us. "How brilliant to see you!" he said, merrily and gave us both hugs.

"Is that name really catching?" Clint choak out whilst being hugged by the God. Thor gave me an equally crushing hug.

"You should see for yourselves…" Jane said, handing us a paper.

 **Clintasha - a new power couple.** I rolled my eyes. More media...brilliant.

 **Tony Stark cleverly named the new couple Clintasha after they walked out of the building holding hands. Is this love? From the Black Widow of all people?** "Okay, where is the nearest bin. I already want to throw up from this love-dovey rubbish?" I asked, chucking the paper across the table.

"Well, at least I made sure that the Avengers newspaper didn't print such news." Maria smiled and we all turned to her.

"Avengers newspaper?" Bruce asked.

"Yes, it was Steve's idea." Maria said, looking over at him. He was cooking...something?

"Over the years, there has been much speculation over the truths of the Avengers and our missions, so I thought that releasing some information to the public, provided that it wasn't too valuble, wouldn't be a bad idea."

"That is a brilliant." Betty commented, taking a sip out of her glass. He other hand was wrapped round Bruce's. They should be making the front page.

"How are you Betty? I haven't seen you in ages." Clint said, coming up to hug her.

"I'm good. Happier now that I have found Bruce again." She smiled and squeezed his hand as we all sat down at the table. I was sitting next to Thor, which made me look even smaller than I already was. Throughout dinner, we discussed Jane's and Betty's roles in science and the food to accompany the company was delicious. Steve had cooked cheese and asparagus bake.

"Wow. I did not know you could cook this well." Clint said, wiping his lips with a napkin.

"I had lots of time when I came out of the ice. There was a cabin that I spent most of my time in, which had no one for miles so I thought that I might as well use my time wisely." he said.

"We must do this more often." Bruce said, taking another bite of his meal.

"Pepper suggested us doing a quintuple date?" I said. Clint was right! This dish is amazing.

"Sounds interesting!" Jane said.

"We will have to do that when Tony and Pepper get back!" Betty added.

"What a wonderful idea." Thor said, smashing his wine glass on the floor. We all jumped in shock, but we had gotten used to Thor doing it. The first time we thought he was angry and Tony went to hide behind the sofa. "I am sorry my friends. Old habits never do die away."

We all laughed and before we knew it we had eaten tea, dessert and we were waving Bruce, Betty, Thor and Jane out of the door, because they were staying elsewhere tonight.

"Well, that was a brilliant evening." Steve said, smiling and holding hands with Maria.

"Yeah, more brilliant for some than others." Maria said, raising an eyebrow at us.

"What?" we asked at the same time, which freaked me out a little. Me and Clint turned to each other, but then turned back to Maria.

"You two rushing off to Romanoff's room." she said, smirking.

"You followed us?" Clint asked.

"Well you both looked like you had been rolling around in the bushes when you came past us and we brought up the security footage from the corridor and that was very self-explanatory." Steve said.

"We laughed about it for ages." Maria said, walking towards the sofa's in the living room.

"Glad we amuse you." I deadpanned.

"Is he good?" Maria asked me and I think I blushed.

"Maria!" I shouted in a whisper. Clint just looked at me curiously and furrowed his eyebrows. "What?" I asked.

"Are you going to answer her question?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes and beckoned Maria over to me. I whispered something in her ear and she smiled.

"What did she say?" Clint asked as she sat back down next to Steve.

"She said it's the best sex she's ever had." Maria admitted and I threw the nearest cushion at her.

"Asshole." I said.

"Lang-" Before Steve could finish his sentence, Maria smacked a kiss to his lips.

She pulled away and said "That is the only thing that stops him from finishing that word."

We laughed and talked into the night, finishing at about 2 in the morning. We said goodnight to them, but me and Clint were still stuck in the corridor.

"Yours or mine?" Clint asked, knowing that we still had unfinished business.

"Lets try it in yours." I smiled and took his hand.

"These doors aren't sound-proof you know!" Steve shouted from Maria's room.

"It's a good thing the rooms are then!" Clint shouted back as we went to his door.

 **Hope you liked that chapter! Thought I would be a little cheeky with the writing of this chapter :P PLEASE REVIEW OR UPDATES ARE GOING TO BE WAAAAYYYY LESS! Thank you for reading! xx**


	18. A Series of Unfortunate Events

**Thank you so much for the reviews! Really sorry that this is coming to an end, but I just don't have the motivation that I used to. If you want me to write it into AOU then do say whether you would prefer me to focus on this story or a new one where Pietro comes back to life?**

 **Previously:**

 **"Yours or mine?" Clint asked, knowing that we still had unfinished business.**

 **"Lets try it in yours." I smiled and took his hand.**

 **"These doors aren't sound-proof you know!" Steve shouted from Maria's room.**

 **"It's a good thing the rooms are then!" Clint shouted back as we went to his door.**

It had been two days which we basically full of me and Clint having sex if we weren't training. We facetimed Pepper and Tony a couple of times to make sure that they were okay and had a small mission down town, but apart from that it was just time with Clint.

I was in the kitchen and Clint was making waffles. I had given up on wearing nothing more than Clint's shirts and my underwear, yesterday. No one else was on our floor apart from Maria and Steve and they didn't care anymore. Infact, Maria did exactly the same thing. Bruce and Betty were in the living room and they didn't seem to care either, because they spent most of their time talking to each other than to us. I guessed that they had a lot of catching up to do. Clint fed me a waffle and I hummed from the perfection of them. They were homemade and Clint's speciality.

"Mmm...these are amazing!"

"Aww thanks babe."

"No, we have already been through this!" I said, angling my head at him.

"I know, I know! No nicknames." he said, putting his hands up in the air. "I promise that I will try not to."

"Make that al promise that you won't and I'll be even more happy than I already am."

"Okay…" Maria said, walking towards us. "I had to publish something in the Avengers paper about you, because I was going to get fired by Tony."

She chucked us the paper and I saw the headline Clintasha - the real story.

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I know you didn't want Clintasha a your 'ship name' as it were, but Tony insisted. It's better than CaptainHill. Believe me!"

I continued to read: Speculation over the new romance has been circling the world like a wildfire, so here is the truth acting as an extinguisher. They are a couple and a strong one at that. They have always been good friends and colleagues and now want something more. So what if they want to get together? It's a free country!

"Well done for keeping to the professional side Maria." Clint smirked as he read over my shoulder.

"The readers seem to like the fact that I'm real with them. No stupid statistics. Just the truth." she said, smiling.

"I'm happy that you've found another hobby apart from being Stark's assistant."

"She's not only Stark's assistant." someone voice from the elevator. We looked round the corner and saw Nick Fury coming towards us.

I turned to Clint and panicingly whispered "I'm wearing your shirt!" He came towards us and looked at me weirdly.

"Is that your shirt Romanoff?" he asked, flipping through some files.

"It's new."

"Yeah, it's from a shop called 'Hawkeye'." Maria said and I glared daggers at her.

"Do you not think I read the papers Agent Romanoff?" Fury asked and I felt like dying inside.

"I know fraternisation is against the rules and I'm sorry. I just-"

He held his hand up. That's it. I'm dead. "Stop trying to justify yourself. I was in on the bet with Coulson." he smiled slightly. I have never seen Fury smile in his life, even if it was this small one. "I would actually be happy for you if it weren't for the fact that I'm dead, remember." he said, taking out a file and handing it to Hill.

"I'm sorry for your loss Sir." Clint joked and I tried to hold back my laughter. Fury shook his head, rolled his eyes and exited the room. We burst into laughter and Maria snorted at one point, making us all stop and look at her. We were silent for five seconds until we began to laugh even more than last time.

"What is going on?" Steve asked, walking into the room.

"Maria snorted." I said, eating another piece of my waffle.

"No, I didn't." Maria insisted and Steve kissed her head.

"Whatever you say baby girl." he said and Clint scowled at me.

"See! They have cute nicknames!" he shouted at me, gesturing to Maria and Steve who were now holding hands.

"Well we don't." I said, hitting his arm and picking up another waffle. "Unless you don't want to have sex with me?"

He froze and then turned to me. "Normal names are fine, Natasha."

"Good." I smiled and bit the new piece of waffle. Maria and Steve laughed at us and I smirked at them. "How's the suit?" I asked Maria.

"Under wraps for the minute. The public don't need to know yet and Tony insists that I make a dramatic news outing about it. I need him to finish part of the design on it and then it will be completed. I've tried out the Ice Bites and they are brilliant."

"Well, I'm happy you will be part of the team." I said to her, taking a seat at the table.

"Glad I have the chance." she smiled. Maria, Steve and Clint all sat down with me as Clint finished serving all the waffles onto plates.

The elevator dinged again and I though Nick might be back until I saw two familiar faces walking towards us. "Hey guys! Haven't seen you in a while!" I said.

"Good to see you." James said. Hopefully War Machine will be on our team soon as well.

"Are those waffles?" Sam asked, picking up the plate and taking one off.

"I swear all you think about is food." Steve smirked and we laughed. "Has Tony talked to you about joining the team?" he asked them.

"He mentioned the possibility of it happening a couple of months ago." James replied.

"We talked about it a few times." Sam said.

"Good, because we think it would be a good decision to bring you guys in." Maria said, collecting some folders together. "Fury gave me some new suit designs. Would it be cool to run them by you?" she asked. They nodded and walked over to her shoulder.

"Incoming emergency transmission from Tony Stark." JARVIS said. We looked towards the projection on the wall that showed Tony's face and hands on a keyboard.

"TONY!" Steve shouted, hoping for him to respond, but he fell onto a chair. The video showed people lying on the floor and blood splattered everywhere. _What has happened? Are they okay?_

"JARVIS, get me the coord-"

CHANGE COORDINATES "3872682 East, 3920600 West." he said, interrupting Steve. Maybe JARVIS did care towards Tony. Even though he was an artificial intelligence, he seemed to have a human side to him occasionally.

"JARVIS, get the crew to prepare the fastest jet." Steve shouted to him. "5 minutes maximum to suit up. Meet on the roof. If you are not there in five we leave without you."

We sprinted to our rooms and I got changed as quickly as possible. I zipped up my suit, put my guns in place and charged out of the door. I met Steve, James, Falcon and Clint on the roof all in their gear. As soon as Maria and Bruce joined us, we left. Betty was still in the tower to transmit any more messages should they be sent to the tower. Tony and Pepper are alive. They are alive.

"Okay, we go in, find Pepper and Tony and then get the hell out of there. Falcon and War Machine, you two will set up a perimeter using these discs." Steve said, holding one of the discs up as we began to accelerate. "This will stop anyone entering the facility, so that we can come back and investigate. It also stops anyone getting out and gives them a message about their safety. Hawkeye, Hill, Black Widow and me will locate Pepper and Tony. Hopefully this mission will go to plan and we can get them out before it's too late."

The helicarrier landed quicker than expected and we sprinted out as soon as the doors were open. The trip over was silent, mostly because we had nothing to say. We exited and Falcon and War Machine set up the perimeter as we entered the building. It was empty for the most part apart from the bodies that were lying dead on the floor. We continued through the base and the body count increased.

"Which way?" Steve asked Betty who was also directing us through the base to the place with the strongest signal.

"Straight on, then turn left and take your second right." she instructed and as soon as we got to that second door, Steve didn't hesitate to kick the door down. There seemed to be no one alive in there, like we expected. We fanned out and I couldn't see Pepper and Tony anyway. "I've got them!" Hill shouted, but not with as much energy as she would usually have.

We ran over and found Pepper, red blood pouring from her throat, and Tony slumped over a chair, where he must've fallen trying to communicate us.

Clint was frozen, Hill was crying. Steve was struggling to find words to say. Black Widow...be the Black Widow. I told myself and stepped forward. I checked Tony's pulse.

"He's alive." I reported and walked over to Pepper. I crouched over he body. There were was a bullet hole in her left thigh and small cuts across her body. The cut across her throat was deep and there was no way she would've survived that. I felt a tear scrape down my cheek and fall onto my leg. I had never been so affected by someone's death in my life. She was a friend.

"Pepper is down." I whispered and hung my head as I picked head body up. I went past the others and carried her body back to the helicarrier by myself. I could take the weight and the others weren't moving any time soon.

I placed her carefully down on one of the medical beds and let the medics attend to her. I stepped away and leant against the wall. I slid down it, my knees giving in, and wrapped my arms around them.

I put my head between my legs and tried to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. She's dead. Pepper's dead. My mind went back to her birthday when I gave her the bracelet...the elevator...She was part of the team. A part of the team was dead. The tears were being freed from my eyes without my knowledge and I felt so vulnerable. I didn't even know how I was crying so much. The tears were leaving my eyes, but there were no sobs escaping my lips. I looked out for Clint, but I couldn't see him, so i walked back to where Tony was. As I walked down the corridor, I ignored the dead bodies. They didn't seem relevant. I saw Steve and Maia dragging Tony down the corridor.

"He's still in there." Steve said to me and I nodded. I walked past them and into the room. Clint was there, still in the same frozen position, but his eyes were looking down at the blood on the floor where Pepper had been.

"She's dead, isn't she." he said, as a fact rather than a question. Regardless, I nodded anyway.  
"The medics are with her, but their efforts are pointless. She's too far gone."

He nodded and shut his eyes. I looked at him and noticed that there were some words written on the wall behind him. I walked towards the words and saw what they said.

"Clint.." I said, trying to catch his attention. "Have you seen this?" I asked and he looked up at me.

"Seen what?" he asked, but I could tell that he was turning his head to look so I didn't respond. I just let him see the words and let it sink in.

"I'm really sorry Clint." I said, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Forget it." he said and turned away from the writing, walking out of the door behind him. Once he had left, I turned back to the writing.

"What do you want from us?" I asked. "Leave us alone. Just leave us. Please. We haven't don't anything wrong." I shouted at the writing. My whole body was shaking and I had to grip the side of a table to steady myself. "Just leave us be…" I whispered. I pushed myself off of the table to a standing position, because I felt my body gain it's strength again.

I turned away, took a deep breath and looked at the blood stain on the floor one last time. She was there. She died there. Took her last breath there. Why wasn't she protected? She had the hole base to protect her. Why did she have to die? Why? My body started shaking and I could feel my legs start to go weak. Get a grip, Romanoff.

I straightened up and walked away from the wall. The words Harry Forder Arekland were transcribed into the wall, written in the blood of the bodies surrounding it. HYDRA is going to pay for this. They are going to pay for taking her away from us. How dare they? She was one of us and she deserved to live. What is Tony going to do without her? I slowly walked through the doors to the exit and got onto the helicarrier. Tony was still unconscious on a hospital bed, Maria was crying into Steve's arms, James and Sam were just sitting on the side benches talking quietly to each other and Clint was resting his arms on the bars of Pepper's hospital bed.

Clint was devastated. You could see it in his face. What was I supposed to do? Comfort him? Not speak to him? I opted to go and sit on a bench so I could let him have some peace. I checked on Tony a few times on the way back, but apart from that I just sat there...thinking. I didn't think about how we were going to Avenge her, I didn't think about revenge. I thought about her and how we would miss her. So much. Too much.

 **Pretty heavy chapter. I was crying when I wrote this - NOT ASHAMED! Anyway, had to listen to some sad music to get into the vibe. Please take time to review this one! Thank you xx**


	19. Breaking

**Previously:**

 **Clint was devastated. You could see it in his face. What was I supposed to do? Comfort him? Not speak to him? I opted to go and sit on a bench so I could let him have some peace. I checked on Tony a few times on the way back, but apart from that I just sat there...thinking. I didn't think about how we were going to Avenge her, I didn't think about revenge. I thought about her and how we would miss her. So much. Too much.**

It had been 2 hours since the incident. That's what we labelled it as. Tony was unconscious on an infirmary bed in the Avengers Tower. The team was surrounding him, waiting for him to wake up. Clint went with Pepper's body to the hospital.

Barton came back through the doors and sat down on a chair next to Tony.

"Who's telling him?" Bruce asked. James and Sam were already there from the mission and Maria worked in the tower anyway. Bruce, Thor, Jane, and Betty had come in to just...be there. That's what you do apparently. When someone dies you are just...there.

"Telling me what?" Tony said, waking up from a deep sleep it seemed.

"How are you feeling?" Bruce asked, pen and clipboard in hand.

"Telling me what?" he asked, determined. It was like he wanted confirmation that what happened...happened.

"Tony there is no easy way to put this...the incident at the safe facility. The guards weren't strong enough against..." I felt sorry for Steve. He was trying to explain that Pepper had died, but couldn't seem to get the words out.

"She's dead." Clint put simply, sitting there on the chair next to Tony's bedside. Stark looked at him as if he were in a trance. "Pepper's dead. She died a couple of hours ago while you were at the safe facility."

Tony blinked a few times and then lay back down on his bed. He shut his eyes and I could see his body shaking. "Tony, I'm sorry." James said.

He opened his eyes again, tears flooding out of them. He pushed himself up and sat on the side of the bed. "It was HYDRA wasn't it." he said.

"Yeah. It was HYDRA." I said and he stood up. "Apart from her clothes, there was only one item on her." I showed him a small plastic bag containing the engagement ring he gave to her only a few days ago.

"I never got the chance to marry her." he said quietly, walking away from me and the bag. "We were going to do it once this was all over. We were going to do it small like she always wanted. I wanted a big wedding, but I was going to go along with Pepper this one time. This wedding was going to be hers. I was going to watch her walk down the aisle…" he continued, tears falling from his chin onto his t-shirt. "and read her the vows I had already prepared months before. _My dearest Pepper...you are my everything…_ " he began, walking towards the windows.

" _Life without you would not be living and I hope for both of our sakes that we get to live our lives to the full._ I had them prepared last year. I should've gotten engaged to her then. Maybe none of this wouldn't have happened. We would be living on a remote island somewhere without a care in the world." He looked out at the city. "I didn't have the chance to marry her...or have kids with her...or grow old with her…"

"Tony…" Steve started. "it may be hard to deal with right now but-"

"NO!" he shouted, breaking slowly. "NOT PEPPER! Anyone but Pepper. She was the one who was supposed to live longer than I was, so that I wouldn't have a moment without her."

Tony walked back towards us, took the bag off of me and took out the ring. He turned it in his fingers before putting it in his pocket. "Do you know what happened when we were there? They were taking all of the agents down. I told Pepper to stick with me, because she would be safe. I should've told her to run. They came for us, shooting everything in site, but they left me. I know why they left me. They wanted to see me suffer." he said, spitting out the words between his teeth.

"They grabbed her whilst I was being restrained by two of their agents. The pulled out a knife and pushed it against her neck." he told us. "She screamed and started sobbing. I told her that everything would be fine that she would be okay...but she wasn't. The man holding the knife to her neck said 'The month is over' and then slit her throat. She was gagging blood on the floor and I couldn't do anything about it." he sobbed. "They let me go, merciful enough to let me hold her in her last moments...and then she died. They said 'There are no prisoners with HYDRA. Only order.' I kissed her on the head and then they punched me in the face, knocking me out. They left me unconscious next to my dead fiancee."

He picked up a glass contained and threw it across the room, nearly hitting Jane in the process. "Why has this happened to me? Just kill me." he said calmly, but then looked up to the sky and shouted "JUST KILL ME! Kill me and save her. I want it that way!"

He shook his head and wiped the tears from his face. "Anyone but Pepper. Take Widow instead of Pepper. Take Thor instead of Pepper. Take Fury instead of Pepper - he's died too many fucking times already! Just take someone else and bring her back to me!" he shouted and I walked over to him.

"Tony, listen to me. Nothing is going to bring her back. You may get upset about it, but you can't let it control you."

"Shut up!" he shouted and me. He held up a medical knife and Betty gasped. "What do I have to do? Kill you? Kill all of you?" he asked, waving the knife around frantically.

"Just put the knife down and we can talk okay?" I said, putting my hands up. He threw the knife on the floor.

"She was my everything." he said, looking at the floor. "She was all I had. I have you but what's the fucking point of that if I don't have her. She was part of me." he whispered.

"We understand." Sam said.

"NO YOU DON'T! NONE OF YOU DO!" he shouted.

"We lost Pepper too." Clint said, his gaze still remaining on the floor.

"So what? You lost Pepper too. So fucking what!?" he shouted. "It's like you losing Natasha! Fucking imagine that."

He picked up the knife and came towards me. He walked past me, at least I think he did, until he grabbed my arm and held a knife to my neck. "HOW DO YOU FUCKING LIKE IT!?" he screamed and I could feel a small amount of blood pouring down my neck.

"You really think you are going to kill her?" Clint asked neutrally. He still hadn't moved. Tony pressed the knife a little harder into my neck, but after a few seconds he released me and I moved away from him immediately. He dropped the knife on the floor and took a few steps back, halting when he hit the wall behind him.

"How am I supposed to live without her? She's how I live. She gave me a purpose in life. She made me realise what I am here for and helped me through everything. I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for her. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her...maybe I should just be dead." he said, gazing at the floor. "Maybe I should join her…"

"Don't be stupid Tony." James said.

"No...that's what I'm meant to do." he said, smiling slightly as he pushed himself off of the wall. "I am meant to join her so we can live together."

"Tony…" Maria warned, stepping a little closer to him.

"That's all I've got to do." he said, walking towards the table. It had a bunch of sharp implements on it.

"JARVIS, containment cell." Steve ordered and a light came around Tony. He stopped himself before he would've crashed into the wall of the cell. It had a radius of about a metre and stretched up to the ceiling.

He looked down at the floor. "Damn it, I can't override a containment cell if I'm in it." He slowly pulled his head up to us. "I just want to be with her. Is that too much to ask?"

"Not like this. This is wrong." Steve said, walking up to the shield surrounding Tony.

Tony charged towards him, but hit the side of the containment cell. He stumbled back slightly, but was determined. He kept hitting the sides of it with his fists, the cell making electronic wooshes of noise when he tried. "People die everyday."

"But we need you." I debated. He stopped smashing against the wall, leant against it and slid down to the floor.

"Yeah?...well I need Pepper." he said. He got up and stared at me. "She was meant to become one of us...I had already talked to Cap about it and everything. She just needed to try on the suit and then she would've been more protected…"

"You did everything you could to try and save h-" Thor began, but Tony interrupted.

"BUT I DIDN'T!" Stark shouted. "I didn't bring my suit, because I didn't think it would be necessary...I thought the death threat was all a joke. Look what has happened now…"

"This is not your fault." Jane said.

"But it is. I didn't protect her enough….I never have…"

"Yeah...you should've protected her better." Clint said. He still hadn't moved from that chair and I was getting worried. I had never seen him like this.

"Barton..." Thor warned. "This isn't helping him."

"He's right though. She was my responsibility. She shouldn't have died in there with me. Not this young. I should've protected her until we were old with a house and kids and a dog and little photo frames of all our memories." he punched his fist against the containment wall, which made his hand bleed a little, probably from the friction. "I mean...who's going to tell her parents? We were meant to meet for lunch next week to celebrate the engagement. How am I supposed to face them?" He turned to face Rhodey. "James? Will you…"

"I'll call them now. It's better for them to find out from a phone call instead of a newspaper." Rhodey said, picking up his phone. He dialed the number, nodded to us and walked out of the room to take the call.

"I can't believe that she's dead." he whispered, exhaling a shakey breath. The tears were becoming more frequent and I knew that we just had to wait this out instead of take action. We all did. "She is meant to be my best friend, my soul mate…and they took her." he said, anger building in his tone.

"They fucking took her!" he shouted, his breathing increasing by the minute. "They took her…" he said. "They took her...the person who knows me better than anyone and they just...took her...and I couldn't stop them. Something as small as a knife is capable of all that pain…"

Tony went into his pocket and pulled out the engagement ring that was Pepper's. He stared at it, analysing all the detail of it. I remembered that on the inside of the ring was the word 'forever yours'. She was everything to Tony. Someone he could talk to whatever mood he was in. He placed it on the inside edge of his cell and said "It's a dead woman's ring. I can't...I can't do it." He took his off and placed it next to the one that Pepper would have been wearing. Rhodey entered the room again, but Tony hardly noticed. He nodded to us, informing us that he had told Pepper's parents.

"I could talk to her about anything. Any topic, any time. Whether I was happy or sad, she would always be there. When I was upset, she wouldn't talk for a while...she would just listen to me...and what I had to say about whatever I was upset about. She was always kind like that. When I stopped talking, she used to just hold me and tell me that everything was going to be fine. She always said the right things. And I couldn't save her." he said. I could see now that his whole t-shirt was stained with his tears and we couldn't do anything about it. He needed to do this.

He looked up at all of us. "Why couldn't I have just saved her?" He turned to Steve who was already looking at Tony.

"What is it?" Steve asked after a long silence between them.

"It's funny isn't it." Tony laughed slightly.

"What is?"

"Didn't you see Bucky months ago?" Tony asked, even though he knew the answer was yes. "You could've killed him…"

"Stark…" Sam said, warning him. He knew what was going to happen. We all did.

"You could've killed him then and maybe this wouldn't have happened…" he said, laughing. "Maybe she wouldn't have been dead if you hadn't had been such a Goddamn coward."

"Stop it Tony." Maria said, wrapping her arm around Steve's arm. "Just stop it."

"No! She's fucking dead Maria! I may be to blame, but he is too. He let this happen." he said, his body starting to shake again.

"Alright Tony. It's alright." Steve said.

"NO IT'S NOT!" he screamed, his hands going around his head. He locked them round the back of his head and crouched down on the floor. He stood up slowly and pointed at Steve. "You've still got her haven't you? You've still got your girl." Tony turned to Maria. "Maybe she should die? That way Pepper will come back. She will replace you."

"Don't even think about it." Steve said, stepping in front of Maria. At any other point in time, we would ask if he was joking but we could all tell that he wasn't.

"JARVIS, point a ceiling gun at her." Tony ordered. He may not be able to get out of the containment cell if he's in it, but he controls JARVIS.

"Are you crazy?" Steve shouted.

"Sir, please don't make me do this." he said, but the gun was already being brought out.

"Take aim." he shouted.

"STOP!" Betty screamed.

"This isn't right." Bruce said.

"Please…" Maria said, Steve in front of her.

"Remove the containment cell." James shouted and started running towards where Tony was, but before he could get there Tony said "Fire."

We all moved out of the way as the shot was fired in Maria's direction. It was only one gun so fortunately Steve was infront of her, protecting her with his shield, before anything bad could hit her. The beam of light sent them backwards into the wall behind them.

"JARVIS, override 184395. Do not allow Tony to make any more orders." James said, getting up off of Tony and moving out of the way..  
"Override accepted." JARVIS replied.

"Now, put him in a containment cell." he added and JARVIS followed orders.

I pushed myself off the floor as everybody else got up also. There was a big dent in the wall from where Maria and Steve had been pushed backwards to. I walked over with the team and saw the couple on the floor. Steve's shield was in his hand protecting their faces, but they didn't seem to be moving. As I took the shield out of the way of Steve's face, he woke up. His eyes fluttered open and he turned to Maria. "Ria?" he asked, checking her pulse. "Thank God." he whispered and turned to us. "She's alive."

We exhaled as Steve tried to wake her up. As he was doing that, we turned back to Tony who was leaning against his cell wall. "What the hell were you thinking?" Clint asked. He had a strong relationship with Hill as well as Potts.

"I need her back." Tony said, pulling his knees up. "I need her back with me. Any way possible."

"Well we can't get her back." he said. "She's dead and it's your fault. You need to accept that and move on." Clint added.

"Clint, I don't think it's entirely his fault." Jane said.

"It is." Tony said, getting up slowly. "It's my fault. It's all my fault."

Maria gasped for air and sat up quickly. She glared at Tony and walked over to him as fast as she could with the injuries that she had. "What the hell do you think you were doing? You tried to kill me!"

"I'm sorry." he whispered and she was about to start ranting again, but she could see in his face that he meant it. He was truly sorry.

"Okay." she said and stepped back. "Just don't try it again."

"I won't." he whispered. He looked up to the ceiling and said "Just bring her back…"

"BRING HER BACK!" he shouted towards the ceiling. We stood around him, staring at him, and thought...how did he become like this? I felt a tear glide down my face and I shut my eyes. I heard him as he started hitting the side of the cell and repeating the same thing. "BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK!" He kept smashing against it, completely breaking down. He was crying and screaming and hitting the wall. "BRING HER BACK TO ME! JUST BRING HER BACK!"

"JARVIS?" Rhodey called quietly as Tony continued.

"Yes, Mr. Rhodes."

"Allow me to enter the containment cell."

"Authorisation allowed."

James passed through the cell and crouched down next to Tony. His hands were bruised from hitting the cell so hard and so many times. He kept hitting it and screaming until Rhodey stopped his hands. Tony thrashed around for a bit before stopping. He looked up at Rhodes.  
"She's left me." Tony said, his voice breaking up at certain points.

"I know...I know…" James replied and gave Tony a hug, allowing him to cry on his shoulder. I sat down on a nearby chair and watched the scene. "I know." James said again and cried along with Tony. We all did.

Tony. Tony Stark. That name was written in the every street, every country. His face everywhere, his company everywhere and his life everywhere. I never thought I would see a man so broken down inside and out. How am I meant to react to this? What do I say to him? I'm sorry? I wish I could've saved her? It's all my fault? People say that it's natural to cry about death. They say that having the courage to bare your emotions makes you stronger somehow. Am I meant to ask what I can do for him? Apparently that is supposed to help. I don't see how. He's lost everything. He's lost the one person that he loves and I can't bare to hurt him even more. Tony may not have been kindest, but he always cared for Pepper. They were always there for each other. I don't know how he feels. How is a Black Widow like me meant to understand how a normal person like him feels about this. I've never been hurt badly...not emotionally anyway. I was mainly this upset, because of Pepper, but also because Tony was killing inside. I can understand why he wants to die.

 **Please review this chapter. I know it dragged on for a bit, but I wanted to convey all of his emotions in one big chapter. I thought that this was the best way to do it. So emotional! I know this is a shorted chapter compared to the others but I wanted to leave it the way it is.**


	20. Recovery

**THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER! Didn't know where I was going with this, so I decided to finish it and focus on my other story :)**

 **Previously:**

 **Pepper died**

 **Tony goes mental over it**

 **HYDRA is responsible**

I was sitting in the living room next to Bruce. Tony had gone mad about Pepper's death. He had been in his room for two days. There was a seal around him that allows us into his room, but he was not allowed out. All objects that could aid suicide had been removed. We had been on shifts looking over him to make sure that he didn't do anything stupid. Clint had been recovering. He hadn't really left his room apart from getting food and coffee. I tried to speak to him, but he didn't want to talk so I left him alone. I would wait until he was ready to talk.

"What are we going to do? He can't just stay in that room for the rest of his life." Bruce said, sipping his tea.

"We can't exactly let him go. The funeral is in two days. He'll want to be there. He deserves to be there." I said. "Maybe you should go and talk to him?" I suggested.

He arched his eyebrow. "Really? You think that is a good idea. I can turn into the Hulk just by being stapled. Believe me, Tony tried it."

"Well there are no staplers in there so you will be fine." I said, smiling. He smirked slightly, but shook his head.

"You're crazy." he said, but got up regardless. "Well, it's worth a shot. He's not going anywhere anyway so I might as well try." He walked away and I lied down on the sofa, looking out of the glass window. It wasn't interesting. It was just the balcony, but it was something to look at that was out of the room. I considered going out there, but I remembered that it was cold this morning so I decided against it.

"Hey." I heard a small voice from behind me and slowly sat up. I turned my head to the right and saw Clint coming towards me. He was in his old grey S.H.I.E.L.D hoodie and some black trousers.

"Hi." I replied and sat up properly, so he could sit next to me. "You look like shit by the way." I said, noticing the rings underneath his eyes from where he had been crying and deprived of sleep.

"I know." he smirked and sat down next to me. "Maria came and spoke to me and knocked some sense into me. I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you."

I nodded and looked outside again. "It's okay. It's not your fault." I leaned back against the sofa and he copied me, turning his head so he could face me. I kept my head focused on the ceiling as he spoke.

"I just needed time to adjust." he said. I turned my head to look at him and smiled.

"I understand." I replied. He moved his body a bit closer and rested his head on my shoulder. We sat there for a bit, just comfortable in each others company and after a while he spoke up.

"How's Tony? I haven't seen him for days."  
"As you know, he has been on lockdown in his room. He isn't really talking to anyone. Bruce hadn't gone to speak to him yet, so I just sent him off to try and get Tony talking."

"Good plan." he said and pressed a long kiss on my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me onto his lap, so he could hug me tighter. "God, I've missed you." he said as I wrapped my arms around his back.

"I've missed you too...babe…" I said.

"Babe?" he asked. _I did that last bit for him._

"What? I thought you liked nicknames?"

"I much prefer Hawk." he said and I shook my head.

"Fine. Hawk it is. But remember…"

"No names in the bedroom. Got it ma'am." he said. Our faces were so close and I couldn't resist it - I pressed a light kiss on his lips. I had missed that feeling. There was something about Clint's lips that just made me smile and we had to break apart after a while because I couldn't stop smiling. I was physically unable to kiss him. "I love your smile, but I love kissing you. I'm wondering whether I should make you angry just so I can kiss you again or enjoy right now." he said and held me close. "I think I will just enjoy right now." He closed his eyes and I pressed a kiss onto his forehead before resting my head on his shoulder.

I lay on top of him, truly relaxing for the first time in a long while, and snuggled further into his neck.

"The incident just made me think about how valuable you are to me and how...how I don't want to lose you." Clint said and I looked up at him.

"You're not asking me to marry you, are you?" I asked and he laughed.

"Would you even say yes if I did?" he asked and laughed again. _...maybe…_ "No. It's just Tony has lost Pepper and so have I…" he said looking at the floor. "...but...I never want to go through what Tony is going through. I want to protect you more than anyone or anything else. Maybe not my cookie dough stash on top of the cupboard, but..." he said and I laughed at him.

"So that's where you've been hiding it?" I asked and he nodded.

"You would have stolen it otherwise." he replied and then stopped. "Oh God...I've just revealed its location."

I smiled at him evily and he scowled at me. "Don't even think about it…" I sprinted off of him and round the sofa, but he took the shortcut and jumped over the back of it. "Don't you dare!" he shouted and I laughed as I ran into the kitchen. I tried to climb onto the kitchen side so I could reach (damn my height) but he caught up with me and tackled me to the ground. We slid across the ground and nearly crashed into the cupboard, but Clint put his foot out, which stopped us colliding into them.

We laughed and he pulled me up to a sitting position. Our eyes locked once again and he brought his hand up to my cheek. "So beautiful…" he whispered and I smiled, blushing slightly.

I leant forward and kissed him softly on the lips. I shut my eyes and let the feeling fill me up as I had the chance to feel it, unlike some others. Someone coughed and we snapped apart, turning round to see Steve, Maria, Fury, Thor and Betty standing there. Betty brought her hand back down to her side and we stood up.

"Really Romanoff?" Fury asked. "You're blushing? All your training has gone to shit hasn't it…"

"Sorry Sir." I said and brushed myself down.

"You're looking better Clint." Maria smiled.

"I'm feeling better. Thank you for talking to me earlier." he said and smiled.

"That's alright." she replied and held her arms out for her to hug him. "I'm happy you are back with us."

"Me too." he sighed and hugged her back.

"Now, before you interrupted us…" Fury said, staring me and Clint down with one eye. "we were discussing the funeral arrangements for Miss Potts. I have already agreed that it is too risky for Tony to be there. Now…"

"Hang on...you aren't letting Tony go to the funeral?" Clint asked.

"He is on the edge of completely falling apart. I saw the footage from the medical centre. He lost it."

"Yes, but he is improving." I lied. "It's practically disrespectful for him not being allowed to go."

"I agree. Imagine if he found out." Maria added.

"He would be even more upset if he didn't attend." Steve said, lacing hands with Maria.

"I must agree. Man of Iron should be allowed to attend the funeral of his partner in life." Thor said.

Fury sighed, a slight grumble emitting from his throat, but finally agreed. "Alright, if you can get him under control for the day then yes. I will be checking him over before he leaves the building. Got it?" Fury asked and we nodded. "Good." he said and left the room.

"Okay, we need to make sure that he is actually improving and not 'improving' like Natasha said he is."

"Bruce is in there right now talking with him." I said.

"Good. He probably needs him. Falcon is stationed outside and is watching everything that has been going on. He hasn't reported anything yet, so I'm guessing that everything…." Sam walked casually into the kitchen and picked up an orange juice. "is...fine…" Maria finished. We were all staring at him and he didn't notice until he gulped down at least half the carton.

"What?" he asked, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He looked curiously at Maria. "What are you doing here? Aren't you meant to be looking after Tony?"

"What?!" she exclaimed. "You are meant to be there!"

"No I'm not. I take over at 11." he said and was about to drink some more orange juice, but stopped half way up to his lips. "Wait…" He placed the carton on the side. "no one's watching over him?" he asked.

There was a long pause before Betty said "Shit!" We all sprinted towards Tony's room and brought up the surveillance of the room on the panel outside. Bruce and Tony were sitting on the couch, talking over something.

"Oh thank God…" Betty said, relieved that they hadn't smashed each others heads in.

"Sorry." Maria said. "I must've forgotten when Fury called for me."

"It's fine. He seems to be okay for now." Steve said. "I'll keep watch for a bit."

"I'll stay with you." Maria smiled and looked at us. "We will tell you if his condition develops, but it looks like Bruce has got it under control now."

"We will come and catch up with you guys later." Clint smiled and they nodded.

Me and Clint went to sit in the kitchen whilst Thor went to speak with Jane, Falcon went to train and Betty did not say where she was going, but I expected that she went to see Bruce. "We've been given a lead on one of the new HYDRA bases by the way. Steve told me the other day." I said.

"Really? he asked. "Why haven't we gone yet?"

"Coulson's team are on it and it hasn't been confirmed yet. It's just suspicion."

"Good to know they are up to something other than hiding." he said, wrapping his arms round my waist and resting his head on my shoulder as I started cutting up some carrots for lunch.

"That's all they seem to be good at right now." I joked and put the carrots in a bowl. I reached over for the lettuce, but couldn't reach because Clint was holding my waist. "Do you mind?" I asked.

"Yes..." he said and kissed my shoulder. "I…" he added, kissing up my neck. "do…" he said and kissed my cheek softly. I smiled and turned my head round to kiss him on the lips.

"Food or me?" I asked and he actually considered it.

"Hmm...very tough choice." he said in fake ponderment.

"You don't even have to answer." I said and grabbed the lettuce from the side.

I began to chop it up as he whispered "It would be you. Every time."

I stopped cutting and breathed out peacefully _. I was so lucky to have him._ I smiled to myself and then went back to slicing the vegetables, Clint's arm tightening around my waist once more. "Why do people hate us so much?" he asked sulkily, resting his head on my shoulder. "Why do people keep trying to kill us?"

"Try being the president without any death threats." I reasoned, putting some carrots in a bowl.

"I know, but killing Pepper and keeping Tony alive to see her being killed. That's just cruel." he said, the images of Pepper forming behind his eyes.

"Look, she knew the risks of being with Tony. It wasn't our fault. It was HYDRA's." I assured him and kissed his cheek. "We'll manage, okay? I promise I will never leave you. Besides…" I smiled. "I have you to keep me safe don't I?"

He smirked and cupped my cheek. "You'll always have me." He kissed me softly and stroked my cheek. "Always." he repeated and I smiled. I was so lucky to have someone as good as Clint in my life. And I hoped that was the way it would be forever.

 **This is the end of Avengers Disassembled! I didn't feel like this was really going anywhere so I left it like this to run into AOU! I have a NEW FANFICTION about Quicksilver and an enhanced that I will be spending a lot of time on. Can't wait :) PLEASE REVIEW! Thank you so much for reading this far in. I really appreciate it!**


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